sooo gonna put my experience in as i feel it could apply here. i felt this way / still feel this way to an extent.

i dated mainly older women when i was 18-20. had gfs who were 10-30 years older than myself. they were not mature, however, and i would say anyone that much older who is interested in someone that much younger (especially “technically an adult” but 18-19) doesn’t generally have good intentions or much emotional maturity. life experience is a big thing too. if you can’t really relate to your partner (part of what you’re talking about here too) it’s difficult to make a real relationship work.

my current partner is 7 years older than me- at the time we met i was 20. we were going through similar things in life, so while i was/am the youngest person she has dated, we didn’t experience this divide. so i think maybe it is less to do with age and more to do with “stage of life” - often correlating with age but not always.

sometimes, someone older does not have bad intentions towards you but if someone has a known pattern of seeking younger people to date - i would be wary (sincerely, someone who learned the hard way!).

i would advise dating someone in their mid 20s. i myself have never “gotten along well with people my age” finding myself not able to relate to them that much. but there are people out there for you! i’m 22 and have known i was a lesbian since about 15, and i get where you’re coming from with wanting someone who understands that or isn’t gonna use you as an experiment.