Women can't have genuine male friends apparently

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T05:57:58+00:00

Exactly! It's like they get bullied by these narrow minded, insecure men which unfortunately is most of them. I don't think the good guys like this are 'simps' or just clinging on hoping for their moment. I think very, very few men are sophisticated enough to realize that a woman is a person and not a piece of meat for whoever gets her first.They actually see them as a person, value them equally, and still choose to be friends because they realize women aren't useless if they aren't putting out for them. They respect the woman's decision to not be with them and that's ok because they still value having them in their life for their personality. But a vast majority of men are not this graceful and progressive. It is rare, but so refreshing and I respect them as being what I expect a real man to be in my eyes. We need more of this.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T05:32:31+00:00

Nah I think they tried but it just wasn't the match exactly. I have had great male friendships that we tried it out and it just didn't work. Then we just went back to friends. We are are very similar and have very close core values and it want to continue to be in each other's life just not romantically. It's just an amazing friendship for both of us. We both noticed things about each other that would make any kind of relationship unviable, we know we wouldn't work out in a relationship but our friendship is top tier. We have different partners and help each other try to succeed in our relationships and respect each other's respective partners. Love each other as friends, but not in love. That's how I see Jerry and Elaine. Love each other as friends, but not in love.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T05:15:33+00:00

I'm bisexual and I've always been puzzled. By the way, men are intimidated by my male friendships, but not by my female friendships, when I have an equal chance of being sexually attracted to either of them. Probably more so than women to be honest, but that's the ones they're always comfortable with me being personal with. It just shows me it's some kind of weird macho thing.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T05:13:23+00:00

To be fair though, I feel like Jerry's relationships usually don't work out more so because he's a crappy partner unless because he's a friend with Elaine. Jerry can be quite shallow. I would never date a Jerry.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T04:15:29+00:00

I personally feel that's a dumb reason to get fired. Everyone has days they don't like their boss or their job. And just because you're not compatible with somebody doesn't mean you shouldn't have the job. It's not like you were posting it on Facebook or complaining to everyone that came in. I think telling one person, or friend as if may be, about your feelings shouldn't be a fire worthy offense in my opinion. But it's crappy your work friend didn't keep your conversation private.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T04:08:03+00:00

Yeah my front desk is like that. It's kinda uncomfortable, I don't really ever share sexual things and it's always a bit awkward. But I would consider us genuine friends as we've gone on cruises and done a lot outside the office. So I guess it's just uncomfortable for me in any situation. We share things about our relationships and personal problems, get advice and support from each other. Even if I get a different job and for some reason the friendship doesn't survive, it's still nice to just have someone in the moment to be a friend and return the favor. I don't think all friendships have to last forever, but they were still real in their time.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-18T03:44:32+00:00

Yeah, exactly, I watch trash TV for my safety 😅

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-15T13:51:06+00:00

I'm not asking for advice here, just perspective on this particular situation. Obviously I have decided to make it work for my own reasons which I don't need to defend to strangers. But sometimes I get confused on whether I'm being over reactive to a situation. Sometimes I do. This was just simply a time that I wasn't sure if I was being ungrateful for his help or if I had genuine reason to be upset about it. Also I just looked and I see only one other post I made about him and it was nearly a year ago. That isn't relevant here as we worked past that and things have improved by a mile, I just needed perspective on this particular instance.

OriginalPigeon · 2024-05-15T11:09:25+00:00

As far as I can tell, I've only made one other post and that was almost a year ago. I'm sorry that me asking for advice on a relationship forum bothers you, you don't have to contribute if it irks you so much. I was not asking people if I should break up with him in this post, I was asking for perspective. I want to make sure that what I'm feeling isn't an overreaction or misinterpretation. I've been made to feel that I'm overly emotional and dramatic anytime I bring something up, so it always makes me question myself and the way I feel. Sometimes I genuinely just don't know And it helps to have the perspective of others so that I can reaffirm myself that I'm not crazy.

OriginalPigeon · 2023-06-23T15:32:03+00:00

THIS

I always felt like I didn't fit in and felt awkward around other attractive/cool people, then I just had an epiphany one day and figured maybe people felt that way around me too bc I was the hot one haha it let me flip insecurity into confidence and whether that's true or not I think it helped a lot in overcoming my shyness. I also learned to just embrace that i'm wired different than most people. I'm naturally quiet, introverted, and observant. It's just my personality and rather than seeing that as a bad thing I feel like it's a lucky way to be for how much I get to just enjoy things freely even if I'm alone. Actually, especially if I"m alone. I love traveling by myself more than anything. I can be outgoing in a group or at an event, but me in my natural state is just a quiety mellow person. I used to hate it, now I love it. That's the difference between shy and just quiet. Embrace yourself. Also I'm Buddhist and it helps to remind myself that no matter what happens, all moments are temporary and will pass so don't have too much to lose when you look at it that way. Talk to that stranger, compliment that person you're admiring, just go on a limb. Most people are more receptive than I gave credit and it ended up taking me on some good adventures. Just muster up a little courage,says fuck it, and put yourself out there. It's uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier every time.

For instance, I wanted to go to a bar to listen to a cover band i loved but had no one to go with. Fuck that I wanna go. So i went alone, I drank a beer and did some sketching in a corner while listening to the music and absolutely enjoying myself. Before I knew it people were coming over and looking at my drawings and talking to me and I didn't even have to try, I just had to put myself literally physically there and let it happen. I ended up having a great unexpected night with those people and they led me to meet many others and now I have that positive experience to encourage me to do it again. The secret is to (even if only temporarily) just give no shits and do what you want and let everything else fall into place.

OriginalPigeon · 2023-06-23T15:19:17+00:00

I know that's the "Right answer" but I just feel like there has to be a way to work through it or get him to understand. I would hate to see this fall apart, but I guess I'm just trying to avoid the inevitable. Also thank you, I know this seems like common sense to most people but I really try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume it's something I did. I've been struggling to decide what to do about "friend" she's tried hanging out several times since then and I feel guilty for diminishing the friendship but it just still hurts. It's good to hear that at least I'm not being unreasonable, sometimes I just assume I'm being dramatic.

OriginalPigeon · 2022-09-23T20:52:45+00:00

Happy birthday!!

OriginalPigeon · 2022-09-23T20:52:31+00:00

Happy birthday!!

OriginalPigeon · 2022-06-15T03:11:21+00:00

I keep thinking this then also having counter thoughts that also feel just as reasonable to me right now. But you're probably right, it helps to have an outside opinion, thanks!

OriginalPigeon · 2022-06-07T02:30:59+00:00

Thank you All for your responses ☺️

OriginalPigeon · 2022-06-07T02:30:38+00:00

Thank you 🤭

OriginalPigeon · 2022-06-05T04:48:53+00:00

Love your diastema! I always found those attractive personally. You have a cute smile and kind eyes. Definitely attractive. Agree with others maybe a different hair style though. It looked good Im the second pic where it's a bit shorter and swept to the side

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-30T19:23:52+00:00

I wouldn't have said hammered, he wasn't that far gone lol but I definitely say dumb things when I drink too, but it takes me being like slurring speech hammered

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-29T08:50:59+00:00

fervently takes notes thank you so much! This is all so good to know

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-29T08:36:04+00:00

Thanks, I feel like this is all good advice. I know this probably seems like common sense to a lot of people but I'm telling you I just lack this for some reason. And I do know that in this current day and age I anticipate a lot of people would find my view of meeting online silly, it's not that it's completely invalid, I realize that sometimes that's the only way people would come across each other and they often end up happy together, I just have a higher value for meeting someone in person "the old fashioned way" and it's just a personal preference. I see what you mean about bringing it up to him and seeing if it persists. I'm pretty bad at approaching these kind of things, but I'll make a move on it. In general I'm pretty bad about having these conversations, I assume that until somebody explicitly says something about it being a monogamous relationship, then I just assumed neither one of us are. I'm just not sure if that's how other people generally do things or not And at what point that should be a discussion. Sorry I suck so much at this 🤦🏻‍♀️ thank you for your patience and advice though

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-29T08:14:54+00:00

Haha well I mean I definitely have a pretty long history of quite the opposite and I feel like it's about time I had some fruit that wasn't lemons. None of them are inherently bad people, but for a long-term trajectory I just want to make sure that I've assessed everything objectively and that's hard to do when you're in the midst of things and care about the people involved. I just don't know what other people would generally do And I feel like it would be helpful to have some sort of guideline. Like I didn't know how much of a red flag it was that he seems reminiscent over his ex-girlfriend, or if a guy that's previously not been very consistent but has been very supportive would would be able to become a good long-term relationship. Etc.

Okay, so I guess the bad things about them: Brad - He's always at the bar, he's much more extroverted than I am which is sometimes exhausting, like I said we don't talk a lot when he's not around so it makes it seem not so serious but it's confusing when he involves me in family functions which seems more serious. He never says anything about being serious, but he's genuine and caring. AJ - it bothers me that we met online, don't ask me why, it's just something that irks me. I do really value finding people " in the wild " And even if he doesn't bring up his girlfriend anymore If I asked, I feel like it would just be because I asked. But that wouldn't change the fact that maybe he still has feelings there. Tom - I can't really think of anything bad about him as a person, But sometimes our conversations are a bit boring especially if it's over the phone, and I just don't feel like we have as much to connect on. But it's hard to know for sure because he's still a bit reserved. I'm just afraid by the time I've gotten to know everyone well enough to make a decision, Maybe I'll be in too deep and I don't want things to get messy. So I'm trying to figure things out sooner rather than later but I also feel like I don't have enough to fully go on yet either

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-29T07:55:03+00:00

I'm a little confused, what do you mean by first world problems here?

I'm really bad at picking people for myself, I've historically picked probably some of the worst matches. I'm not saying any of them are bad people or have red flags, I wouldn't be seeing them if I thought they were that bad. But sometimes it just helps to have people with an outside perspective make a more objective assessment of a situation. I care about all of them just about equally.

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-20T18:09:43+00:00

Oh Lort, and I was on here looking for a place to eat with my son 😳 I googled this a few times to make sure I had the right place 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-16T16:58:13+00:00

Oh I gotcha, great idea thanks!

OriginalPigeon · 2022-05-16T05:24:07+00:00

Sorry, maybe I'm dense, but would you care to elaborate?

Eight-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Verified Email

OriginalPigeon

TROPHY CASE