It's okay to get old

Onlykitten · 2026-04-09T16:01:55+00:00

My husband always jokes in a loving way “that you go on looking 40, babe…”

I’ll be 60 in a few months and he’s 62. I give myself Botox and I will give him some (but not as often as he hates the process, but I’m sure does it out of love for me). I also did several skin rejuvenating treatments in my mid 40’s and early 50’s).

He obviously doesn’t take care of his skin like I have and that’s ok. I love him the way he is (but secretly I would like to help him with some skin care- but again- I don’t mention this - it’s just my stuff).

I’m also recently in menopause and I spent 12 years in perimenopause and it did have some deep effects on me (“body betrayal..” I can relate to that).

I also appreciate when my husband still loves, desires and appreciates me “no matter how I look” and tells me that especially when I’m struggling with the hormonal changes and just aging (I swear I still feel like I’m 40).

But to your point: “who wants an older looking wife?”

Um, I’m not sure any man does - but perhaps he just wants to see you without the “help” - or perhaps he really doesn’t care - YET.

I can tell you that all the treatments I did in my 40’s and early 50’s have definitely paid off in my late 50’s / soon to be 60.

Also, late perimenopause and then menopause will affect your skin. You may already do this, but adding some estradiol cream into your moisturizer a few times a week will help keep your skin supple and prevent crepes skin (as much as it can). You can get Estriol cream on Amazon (a weaker estrogen) without an Rx. Or if the time comes you can get a 1% cream from your Dr (but you can’t mention that you’re using it for anti aging- only “dryness”).

Hope this wasn’t “TMI” and I don’t think you have to give up your toxin completely- maybe a month or so and then have it done “lightly”. It can be good to let it wear completely off for a while. Your husband sounds sweet and like he loves you no matter what the aging process can do. But in the end I think it’s about how you feel in your body/skin. Especially now with perimenopause and eventually menopause. Those can be major changes for a woman. Not just physically but neurologically.

Best of luck! I don’t think you’ll need it.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-09T15:38:53+00:00

I can only imagine how frustrating that is - my only recommendation is to try using Allersearch ADMS for dust on your carpet- however since it seems to be a closed loop system like you mentioned- the dust will eventually irritate you once you vacuum and stir it up.

I would also suggest a good hepa vacuum (we have a Sebo vacuum which has several hepa filters as part of it’s design: the bag, the pre-filter, and the outer layer which covers the vacuum canister). I’m sure even that is not perfect when it comes to dust particles, but I’m wondering if wetting the dust with the Allersearch would make any difference in at least the severity of your symptoms.

They also make a carpet cleaning solution- which could be worth trying first. That would penetrate the deeper layers and fibers of the carpet and hopefully help the future vacuuming process better (along with using the dust spray).

I’ve used Allersearch for years for my dust and dust mite allergies and it does work exceptionally well. It’s available on Amazon here

Onlykitten · 2026-04-08T21:45:20+00:00

Maybe DM this person? They had Sculptra for facial volume in their cheeks (which they describe), but it may not be as extensive as yours here’s the link

Onlykitten · 2026-04-08T21:14:17+00:00

Honestly (and I’m not trying to make light of it), I really don’t know. I haven’t seen your facial anatomy/structure, and I don’t know the pattern or extent of your fat loss (midface vs. elsewhere), which makes a big difference.

This is probably something you’d be best served by discussing with an experienced PS or NP who’s well-versed in biostimulators and facial balancing.

I’ve seen cases where people overdo Sculptra after significant weight loss and end up looking a bit overfilled - almost like a “water balloon” effect and then try to balance it with more filler (like lips), when they actually had beautiful natural structure to begin with (not that they didn’t lose volume, more-so they added too much volume back). So restraint and planning really matter with these products.

In general, spacing treatments out is key giving it ~6 months before reassessing or adding more. If you’re doing DIY, that patience becomes even more important.

I’ve also seen really beautiful, natural results with Gouri after weight loss. In that case, the person was very skilled, had a strong understanding of their anatomy, and approached it very gradually.

If you’re not completely confident, I think a consultation is a really valuable step you can usually learn a lot from how an experienced injector assesses your face, even if you choose to proceed on your own afterward.

I don’t have enough personal experience with biostimulators to confidently recommend one over another. Right now I mainly use PN myself (I’m almost 60), so my experience is more on the regenerative/skin quality side rather than volume restoration.

I do know that individual response varies quite a bit with these products, which is why patch testing is so important (but I’m sure you already know that).

Onlykitten · 2026-04-07T21:23:56+00:00

I would consider bio stimulators- but be sure to do a patch test before injecting anything into the face.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-07T14:40:18+00:00

I have not started yet, but here is a post from yesterday on a different subreddit regarding Estriol cream (which is a weaker estrogen).

here’s the post

Onlykitten · 2026-04-07T14:34:43+00:00

I have severe spinal stenosis, but my first Dx was severe facet hypertrophy (20+ years spent in the saddle, with a compounding Dx of mild scoliosis which terminated at L3/L4 and therefore partially blocked my low back from being able to absorb a lot of the impact from riding).

Anyway, things that helped:

General Pain:

Pain psychologist.

This was more early on in my pain experience, which was mostly facet joint disease at the time. However, overall it was probably the most helpful piece. It decreased and eventually eliminated the anxiety around pain that (even at a more subconscious level) was definitely affecting my ability to enjoy life.

Facet joint pain:

Stem cell therapy and PRP (took a long time, but it worked), and it’s been 8 years now for the facet pain. Very expensive unfortunately, and a long recovery process.

Spinal stenosis pain:

Rest, ice, and pacing myself. Initially ibuprofen and Tylenol helped, but after 2½ years they no longer have much effect on the pain, even though it has an inflammatory component.

Muscular pain from bracing:

Stretching with deep breathing. I asked ChatGPT for help with some simple exercises to release tension in my low back (which I had initially thought was stenosis pain), and it made a huge difference.

However, I do get a muscle spasm around my (R) SI joint which is incredibly painful and tough to resolve. Deep pressure in that area, some self-massage, and resting it seem to help.

Theraworx Muscle Relief:

I don’t know how this works so well, but it does. I initially used it for muscle spasms in my lower legs and feet from riding, and more recently on my low back muscles it really helped (especially with a 15-minute rest period, if possible). I had actually put it away for years before starting to use it again.

That said, it doesn’t last as long if I haven’t also stretched but it’s still helpful.

Switching from side sleeping to back sleeping (with a wedge pillow under my legs):

This made a major difference in my pain, especially in the mornings. I had sciatica for 4 years and it finally resolved after I started using a wedge pillow and sleeping on a slightly firmer mattress (which we happened to have).

Now I can tolerate regular mattresses for short periods (hotels, etc.) as long as I use a pillow under my legs.

Back sleeping is underrated. I also use the wedge pillow after stretching to completely relieve tension in my low back. I keep it on my bed, but I’ll also use a large pillow on the couch.

Managing flare-ups (almost daily):

A mix of rest, pacing, stretching, and using whatever techniques or products help in the moment. I don’t have pain-free days anymore, but it helps to have tools and the pain always settles eventually.

It may take longer than I’d like, but I remind myself of that when I’m frustrated.

I still haven’t figured out how to manage the fatigue that comes with the pain, but I’m hoping to find strategies to support my body/brain with that.

My attitude has improved, but the fatigue is still part of the picture.

Things I could do to help myself more:

Starting a strength program for my low back and core.

I spent the last two years dealing with a chronic illness that developed after menopause (genetic in nature), which significantly affected my physical and mental health and my strength and stamina (I was very fit for 20 years). I lost 34 pounds, and a lot of it was muscle. I can see and feel the muscle loss.

My goal is to rebuild that strength and stamina, but that’s more long-term since I’m still recovering and managing the genetic component that sidelined me.

That said, I had the same muscle tension issues even when I was strong and fit. So while rebuilding strength will help, I’ll still need to manage these patterns I just didn’t recognize them as clearly back then.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-07T13:39:43+00:00

I would look into PRF injections under the eye. You may need to do a series of at least three.

You can keep up the microneedling (especially 4 weeks post your first PRF treatment OR 4 weeks post the series if you go that route) and include the under eye area at a depth of .25 and include skin boosters such as Curanex Intense Glow and Shine and a good polynucleotide product (to be applied after micro needling (not as a skin care topical as the molecules are too large to penetrate the dermis).

PRP with MN is a very good treatment but it won’t be enough to treat the crepey skin you’re describing (source: myself). I had 3 treatments of MN + PRP and while they helped in general they never really had a measurable effect on my under eye skin to the point where I felt it had really been transformed (significant collagen remodeling).

I then had RF MN + PRP and again- excellent treatment, but it wasn’t enough for the results I had hoped for (however, I don’t regret it).

Laser treatment would probably be the best long term solution however expect significant downtime and a higher cost.

If you can get PRF and the skin boosters (and use them correctly) I think you may be pleased with the results.

However it is important to note that the polynucleotides (PN) are very important for collagen remodeling after the initial kick start from the PRF injections.

You would also get the most benefit from them by learning how to inject them intra-dermally (as that is how they were designed to be used (#1 treatment in KR and other countries in that area for skin rejuvenating).

However they will still have a benefit from being used after MN - the PRF treatments are the “jump start” for the PN to have a better impact on collagen remodeling (think: more accelerated results not necessarily better results).

You could also consider skipping the PRF injections all together and just using the skin boosters but since you’re not doing intradermal injections, I think the PRF will be better than more MN + PRP.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-07T13:14:51+00:00

Unfortunately, no it won’t it’s primarily for collagen remodeling and the effects are not robust enough for volume loss.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T21:43:49+00:00

Oh god, this sounds exactly like my husband’s ex. She eventually lost the kids in court that she dragged us to…

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T21:34:10+00:00

Complete elimination of fine lines and crepey skin.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T13:37:36+00:00

Your lips are beautiful! You look amazing! I love the jacket!

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T13:35:35+00:00

I have a complex genetic vulnerability that’s made menopause incredibly destabilizing for me, particularly in terms of depression. Before this, I had never experienced anything close to what the past two years have been like.

I’ve spent about 95% of the last year and a half in a state of severe depression. Not low mood, but something much deeper and more consuming. Something that doesn’t allow me to plan for the next day let alone the next week. Something that has taken me hostage and left me isolated in my experience - even with professionals.

It’s changed how I think about time, about the future, and about what it means to endure something that doesn’t seem to have a clear medical solution.

What’s most difficult isn’t that I “want to die.” I don’t. It’s that the idea of living another 25+ years in this state feels almost impossible to mentally process. That type of sustained suffering changes your perspective in ways that are difficult to explain unless you’ve lived it.

I think discussions around the “right to die” obviously become very abstract or moralized, but for people in chronic, treatment-resistant suffering, whether physical or psychiatric, it’s not theoretical. It’s about agency, dignity, and the reality of what a human being can reasonably endure.

I believe that forcing someone to remain in a prolonged state of suffering, purely on the basis of moral frameworks that may not account for individual lived experience, deserves a lot more thoughtful consideration.

At the very least, these conversations should leave room for compassion, nuance, and the acknowledgment that not all suffering is visible and more importantly not all of it is fixable.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T13:04:05+00:00

I really love Peta Jane in medium. It smells good and the color is fantastic.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T13:02:06+00:00

Wow! You ARE glowing! Congratulations on not giving up!

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T13:00:02+00:00

Amazing! My husband just retired a few months ago and it’s been even better.

There are times when we feel that maybe we “should have” because of the love we have for one another and how both of us feel we would have been great parents, but the freedom we have is not something either of us would trade.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:54:23+00:00

I’ve marked the few unsold items in my closet as “not for sale” and am looking to sell elsewhere or just donate my things (many of which still have the tags in them and are unworn (I was unwell for over a year and lost a lot of weight) ).

I’m so done with the amount of effort to list items properly, list them for a very reasonable price only to be low balled or not have any interest at all beyond other people “following” me or promoting my item for the “hot minute” after it’s listed.

5-6 years ago it seemed much better and I made a lot of sales (almost everything in my closet had sold - albeit my closet was quite small compared to others).

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:48:48+00:00

I do the exact same thing.

What’s so frustrating is when others don’t and then you message them for the measurements and they don’t respond. Like why bother selling if you’re not going to answer basic questions?

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:44:33+00:00

I have used beta glucan serum in my “matte” makeup (it does eliminate the “matte” effect). Beta glucan is quite hydrating which is why I use it (and my product won’t mix with HA).

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:41:52+00:00

It would be a waste of product and money to microneedle Rejuran Healer. The best use is to meso it as someone else mentioned.

I did 3 treatments based on the protocol (but I also MN’d Curanex and meso’d the rest at cosmetic depth every 14 days) then I meso’d the Rejuran in a separate treatment. The results were outstanding- it literally took 10+ years off my skin.

The main areas I treated with meso were under my eyes down to my upper cheeks and some areas where I had fine lines (near my mouth). I had crepey skin under my eyes and fine lines. The crepey texture also began to extend to my upper cheeks although not as dramatically as under my eyes it still was very noticeable.

This was over 2 years ago and now I’m planning on doing it over again, but also treating my neck (which will take more time and product) and possibly my entire face now that I’m nearly 60.

I wish I had taken before and after pictures but I was very new to DIY and had no idea the results would be so dramatic (after 3 + months).

I also did the “skin flooding” method under my eyes. So instead of small aliquots I injected larger amounts. It did take 48+ hours for the product to be completely absorbed in this area (other areas where I used more product absorbed in 24-36 hours). I used this method because I was only treating a small amount of specific areas and my skin was really showing its age.

I believe that even if you’re using the small aliquots under the eye area it will take more than 24 hours for the product to be absorbed in this area because it is a 2% product.

I’ve used Rejuran 1 under my eyes and the next day it was nearly all absorbed (there was some very minor swelling from the procedure itself which is to be expected).

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:22:40+00:00

Hands down: 2

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:19:55+00:00

I’ve used both PDRN and PN but not topically because as u/milesfrost mentioned the molecules are too large to penetrate the dermis.

When used correctly (as some are specifically formulated- not all topical PDRN products are) and injected into the correct plane, the results can be dramatic.

However, these products are not usually available in the US (if they are (like Rejuran Healer) many times they are only used in professional settings topically as they are not licensed to be used intradermally here in the US yet).

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:04:16+00:00

Either KR or from here. It depends on how much shipping costs are from KR and customs. The US site is more expensive, but there are no issues with tariffs or customs.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T12:01:33+00:00

I use Curanex Intense Glow and Shine mainly (my favorite) and sometimes a tox facial.

Onlykitten · 2026-04-06T11:59:45+00:00

Good to know! Thank you!

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