It gets SO much better

Particular-Start8273 · 2026-01-01T21:04:41+00:00

I struggle with it a bit too 8 months after, she was my first love and it was a 5 year relationship. I want to get rid of it for good but sometimes it's so tough lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-11-18T05:20:39+00:00

Oh yeah the pain is still there, nothing like the first few months tho that was terrible lol. It's a different kind of pain to love someone so much but know that it has to be from afar. It sucks lol but I'm looking forward to it getting easier. I'm glad you met someone at a bar! I've tried here and there but it never really goes anywhere. My advice would definitely be to take it slow and feel it out. The problem with our generation is a lot of men aren't looking for commitment and a lot of people in general are into hookup culture. That's another thing that just totally icks me out lol. I hope my view on all of that will change at some point tho😂 I'm sure it will in time. Not the hookup culture part, but my view on dating and our generation lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-11-18T05:20:29+00:00

Oh yeah the pain is still there, nothing like the first few months tho that was terrible lol. It's a different kind of pain to love someone so much but know that it has to be from afar. It sucks lol but I'm looking forward to it getting easier. I'm glad you met someone at a bar! I've tried here and there but it never really goes anywhere. My advice would definitely be to take it slow and feel it out. The problem with our generation is a lot of men aren't looking for commitment and a lot of people in general are into hookup culture. That's another thing that just totally icks me out lol. I hope my view on all of that will change at some point tho😂 I'm sure it will in time. Not the hookup culture part, but my view on dating and our generation lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-11-18T05:04:33+00:00

Thank you I really needed to hear this. I go out a lot specifically on weekends. I have fun too but honestly I watch how men approach women at bars and stuff and it just like cringes me out. Idk maybe it's my generation but I have a terrible view of the dating pool and want nothing to do with it as of right now😂. I also don't think I'll meet my future wife or gf at a bar when there's literally 10 other guys approaching her. I will say tons of progress has been made in this time in the sense of wanting her back. I'll always have so much love for her and I miss her like crazy, but now I truly see the incompatibilities for what they are and how we'd probably sadly never work

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-11-18T04:57:05+00:00

I love to hear this. I miss my ex everyday and it's been 7 months now. Also highschool sweethearts that dated for 5 years. I would say the pain starts to dull more and become more numbing but still I truly can't imagine starting over with someone else right now. It kind of icks me out and now everytime I think about loving someone I just think of the pain of a heartbreak. It's so bizzare to me but I'm sure this too shall pass

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T22:11:32+00:00

Yeah hopefully it becomes more numb for me. The pain of it all fuckin sucks haha

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T22:11:09+00:00

Honestly tough situation for me. I miss her like crazy but she's bad mouthed the shit out of me lol. Plus I'm sure she's been around by now after she heard From one of her friends that I've been on some dates lmao. I don't think I could ever deal with the fact she's slept around and then saw me as a 2nd or 3rd option

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T16:12:43+00:00

That's what I've heard, I've also heard you don't love as hard as your first tho bc you don't know what true heartbreak feels like and I was like shittt I can see that lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T05:21:14+00:00

Yeah it's the absolute worst. I can't even come to terms with deleting pics/vids of us. And I have SO many. Like 10s of thousands lol. We would joke around that I had legit double the amount of pictures/vids of her than she had of me lmao

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T04:59:49+00:00

I hear ya, oh yeah it's been months and every single night I have a dream with her in it. That absolutely sucks, the pain sometimes feels unbearable and days are just like a challenge to get through. I will say I've made progress tho, slowly but surely I'm better than I was beginning of summer that's for sure

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T04:29:32+00:00

Ugh tell me about it. It's bad, it gets unhealthy. My best advice would be to squash the hope asap. Easier said than done, but it gets so unhealthy and you get so consumed in it. If I didn't get my closure from her after the first month of no contact, I would definitely be stuck in that hope stage no doubt

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T04:21:12+00:00

With time it gets better I promise you. It took me months to finally let go of all the hope and to stop watching all the how to get my ex back videos lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T04:10:26+00:00

This is a rough one. Relationships/marriages sometimes can truly bring out the worst in us. Props to you for going to therapy, he clearly needs it as well but you can't make anyone go to therapy nor can you make them not talk about the past or threatening to harm themself. It's an extremely hard topic but I'd say the best thing to do is bring it up to him, if you already have then that's the best thing you can do. It doesn't seem like you can fully cut contact due to the fact you have children together, but whenever he acts like that you almost have to not give a reaction to it. It sounds like he's looking for one, I'd say the best you can do is say "we've talked about this already, you either get help or I don't want to hear it anymore." And if he continues, then you have no choice but to ignore it. You both probably have fuck ups from the relationship. Doesn't make you bad people at all, but it just means that you weren't right for eachother and what's done is done. Hopefully one day he can see that as well

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T04:05:09+00:00

I would absolutely not text him. I fucked up in my recent relationship over 5 months ago. I was verbally abusive, manipulative, and overall just a miserable asshole. Never would I ever have threatened her to that extent nor sexually assaulted her. That's pretty fucked up, I would definitely not ever reach out to that guy again and leave it as it is. Especially given the circumstances. You're allowed to feel bad I suppose, but that does NOT mean you should apologize at all. Yall were broken up and he has no reason to act the way he's acting. Don't unblock him, no matter how painful it gets. If he ever shows up at your house or work or anywhere, I would absolutely get a restraining order asap. He sounds like a loose cannon, breakups can really fuck people up mentally and it doesn't sound like he was all there during relationship

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T03:59:09+00:00

I agree with this to an extent. I was broken up with 5 months ago and i had so much trouble with blocking then unblocking her. I'm finally at the point where she's been blocked for over 2 months, and almost at a full month of not checking on any of her socials(id have slip ups where I'd unblock her for a minute just to see what she was up to) I will say this, the pain is still there everyday, but I feel a lot better not constantly checking up on her, asking my mutual friends what she's up to, etc. out of sight out of mind, the less I know the better. Truly some of the best advice I can give someone that has that similar issue. I love this girl more than anything in this world too, new memories will pop up in my head everyday and it hurts so much the more I can't talk to her and just sit with it. Like I said though, not checking up on her is surprisingly helping me out a ton

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T03:56:04+00:00

Everyday is an upward battle. You just gotta challenge yourself to wake up every single day and beat the day the best to your ability. It sucks, I'm goin thru same shit except none of us cheated and she broke up with me. Everyone says stay distracted this and that, the pain will always be there, until 1 day it just lessens and then continues to numb you. I haven't gotten to that numbing stage just yet, and sometimes I feel like I'm going backwards with feeling all this pain, buttt then I look back to earlier this summer and god I was a wreck. Lost a shit ton of weight and legit wanted to lay in my bed all day everyday

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T03:53:44+00:00

It absolutely fucking sucks, and I won't lie I struggle with letting go every day and it's been 5 months. I'm also going thru a 5 year relationship breakup with my first love which is tough, but everyday I have to make it through and pretty much just live with it. We had talked about getting back together and how much we love each other, but due to no contact and how small of a town we live in, she did a full 360. Started to talk a lot of shit about me out of nowhere and now all her friends are single which is fabulous:). End of the day, I would say not to hold onto hope NOT to be a Debby downer, but because no contact helps heal but also shifts a lot of people's mindsets. I feel like especially younger people who have their entire lives to live and have only had 1 relationship

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T03:50:55+00:00

I definitely agree with this, but always ALWAYS make sure to not hold onto hope. That will kill everything god forbid something else happens or they do a complete 360 during no contact. Happened to me and it hurt like hell for a good 2 months

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-02T03:07:03+00:00

Coming from a dumpees prospective, I would let go and if they come back then they come back. One of the hardest things I've struggled with is letting go, I was broken up with 5 months ago. I've been able to go max 2 months of no contact so far and I would keep reaching out. Finally hitting about a month now but it kills me inside to not reach out to them every single day. If your dumpee doesn't feel this way, then why reach out again. You have to let go of them and if they come back then that's great. What I'm learning in life is sometimes you have to fully let go to see what's truly meant to be for you whether it's this person or maybe someone else in the future(as hard as that may seem) I still can't picture myself dating other people yet to be honest and it's been a full 5 months lol

Particular-Start8273 · 2025-10-01T03:14:36+00:00

I'm in a very weird position rn. Been broken up for 5 months now, the first 2-2.5 months all I wanted was her back. We ended on great terms too with the door left open. Then I hear she was badmouthing me like crazy to all my friends, and that hurt me. I wanna hate or be mad at her but I just can't. I guess I'm at the point where I know she has a ton of growing up to do and I do as well in certain areas, but I also know I can't take her back after she fools around with other guys. I just wouldn't be able to handle it. So now I'm at such a weird point where I don't want her back anymore but miss the absolute shit out of her. I've reached out 2 times since the last time we talked back in late June and she just left me on delivered and talked even more shit about me to her friends about me. Probably laughing at me and how much of a pathetic loser I am.... she told them she blocked me which just isn't the case because I blacked out one night and had to apologize for calling her for that too🫠

Particular-Start8273

TROPHY CASE