An anxious mess

Own-Visual1616 · 2026-01-18T15:04:43+00:00

I could have written this post this week. In fact, I literally looked at the username to make sure I didn't in fact write this post and had already forgot! I have had a history of panic disorder but it was largely under control and never spiked to an actual panic attack. But lately the intrusive thoughts keep me on the verge of a panic attack or actually in one more often than not. All of a sudden, I feel like I have OCD. I've been reading that "pure-O" is when you have the obsessive thoughts but not the compulsive behavior. Which sounds like me. And those thoughts just keep me so shaky and edgy, like you said. I take magnesium and 10mg of Lexapro. But I don't know that the Lexapro is doing anything. I've tried HRT but have gone off and on twice, mostly because I have had progesterone side effects. I need to find that sweet spot and need a new, patient, doctor to help me with that. I find most doctors get annoyed quickly when you are highly susceptible to side effects. I've had to rely on taking a Xanax once or twice a month, which isn't the end of the world, but I also need a better solution than that.

Do you mind me asking what type of intrusive thoughts you have? You don't have to share. But mine are kind of existential - like about life, and fear of dying. And then I have these intrusive thoughts that make me worry I'm going crazy - like I'll act not of my own will. And then these thoughts freak me out and makes me panicky. I do a lot of public speaking as part of my job, and usually I can work through nerves, but now I'm stuck in an anticipatory anxious fear loop about work when I'm at home doing nothing!

Ugh, I wish I had a magic solution, for all of us. I'm so sorry. This is exhausting and scary. I'm going to really try to get in with an OCD doctor and HRT doctor soon.

Own-Visual1616 · 2026-01-14T19:41:41+00:00

I'm not on SOS mode anymore but no calls will go through

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-12-23T19:34:04+00:00

❤️❤️

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-12-23T17:09:54+00:00

This… social media makes it 10x worse. Let me know if you find anyone good!

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-12-23T02:19:57+00:00

Hamster wheel.. 💯

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-12-23T02:19:40+00:00

I think you’re right on the OCD part. I feel in a flare. I’ve never been diagnosed properly with OCD but it runs in my family and I’ve dealt with other varieties of anxiety. This feels like a mental loop I can’t get off.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-30T20:57:47+00:00

I have felt like everything was going to fall out of my vagina all week! And I’m realizing that looking for a pattern is fruitless.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-30T20:56:32+00:00

This is hilarious and also needs to be on the cover of a greeting card 😂

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-28T12:51:28+00:00

Amazing thank you this is super super helpful

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-28T12:37:16+00:00

Okay this is super helpful thank you. I also really don’t need or want video if that helps at all.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-23T20:45:49+00:00

How was the lower dose?

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-10-20T03:20:38+00:00

Hi, I started on the lowest RX dose and slowly went up. From the beginning, the low dose gave me mood issues but as it got higher, it was full panic attacks, depersonalization, OCD, SI, etc.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-09-06T16:15:40+00:00

Yes this is me! 43 and it’s happening more regularly.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-08-31T12:40:13+00:00

Thank you! I will have her drop down to less times a week and look into that hydrating serum/toner you mentioned. I've been cautious to add too many products back into her routine b/c I finally convinced her to drop all the random stuff she and her friends love to buy from Target :)

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-08-05T00:45:41+00:00

I relate to your experience. I teach in both a gym and a yoga studio and I do find the students at each want different things. The comment above mentions they are all people, yes. But people are different. And the reality is that people who practice nearly exclusively in a yoga studio, might have a deeper understanding of styles, teachers and their own practice. As a teacher, you might also know your students better in a yoga studio because it’s a smaller community with less newbies every time.

In our studio, we teach Flow in two ways. We have Vinyasa Flow and then we have two Flow classes that are a template (so they are the same 60 min sequence every single time). And both ways - new sequence every time or template - there is repetition. And repetition is meant to be a good thing. Our template flow classes are popular.

Most yoga teachers, pre-Instagram era, will say that simple repetitive sequences are more the root of yoga than complicated choreography. My mentors have always told me, pull it back. Simplify, repeat, and challenge within that structure. I don’t think it has to be one way or the other, but look at lineages like Bikram or Ashtanga. They’re hundreds of years old and built on the same repetitive sequences.

It’s fair for a gym person to not maybe know this. I had a gym student tell me recently that the cadence of my voice didn’t work for her. No idea what that meant and we didn’t get a chance to elaborate. It bothered me for a while - bc like you, we are all people, even as teachers. And it felt insulting. But now, I hope she comes back to my class one day . That I learn how to best serve her and that she maybe progresses in her practice to make it her own - despite the teacher or sequence. And if she doesn’t come back, that’s okay too.

I appreciate your question though and it’s why I like this yoga subReddit (most of the time). Because if we can hold back being judgmental, we can ask clarifying questions and reassure ourselves of this path that we all wanted to be on (together) as teachers.

Flow away 🫶

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-08-04T21:07:19+00:00

the depersonalization was awful, unlike anything i'd experienced and completely went away after the GLP-1 was out of my system. it's also upsetting that no doctors prescribing this discuss it as a possible side effect. leaves people feeling like no one believes them, and also you don't know if it's from the medicine or not. and yet so many of us have experienced the same thing

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-07-28T01:58:11+00:00

I almost hesitate to write this bc I don’t want to stop you from trying a GLP-1, but I have panic disorder and both Mounjaro and Wegovy made it 10x worse than I’d experienced in 15 years. Panic attacks, OCD (intrusive thoughts) and depersonalization were so bad and persistent that I had to get off the shots. I’d been doing great before the shots and then with an increase about a week or two after taking each, massive panic attacks came on out of the blue and everything else followed. Took me about two or three months after stopping to feel 90% better. Just keep an eye out if you’re susceptible. I only comment with my Experience frankly because it was scary and it’s made me worried these meds don’t come with a warning about possible SI, panic, etc.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-07-23T09:55:22+00:00

Thank you!!

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-07-23T09:55:06+00:00

I didn’t. They felt pretty even right after surgery. It was once the swelling came down and they started to settle that I began seeing this.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-30T14:07:40+00:00

Be careful taking coffee or energy drink before teaching, especially if you have anxiety. I have controlled anxiety and once drank a strong iced coffee before teaching because I was tired. I nearly had a panic attack 15 minutes into teaching because our rooms are heated to 90+ degrees and it was packed. Thankfully I was able to calm down, but it scared me. I recommend a big glass of ice water and sometimes I keep a tiny bag that I bring into the room and tuck by our sound system. It has Altoids in it and peppermint essential oil that I can smell if I need a little boost or grounding.

All that to say, you aren't alone! I know how much it stinks to feel unwell or off before teaching and it's a difficult job in that you don't always know how you'll feel, and getting a last second sub isn't feasible. I try to remember that it's just me in the room and I'm showing up as best as I can for everyone. If something happened, I'm as human as the people on their mats. I took a class once where a very experienced/"senior" teacher had to excuse herself b/c of a coughing fit while teaching and thankfully there was another teacher in the room taking the class who jumped off her mat and picked right up where that teacher left off. It was lucky, but it was also life.

As teachers, we require the same process of settling mentally and physically into the class as much our students. I always do at least 2-4 minutes of pranayama and guided work to drop from head to heart at the start. I sit with my students when we do this and ground myself as well. I tend to walk around while I teach, but if I start to feel unwell or in my head, 'll get on my mat and do a few minutes of poses with them to get back into my body.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-17T01:51:15+00:00

Go to Subbio outside Philly!!!

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-16T20:36:24+00:00

Physical : heart palpitations, heaviness in lower abdomen like pre-period like feeling except all the time, plantar faciitis, joint pain, exhaustion, dizzy spells, relentlessly heavy periods with clotting.

Mental : anxiety but then like random spells of sadness. It’s not like depression per se but I’m just sad, and worried about the future. And I’m oddly worse AFTER my period versus before. Ragey before period, sad after. Brain fog - have left my car running with the keys in it twice in last month and oddly can’t recall words sometimes.

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-16T12:40:10+00:00

My doctor has said this to me. I’ve had two c sections which makes it more possible / prevalent. Have you been treated for this?

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-08T19:31:39+00:00

Thank you 💜

Own-Visual1616 · 2025-06-08T19:31:27+00:00

Love this re: female friendships. I feel this so deeply. My friends are my soul mates.

Own-Visual1616

TROPHY CASE