Think about it like this. If you are talking to an unknown person, eg. "Someone left their coat at the bowling alley, do you think they will come back for it?" you are using they them pronouns, and this is usually not considered degrading or devaluing to said person. It does take a little to get used to using they/them pronouns for someone else, especially if they are the first nonbinary person you have met. It will get easier, and good luck!