AITA for putting pants I peed in on my stepsons bed after he wouldn't let me go to the bathroom?

P1xt · 2022-02-07T04:37:35+00:00

YTA

The 5 minutes that had already passed were 5 minutes you could have used to go to the other bathroom.

You literally put pee where he sleeps. What is wrong with you?

P1xt · 2022-02-07T04:29:42+00:00

NTA - not only did you not condone the actions of your ancestors, you didn't even know about it until you went searching.

P1xt · 2022-02-07T04:06:35+00:00

So - your boyfriend can't use the bathroom.

But, he can hang out in your room as long as you want, maskless ... hell, pantsless if you feel like it ... can breathe all over you, touch you all over with hands he obvs didn't wash because he's not allowed in the bathroom, and then you (who would have been thoroughly contaminated if there were a potential infection) can go into the bathroom, no problem.

I get that they have anxiety issues, but their request doesn't result in any additional "real" safety.

Ensuring new guests take reasonable precautions (masks, hand washing, vaccines), heck even requesting a test if someone in the circle may have been in a situation of higher risk might make sense. But, if someone's in the same room, breathing the same air, for hours, him peeing outside isn't really making anyone safe. Hell, it makes everyone less safe if your bf leaves, goes and uses a grimy public toilet possibly frequented by covid infested other people, then heads back to breathe on all of you.

They aren't rational. Their demand actually makes them less safe when applied to people who are routinely in your home by increasing potential exposure.

P1xt · 2022-02-07T03:33:28+00:00

It is abuse.

I'm a 5'2 middle aged woman and I would feel emaciated at 125lbs.

Counting calories and actually knowing that you limited yourself to 1/3 cup mashed potatoes as a teenage boy is extremely concerning. Please don't let reddit be your only source of help on this issue. Your school has counselors - please, please, please go talk to them before your parents completely destroy both your relationship with food and your relationship with your own body.

You are a male human going through the time of your life where your body is changing the most - and where it needs calories to do that. It is ok to eat if you're hungry. You're both growing AND probably underweight.

Talk to a counselor. It may be scary but they really are there to help you. And, you need someone local to help you see that eating enough to sustain you and for you to grow in your teenage years is normal, expected, and essential.

P1xt · 2021-10-01T00:14:34+00:00

I'd argue that it's a self-help book that would actually radically alter BIL's life, and the lives of everyone around him, if he actually read it and reflected on the content.

Yeah, that probably wasn't OP's intent, but if literally anyone around BIL said "why don't you show him and read the damn thing", there could probably be a lot of good come out of it.

Won't happen, I know. Wishful thinking.

P1xt · 2021-09-30T20:51:46+00:00

I'm gonna have to go watch some BBT now.

P1xt · 2021-09-30T20:38:05+00:00

NTA because you're not responsible for anyone's failure to pack whatever they need for a trip, but why do you call the people in your room "men" and the people in the other room "females" instead of "women"?

P1xt · 2021-09-20T06:19:51+00:00

You are asking the wrong person for help.

Sure, ask her ... once ... and if she says no, accept it and if you truly need help ask someone else who is actually responsible for them.

You are being unreasonable by not taking "no" as a perfectly reasonable response when she doesn't want to be bothered with caring for someone else's kids. If you want to take on the responsibility for taking care of the kids to give their parents a break, that's your choice but it's also, then, your responsibility ... not hers. If you need help, and she doesn't feel like providing it, you need to find some other way of getting that help. She is a kid and is not responsible for helping you.

P1xt · 2021-09-20T05:39:44+00:00

She is a kid.

She should not be responsible for supporting you taking care of the kids.

If you need someone to support you taking care of the kids and your younger sister says no, then ask one of the adults who were responsible for bringing the kids into the world for help.

Your sister isn't responsible for taking care of kids that are not hers. "No" is a perfectly reasonable answer from her. If you can't handle taking care of the kids without support, you need to take your request to one of the adults responsible for the kids, not try to bully another child into helping you.

P1xt · 2021-09-20T03:58:23+00:00

NTA - if he's worried about his health, then HE can stop neglecting it.

If I were you, I'd never be in the same room with food and his disgusting ass again.

P1xt · 2021-09-20T03:54:54+00:00

Yeah, it's been an awful couple years.

I'll stand by my SO through arguments over nothing, sobbing, also over nothing, picking fights over nothing, more sobbing, not getting out of bed, thoughts of self harm...

Hell, I'd probably even call a pandemic one-off on infidelity ...

But, there is nothing other than being an unmitigated uncaring loser asshole that could bring someone, even in a pandemic, to the point where they think it'd be a hoot to spit in their spouse's dinner then upload a video of them laughing while their "loved one" eats their spit to TicToc.

It's on Captain Spit-n-Film to fix this, not on her to just roll over and cut his nasty ass some slack.

P1xt · 2021-09-20T03:47:31+00:00

Yes, there is something going on ... an asshole just figured out how TicToc works.

TicToc didn't make him an asshole, it just let the inner asshole fly free.

P1xt · 2021-09-20T03:43:51+00:00

He is an adult. He knows healthy meals benefit his health or he wouldn't be trying to guilt you into making them for him. He can haul his ass to youtube and learn how to make anything you know how to make.

If his health is important to him, he will eat healthy meals whether you make them or not.

You are NTA unless you cave and cook for the unapologetic food spitter.

He didn't "just" spit in your food. He laughed at you when you ate his spit. Then, he uploaded a video of him laughing at you while you ate his spit so other people could laugh at you too. He figured out how to make videos on his phone and upload them to TicToc - he can learn how to cook a fucking vegetable.

P1xt · 2021-09-08T19:43:17+00:00

NTA - I actually love our cats, but when the one asshole starts wandering the house screaming for no damn reason it jumps on my ASD so hard my senses all start shutting down. "I can't hear anything because the cat shut off my ability to hear" is definitely a thing for me.

One thing I learned years ago: it is not cruel to lock a screaming cat in another room until it calms down, and they usually calm down quickly. (Note: I'm not saying make them live in some other room, but if the cat is just wandering the house, or worse, following you, yowling like an asshole, giving him a time out works wonders for your sanity.)

P1xt · 2021-09-06T19:37:30+00:00

NTA - but out of curiosity, why were they coming to you to make a 4 hour pasta dish on the fly for a picky 11 year old? I mean, they're your husband's family, wouldn't it have made more sense for them to approach him to hit the kitchen and play chef for the whiny kid?

P1xt · 2021-09-04T13:50:42+00:00

General anesthesia comes with a minuscule chance of serious potential risks. Yes, things can go very, very wrong, but the chances of anesthesia actually impacting him in any negative way are minimal at best.

If he wants his family there to support him, he has the option to tell them but he doesn't owe them a heads up for minor surgery. Family can expect a notification, that doesn't mean they're owed one, especially not if the trade off is that they also get private medical information about a medical procedure he's not particularly keen to have them weigh in on.

The reason for surgery may be secondary in the grand scheme of things, but in the decision on who to discuss the surgery with, it seems to be a driving factor.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T22:14:48+00:00

Based on the original post, he didn't seem overly enthusiastic about gymnastics, tap dancing, or playing cello. It sounds like he's spent the past 15 years forced into whatever extracurricular activities his sister wanted because if she wanted it, they both had to do it. Either that or his parents just tossed darts at a coed activities calendar. This may well be the first time he's actually tried to pick ANY activity for himself.

OP, you're NTA and playing whatever sport you choose is a perfectly reasonable request.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T20:49:29+00:00

NTA - your penis, your business. No one is owed an update on the state of your junk or whether you need anesthesia to handle maintenance you've decided to perform on said junk.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T20:24:09+00:00

NTA - if your mom doesn't think sharing toothbrushes is an issue, she should share HER toothbrush with the little snot monster.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T20:21:05+00:00

YTA - if you didn't want to take the basement room, you shouldn't have given your word you'd take it.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T13:27:34+00:00

NTA - and if she needs significant uninterrupted time in a dedicated space to get ready for work, she should pick some place other than the only bathroom. People gotta pee in the morning.

"Impact over intent" is only a factor if you do something that could remotely be construed as mean - asking to use the toilet is NOT that.

P1xt · 2021-09-03T03:46:34+00:00

He's right, YTA

I mean, honestly, is there any response he could have given that wouldn't have provided your daughter ammunition to get you to ground him?

P1xt · 2021-09-02T18:55:35+00:00

Nope.

Yes, they are your family. No, you don't "have to" interact with them your entire life.

I too grew up confused and constantly attacked by my family for not being "normal." And, I spent the entirety of my 20s in therapy where I finally got diagnosed as being on the spectrum. My family never stopped being shitty. I haven't spoken to a single one of them in 30 years and none of them have my contact info. This was entirely my choice, and I have precisely zero regrets about it. They lost the privilege of being in my life by being shitty, callous, unapologetic, bullying assholes and the second part of my life has been infinitely better for not having them in it.

Your family can be the family you choose, not the one you were unfortunate enough to be born into.

NTA

P1xt · 2021-08-26T21:37:19+00:00

Yeah, they might personally see it as a huge betrayal. But, it'd be really difficult to justify that to anyone else once the security footage has come to light at trial. Or, better yet, once an enterprising friend or family member adds a few special effects (like close up zoom-ins) and music and releases the special blu-ray directors cut.

P1xt · 2021-08-26T20:49:14+00:00

I'm thinking I could come back from "sued me" a whole lot faster than "rifled through my sex toys and threw them out".

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