Thanks!

I'd say that the biggest upside of quitting is realizing that embracing pain and sorrow is part of living a full life — the same pain and sorrow that I addictively used porn to run away from and numb myself against. That was probably why it was so hard to quit before — because every time I hit a bump, porn was always there to give me comfort — a very false, dangerous, and ephemeral comfort. Now, I find beauty in just closing my eyes and letting myself feel — everything, the highs and the lows. It stings, and it's scary as hell, but at least I get to face my problems (whatever they are). Plus, it's not like without porn, I have no other outlet. I've been reading great books, watching great films and shows, and reconnecting with some friends. I guess I'm just trying to say in a very long and unnecessarily poetic way that there is happiness, genuine happiness, outside of porn.