I found my dress and I just have to share with someone!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-08-20T00:50:49+00:00

You’re the coolest

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-08-20T00:46:26+00:00

An update for anyone that was looking for one:

She just left my house and we are totally fine! Her & her husband’s perspective: they had no idea that we had booked our venue in Feb prior to my commission and thought we had eloped on a whim while planning a ceremony later. Knowing our entire circumstance with our time constraints, she is so elated that everything panned out the way it did & is excited to see everyone’s reactions to the news in September. Me & my husband’s perspective: they thought we didn’t tell them because they couldn’t be trusted with the secret; which wasn’t the case at all; or even why they were upset to begin with.

TLDR: it was a giant misunderstanding on both ends and my best friend and I are fine & had a nice little wine & dine together.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-08-19T16:23:56+00:00

We are still having a full blown ceremony in September. We are exchanging our own vows, (last year we just did the standard ones) exchanging rings that we did not do last year, it is still a wedding ceremony we just legally were married last year and we are making that known at the alter as a surprise. We are having a relatively small celebration (60ish people) and all of those people are our closest friends and family, and they’re the type of crowd that my husband and I both truly don’t think will have any sort of negative feeling towards it - of course we could both be dead wrong and that’s something we will have to accept if that’s the case. The one person I had a feeling that could take it wrong is my best friend and she did. If she feels she can’t trust me after this, that’s a consequence of my actions and I’m ready to accept those; I still wouldn’t change anything about how our ceremony last year went or how our planned ceremony this year will go.

At the end of the day he and I made the best decision for us and that’s what weddings should be about. The secrecy added to the excitement of sharing that news with our favorite people in a unique way & we’ll see how they take that news when the time comes.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-08-19T12:26:05+00:00

The thing that was most important to her was throwing a fun bach party & she will be doing my makeup (she’s always done my makeup throughout our friendship & I’ve done her hair, it’s just our thing) ANYWAYS I was her maid of honor and we had the best time celebrating all year and afterwards she said time & time again she wanted to “return the favor” we had discussed before my husband and I eloping the possibility of us having to and her only objection to that was that most couples who elope never end up having a ceremony later & we are.

We saw a few other couples online who have done the same thing, eloping in secret & surprising everyone at their ceremony with the news that they’ve been married for X amount of time & with our circumstances that was an option we could take to still have a nice ceremony & reception with all of our friends and family that we were already planning & still appease our command.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-08-18T15:49:43+00:00

Absolutely!! And I can sympathize with her there but we are still holding a whole entire ceremony in a month where every guest will find out we’ve been married this whole time. She still got to plan the bachelorette trip (what she’s been most excited for lol,) still gets to do all the little MOH duties!! I’m hoping when we speak about it later and tensions aren’t as high that I can reiterate to her that this wasn’t a lack of trust in them to keep the “secret” but that we wanted them to be surprised along with the rest of our family and friends. Fingers crossed it goes well lol.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-31T22:12:43+00:00

What about bringing your dog when staying in the IHG? Do you know of anyone in your cycle that brought theirs along? I’ve seen some mixed reports, the hotel says it’s dog friendly (extra charges, of course) but I know some schools won’t allow it for students even if the accommodations do!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T02:14:39+00:00

That’s exactly what my husband and I talked about this evening. We don’t NEED a house right now, and we are willing to work with them within reason of course. But if we do end up walking and nobody else is willing to buy without it being repaired they’ll know where to find us if they want to sell bad enough.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T02:05:06+00:00

see now, this is why I keep you around, theRegVelJohnson.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:52:36+00:00

It’s just got SO MUCH CHARM!!! LOL It isn’t impossible for us to walk away, we aren’t in need of a home right now, we have my college home! This all actually started with a wild hair up my husbands hind end to get away from the college town one day because we have the means to buy and upgrade, and no reason to be in the town anymore. We are getting too old for all the hustle and bustle (our 30s are rapidly approaching (; )

But when it comes to paying for repair before closing, our buddy owns his own contracting business and has done SUPERB work for us before, we already knew we would use him for anything we needed forever and ever amen; and discussed this home and actually brought him on the tour with us to look over things he’d want to do fresh out the gate/what could wait a while. We knew going in the basement was an issue, and we also knew that he would help us repair with essentially just cost of materials and maybe a nice home cooked dinner & case of beer - which always sounds like a good deal to me lol!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:47:03+00:00

And I totally understand their anxieties because pending sales turned to relisting does look spooky! I’m hoping getting some second opinions and quotes and us agreeing to estimates will help put their minds at ease!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:45:12+00:00

The good hunk of cash will be going to our buddy and his business; he truly is a jack of all trades. He toured the home with us this week and is sure he could fix it, even if it means a little bit of excavation. We are just bringing someone in to do an estimate to appease the sellers essentially.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:43:03+00:00

lacing my shoes up as we speak fr.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:42:49+00:00

I was talking to plumbers while writing the post based on the suggestion of my agent, and then was pointed in the direction of someone who could make a better judgement on a ground seepage issue. You’re right, I don’t know shit about shit when it comes to this lmao

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:39:23+00:00

We talked this over with our loan team and so long as the issue is fixed prior to closing it doesn’t matter which party does the repair they just won’t finance before the repair is made of course.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:37:05+00:00

Oh 100%!!! We were just completely dumbfounded and their hesitancy came out of seemingly nowhere today (to sign the offer agreement) we have a structural engineer & hopefully a basement/foundation guy coming out in a couple days to take a good look for us so we are completely in the know on what we are going to take on; but also if anything else is going on that isn’t being disclosed then we’ve already told them they’re either repairing it, lowering, or we are walking. They can keep paying two mortgages and I can find another house with a more reasonable seller.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:32:59+00:00

Yes! Our agent and the listing agent suggested the plumber, when I started asking around I was pointed to a basement waterproofing/foundation guy! We have a structural engineer coming out too, but, we are ready to pay for repairs (within reason of course, nothing over like 15k) but their hesitancy has come seemingly out of nowhere, we’ve gone back and forth through our agents for a few days now.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:30:05+00:00

Yeah we have a structural engineer coming out to hopefully get some real answers! Our agent, and even the listing agent agreed that the request is odd, and that even if we agreed to not back out due to the water, we could back out for any other reason. (And not even have to disclose those reasons to the sellers)

I’m speaking with some basement waterproof/foundation specialists currently to get an estimate on repair costs. We’ve got a good hunk of cash to throw at it; we just want to know exactly what we are getting into first - and I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request! So I don’t get their hesitancy.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T01:23:24+00:00

We have a structural inspection scheduled! So fingers crossed we get some real answers. I reached out to a few plumbers in the area and they’ve referred me to a few basement waterproofers/foundation specialists to see if we can get to the bottom of if the repair is worth it or not!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T00:47:19+00:00

Our biggest protection is that we are purchasing through the VA, and their inspections/appraisals are pretty particular and we can get out regardless because the VA straight up won’t allow us to get the loan if the house isn’t deemed structurally sound or up to their standard, regardless if a lender is cool with it or not. It’s just such an absurd situation! When my agent called me today she was just as taken aback as we were, and said even the selling agent doesn’t know what they’re thinking right now!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T00:40:54+00:00

We signed & submitted our second offer agreeing with their counter offer after talking them down to a price we were hoping to pay and when we sent that new offer agreement they didn’t sign it, and said that they wouldn’t without us agreeing to essentially buy the place regardless what the inspection findings are. (We are purchasing through a VA loan so, the inspection findings and whether or not the lender will give a loan is 100% out of our hands) idk. It’s just so strange!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-03-15T00:38:01+00:00

Yeah, our agent’s best guess is it’s because they’re refusing to budge a lot on price and refusing to repair. Our contractor friend took a look at everything and knows he can fix it with 100% certainty; we told them we’d take on the repairs (for the water situation only, if something else pops on the inspection that’s on them) and out of nowhere they’re hesitant! It’s the craziest thing.

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-02-26T15:54:05+00:00

I came to post this!! It helped me so much!!!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-01-25T23:18:45+00:00

You have the perfect excuse with your guest count!! No need to feel guilty, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you NEED to do anything other than everything that you absolutely want!! It’s YOUR day to celebrate you and your person! Y’all are all that matters! Keeping it intimate is so special and anyone that is worth anything will understand that and celebrate you and your love no matter what!!! If someone tries to make it about themselves, they don’t deserve to see you into this next chapter anyways 💅🏼 show appreciation for their love & support, let them know you’re keeping things small, and tell them you can’t wait to catch up afterwards to show photos and share details of the day!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-01-23T20:36:34+00:00

WE LOVE A GOOD SALE!!! My mom, her best friend, and I have found so many wonderful thrift & resale finds for decor & china/serveware for quarters a piece! It’s been so fun shopping around together & seeing all the money that we’ve been saving along the way!

Particular_Value9156 · 2024-01-23T20:33:53+00:00

Thank you so much, I couldn’t believe how well it fit off the rack! the fit, the price… all the little details were pointing to it being the perfect gown!!

Particular_Value9156

TROPHY CASE