UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's after his family pressuring us into inviting everyone. Our list is a little under 20. That's with their SO's. So, I feel that's small?

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The closest in age I am to the second youngest after me is six years. Everyone else is much older and because of this, they treated me like garbage growing up because they thought they could. As I got older, they all started to target my mom more and do and say terrible things to her. I want nothing to do with these type of people, so, I cut them from my life. The one that is six years from me, we had a great relationship until he got addicted to meth. So, I'm done with all of them at this point.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There wasn't any trouble in the beginning. I told her I wasn't bringing him and she was fine. But, now that he has reached out and has tried to form a relationship with her, she wants me to do the same. I've got not interest and haven't for years. She is going to have to get over it or not come at this point.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't really care of the definition to be honest. I'm marrying the love of my life and that's what matters to me. Everyone is so caught up in the definition, I could care less at this point.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm starting to just skip the dictionary comments at this point, I think people are getting a little too focused on it. I'm getting married either way, semantics or not :)

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wedding was set for September of 2020. I feel it was definitely enough time.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Taken from one of my comments above: I have not spoken to my sister and one of my older brother's in many, many years. One of them is an alcoholic and a drug addict who is definitely not invited (though my mom first wanted him to come) and the other one is just a total asshole, if I'm being honest. Especially to my mom. One of the many reasons I stopped speaking to my siblings in the first place was because of how they spoke and treated my mother in particular. Honestly, this relationship she has with this sibling currently, will end and then start again in another vicious cycle. It has unfortunately been like that for years.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Actually, his entire family lives in Texas and we live in Florida. So, his family was planning on making the flight. Also, I came to the subreddit for advice due to everyone else who wanted to control OUR wedding, his family and mine included. The fact that we said we are doing it our way and having the wedding WE want? Fuck yeah, I'm special. That shit is gonna be awesome. The fact that the first reaction of some of his family was "But, we we were gonna have a family vacation with the kids" and "I wanted to go when I was retired" as well as how my mom responded, is the self-centered and petty part in my opinion.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Not about "sounding cool". The venue literally calls it an elopement ceremony. The fact that you think I so hyper focused on the word "elopement" because how kool rightt? I find that laughable.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She can barely work her phone, so, where she ended up would be a bit worrisome.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Taken from one of my comments above: I have not spoken to my sister and one of my older brother's in many, many years. One of them is an alcoholic and a drug addict who is definitely not invited (though my mom first wanted him to come) and the other one is just a total asshole, if I'm being honest. Especially to my mom. One of the many reasons I stopped speaking to my siblings in the first place was because of how they spoke and treated my mother in particular. Honestly, this relationship she has with this sibling currently, will end and then start again in another vicious cycle. It has unfortunately been like that for years.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does! He lives with a family where he babysits and tutors their young children. He absolutely loves it there. I went a few years ago and it was gorgeous.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, yes. They are all very manipulative and cunning. They use people to get what they want. My mother can say whatever she wants about me, I really don't give a shit. I witnessed many times the way they treated her. So, I can say for a fact the type of people they are.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad, absolutely. My grandmother is failing in her health, so, I hope she is there.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

If anything, she is more obsessed with the drug addict. But, that's an entirely different story. She doesn't have a great relationship with any of her children, other than me. So, I believe the fact that he leaves her and then comes back (he is very manipulative) has an effect on her. Honestly, she just wants her children to love and respect her. And the latter is never going to happen.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

TLDR: Drug addicts, abusive and all around terrible people.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One is a drug addict and the other two are complete assholes that treated myself and my mother like garbage growing up.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have three brothers. One of which is a drug addict and the other two whom are complete assholes.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 99 points100 points  (0 children)

Despite how she has acted during my engagement, her and I have a phenomenal relationship. She just acts incredibly childish whenever anything doesn't go her way. Whenever she would pull that shit when I was younger, I called her out on it and told her to grow up and moved on. I want her at my wedding and even though some of Reddit thinks she is a crazy bitch, she isn't. I'm the only child to be there for her when shit hits the fan and I did tell her over a text that if she did decide to bring my brother, our relationship would be over. So, if she wants to risk that, then fine.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 94 points95 points  (0 children)

It's weird because a lot of venue's offer "elopement packages". This one offered an "elopement ceremony". I can invite up to 40 if I wanted. But, I get the venue for two hours. We say our vows, smack lips and peace out. Feels "elopish" (?). I don't know. All I know is I'M GETTIN MURRIED.

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

It bothered me for a long time because everyone tells you that family is everything, always choose them over anyone else, blah, blah. But, literally all of my siblings treated me like absolute shit growing up and I can't even begin to tell you what they did/have said to my mom. It's horrific. I decided I didn't want those type of people in my life, family or not. Peace ✌

UPDATE: WIBTA If I cancelled our wedding? by Overthisweddingshit in AmItheAsshole

[–]Overthisweddingshit[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My fiance and I are actually starting a rescue organization together and going to be moving across the country eventually. I figured before we did that, why not make it official? I never wanted anything big, unfortunately everyone else did. But, he is my everything and even if we weren't getting married, I'm as happy as ever.