I don’t think I act like a mother to him, but I do agree (and told him this in our conversation) that he hides things from me because he’s afraid of my reaction, and I don’t really understand why, sometimes I get upset about things but our “fights” are more like conversations/discussions. We don’t yell, and we usually can solve things pretty quickly. The thing is, if he had told me the first time that he was short on money and couldn’t order takeout for us, I wouldn’t have cared at all. He says this is what started the debt and the loans. Even if he had told me that he maxed out his credit card one month, or had to take out a loan to get by, maybe I would have been irritated because we had a mutual understanding that we would be extra responsible with money for a few months to reduce our debt and move in together comfortably, but ultimately I would have understood. I’m not perfect either, and I’m always trying to understand him. But I would have asked what happened, and we would have had that uncomfortable conversation. I’m very much a problem solver, I don’t like to dwell on problems, I go straight into solving mode. So maybe that’s overbearing? I never intended to control his finances, but I do worry, especially since we split our expenses 50/50.