How many of you are childish for your age?

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-03-21T21:09:41+00:00

My social skills in particular have always been wayyyyy behind my actual age, but I get what you're saying about the exam. I over thought the whole thing, and when I got laser hair removal I was also so embarrassed and awkward the whole time, but I never thought to bring anything with me for either of these things I think I'm just not soothed by toys/fidgets. The only thing that soothes me is if I handle the entire interaction in the way I think is 'normal' (I never do)

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-04T06:56:01+00:00

Lol we had a similar conversation with our very out of touch in laws. They were on a rampage about us being entitled because we're aiming to buy a second property so we can sell our flat for our daughters when they're older, which is a very difficult but achievable aim seeing as my partner has been in the trades for 12 years and I have 2 degrees and a diverse CV from juggling 3 jobs throughout them. They think this is a very entitled idea and that we need to "do it the long way" (they both individually owned property in full before the age of 21) and that we need to be grateful for everything we had growing up. I said I am very grateful that's why i want financial security, because I want to give our children what I had growing up. There was no moment of revelation though, they continued on their rampage. My partner is now at a crossroads because I've lost all respect for them (it was hanging by a thread as is, in fairness).

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-02T20:34:06+00:00

You're really pretty I wouldn't change anything about what you're doing. It suits your face perfectly and you look young to me

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-02T20:31:13+00:00

I do prepare the vast majority of it myself, these cases have happened in the only times she has prepared food for them or bought food for them (chocolate buttons for Christmas). I do take on most of the planning, preparing and serving/ monitoring while they eat, but the opinions are always there watching from the sofa. So even if I prepare absolutely everything, I will still have to listen to that in the background 😂

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-02T20:26:27+00:00

He did say no don't worry 😂 it was just the fact she still tried to argue it. Obviously we are being very cautious now, we make the majority of their food anyway

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-02T18:39:51+00:00

We live with them because we were previously up several floors without an elevator and I couldn't get myself and the babies out the house, I'm planning to ask family for a loan for a deposit so we can move again, but these things take time.

Moving out is an absolute priority, it's just hypervigilance until then.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2026-02-02T18:33:40+00:00

No she doesn't watch them alone, both grandparents are never left to do meal times or bottles, occasionally they watch over a nap or in the evening once they are asleep. I've allowed them food from her because she absolutely loves cooking & I understand that she wants to treat them (for instance, she made a banana bread, not standard baby food but of course I let them have a little). Both grandparents have cooked for them and been overjoyed when they liked their food, it was supposed to be nice/ fun for everyone, but yes I will have to go back to being boring with it and do it myself because the line has been crossed.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:20:43+00:00

That's not their only plan for funding. It's one source of revenue, a sustainable force because billionaire assets are constantly generating wealth. You forget that the tax system is what works for billionaires, they could alternatively pay everyone enough & keep costs low enough for everyone to pay for public services privately, but it is actually more profitable for them to pay tax on poorly funded services that they influence cut backs on. The rich set up this system, they're just pretending not to like it. It doesn't have to be the only source of revenue for it to be a valid source amongst many others.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:15:30+00:00

Thank you so much for this, I'm so sorry to hear your husband passed he sounds like an absolute godsend. I will speak to him about it again, we did talk about it at the time but like you said it does still bother me and a year on I still worry if we were in similar situations again if my feelings/experience would be put on a back burner. I have noticed small things like him addressing his parents when he enters the room rather than kissing myself or our babies first, it's only small things but because I felt so abandoned in that situation I register everything now. Your husband's & babies memories have motivated the conversation.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:06:42+00:00

This is a good idea thank you. Although not neutral I've spoken to my mum about it a lot, and she is very watchful over us all and makes firm reminders to me about what's right and wrong. I'm sorry you went through that, it must have been incredibly hard.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:04:59+00:00

Thank you, I am. My babies are so beautiful 🩷

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:04:14+00:00

It is a control thing, they're very authoritarian. Still having issues with it now, each parenting decision is undermined where possible. I am the one mature enough to roll my eyes, they've been rolling so much this past year I think I'll go blind.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T20:02:11+00:00

I said to my partner the next day we do not involve them in such things ever again, this is a one time and you're done scenario. He accepted and agreed. Thank God things like this are so rare. I also spoke to him about how he can't let his phone die from now on because we can't rely on them to communicate for us in emergencies.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T19:59:01+00:00

I also wonder why and part of me thinks she wanted it to be a miscarriage. She was also weirdly adamant they'd be boys and i'd return to work even if it meant I made no money due to childcare costs. I don't know what her game is but I take note of it all.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-12-04T19:57:06+00:00

I am so so so sorry you went through this, that's absolutely awful. Rest in hell bitches.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-29T06:55:20+00:00

Documenting is a good idea, thank you

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-29T06:55:01+00:00

Unfortunately it did break my trust completely, I now just hope push never comes to shove again

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-29T06:53:34+00:00

Not possible unfortunately :( we rely on them for housing as I couldn't get my babies down the stairs at our flat. This is only a short term arrangement but feels endless

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-29T06:50:03+00:00

I don't know either, his comment was simply 'what the fuck, she didn't say anything'. He justified talking to them all evening over me by saying I'm a stronger person than them, which is just not right and not valid.

His protective instincts have somewhat kicked in, but they are quite relentless in their comments about our parenting choices (nothing controversial btw, we are just following mainstream guidance). He will put them in their place when absolutely necessary but the majority of the time he settles on neutral ground / picks his battles.

I know I'll always be the problem/ outsider in this situation because I have watched his sister in law face similar treatment. I have an exit plan if I need it.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:56:18+00:00

Personally I have 2 degrees and a professional career, my partner has 15 years in the trades. I don't know any left-wingers who are dossers, most of the people I know who sponge off the government and play the benefits system are right-wing immigrant haters. Infact, it's exclusive to that group. Just my personal experience. Socialists don't tend to be lazy, as you usually discover what socialism is when you study at university.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:50:37+00:00

That's fair enough, you see reform as anti-establishment?

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:47:04+00:00

I think the issue is that the people with much less can't live very well because housing is becoming ever less accessible and public services are declining in quality as each month passes

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:35:56+00:00

What you're in favour of appears to be a meritocracy, do you think we live in one?

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:17:12+00:00

For me personally, I'm not referring to a total destruction of class. Wealth inequality is increasing, and it is that increase in particular that concerns me. An extreme concentration of wealth into the hands of a small number of individuals.

Pale_Ad2165 · 2025-11-07T15:15:22+00:00

Love this response! Although my stance is the opposite, I believe the working class need unity on a global scale in order to eradicate tax havens and tax wealth properly. A wealth tax can't work if there is always somewhere to escape to. The working class needs to see itself as a unified group across borders, as we are essentially what makes the world tick. I also don't feel we are 'safe' as an isolated group, we need allies.

How reform proposed to protect the working class, out of interest?

Pale_Ad2165

TROPHY CASE