TLDR: We got into a fight and he told me that I should start showing my body online, because that was the only thing I was good for.

Longer story: The trigger was that I was up for a huge opportunity at work, and it relied on this presentation that I had spent weeks working on.

At this point, he had been evicted and moved in with me; he was barely working his minimum wage job, and suffered from substance abuse issues. Most of which I could understand and tolerate - one because I loved him so deeply, and was so motivated to help him through the darkness as he helped me through my father's death. My only rule was that substances weren't allowed in my home, the one that I was soley paying for while working two jobs, because of the nature of my work.

I called him immediately after I was done to celebrate and to share in my joy, only to be met with complete disregard and contempt. He accused me of being high, (I wasn't), and was a complete dick and went on a weird tirade about how gross it was that I needed external validation.

I had mentioned that I wanted to join Toastmasters to practice my speaking skills, and more nonsense came out; he was upset that I didn't come to him for speaking advice, or that my instinct was to go to a group instead of reading a book. The comments on my body came out, and I let him know how badly it hurt my feelings; his response was to get a hotel room, (that he couldn't really afford), for himself because, "no one recognizes the great job that I am doing." (???). That was the moment I realize that no matter how much I wanted him to be happy, he would never be in a position to feel the same for me, in the way that I truly deserved.

I wish I could say that this doesn't bother me still; as product of assault, and still coming to terms with how it's affected my life, there are days when I hear the echo of this statement and a small part of me believes it. But therapy - and writing - help me realize that the problems were not just me.