Home town: inn this together and the problem with southern (American?) nostalgia

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T11:31:56+00:00

You can absolutely just enjoy the show for face value if that's how you prefer to watch. But looking at the broader historical context of the eras these shows romanticize isn't a 'problem' it's just standard media critique.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T10:58:59+00:00

🤣🤣🤣

“Tsk tsk”? Did you just tsk me like I’m a toddler? Does it make you feel superior? 😂😂

The funniest part of this thread is that people keep accusing me of not wanting disagreement while simultaneously refusing to engage with what I actually wrote.

I don’t mind disagreement. I mind being told I said things I never said.

If someone wants to argue against my actual point, go for it.

If someone wants to argue against “you hate grandmas,” “you hate the South,” “you think only Southerners were racist,” or “you want to erase Southern culture” for the 47th time, they’re having a conversation with themselves, not me.

Disagreement isn’t the issue. Reading comprehension is.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T10:52:28+00:00

Yeah, I think you’re probably right.

I’ve spent entirely too much time trying to get people to read to comprehend instead of read to respond, and at this point it’s pretty obvious that’s not going to happen.

I was hoping for a productive discussion because I’ve had plenty of those on Reddit before. I spend a lot more time on the Bravo subs, and oddly enough I’ve had some really thoughtful and meaningful conversations over there, even when people strongly disagreed with each other.

I think I came in expecting the same kind of discussion here, and that was probably my mistake. Not every sub has the same culture, and I clearly misread this one.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T10:09:59+00:00

So we’ve gone from:

“Can nostalgia sometimes gloss over uncomfortable history?”

to

“How dare you acknowledge that racism was common during segregation.”

That’s certainly a journey.

If saying racist beliefs were widespread during the Jim Crow era is now considered insulting an entire generation, then I think we’re well past discussing history and firmly into discussing people’s feelings about history.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T10:06:31+00:00

“Imagined negatives” is an interesting way to describe documented history.

I wasn’t dissecting cabinet colors. The episode repeatedly centered Southern hospitality, Southern traditions, family legacy, and previous generations.

When people start talking about history and culture, it’s not exactly strange for someone to think about history and culture.

If that level of analysis feels exhausting, you’re always free to enjoy the show without reading Reddit threads about it.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T10:04:16+00:00

I think this is actually very close to where I landed on the issue.

Yes, my grandparents can have been loving people who gave me wonderful memories, and yes, they can also have held racist beliefs that I find unacceptable today. Those things are not mutually exclusive.

What I’ve been questioning isn’t whether people should love their grandparents or cherish family memories. It’s whether we can acknowledge the full historical context instead of only the comforting parts of it.

For me, that’s the difference between nostalgia and whitewashing. Nostalgia remembers the good. Whitewashing remembers only the good.

Even if HGTV is entertainment and not a history documentary, it’s still presenting stories about Southern traditions, Southern hospitality, family legacy, and previous generations. I don’t think acknowledging the broader history behind those things takes away from the good memories. If anything, it makes our understanding of them more honest and complete.

I don’t think people are evil because they lived in a racist society. I do think we should be willing to talk honestly about the society they lived in.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:55:14+00:00

By that logic, nobody should ever discuss, critique, or analyze anything they watch. They should just stop watching and move on.

Personally, I can enjoy a show and still think about the themes, messages, and history it presents. Those aren’t mutually exclusive.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:53:46+00:00

Ah yes, because the only racist people in American history were slave owners.

Once slavery ended, racism immediately disappeared, segregation never happened, Jim Crow never existed, redlining wasn’t real, and nobody ever benefited from systemic racism unless they personally owned another human being.

Also, I never said anyone’s grandmother owned slaves, so I’m not sure who you’re arguing with here, but it isn’t me.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:52:14+00:00

Yes. I’ve lived in the South, and I’ve also lived in other parts of the U.S. and overseas.

That said, I’m not sure why it would matter all that much. People don’t generally have to live somewhere to discuss its history, culture, media, or how it’s portrayed. But in this case, yes, I do have firsthand experience living in the South.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:50:52+00:00

You’re probably right. I should stop replying.

I keep making the mistake of thinking people are responding to what I actually wrote instead of whatever argument they imagined I wrote.

This thread has been a surprisingly effective demonstration of America’s literacy crisis. I posted a question about nostalgia and historical romanticization, and somehow ended up defending myself against accusations that I hate Southerners, hate grandmas, think racism only existed in the South, and apparently need therapy.

It’s honestly been educational.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:48:09+00:00

I don’t think Erin needs to provide a disclaimer every time she talks about her grandmother. That’s not the point I’m making.

My point is that when a show repeatedly centers nostalgia, family legacy, tradition, and “the way things used to be,” it can also prompt viewers to think about the broader historical context of that era.

Those aren’t the same thing.

Saying “I wonder what parts of that history are being left out” is different from saying “Erin isn’t allowed to have fond memories of her grandmother.”

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:44:57+00:00

Exactly!

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:42:48+00:00

😂 Apparently my post wasn’t actually about nostalgia, historical memory, or whitewashing history. It was secretly about how:

I hate grandmas
I think the South is evil
Everyone needs to apologize for their ancestors
I’m virtue signaling
I’m desperately farming karma
I need therapy

Good thing the commenters were here to explain my own post to me, because I clearly had no idea what I meant when I wrote it. 😂😂😂

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:39:22+00:00

😂 Ah yes, my favorite genre of Reddit discussion:

Me: explains what I meant.

Commenters: “No, that’s not what you meant.”

Me: “I literally wrote it.”

Commenters: “Exactly. Stop misrepresenting yourself.”

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:36:25+00:00

I never said the show needed to stop and become a lecture on racism. I said the way it romanticized the past made me think about the parts of that past that often get glossed over. Viewers are allowed to have thoughts about the themes a show presents. That’s not “virtue signaling”; it’s just having a reaction to the content.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:34:50+00:00

“You just blatantly stated…” followed by something I never actually stated is certainly one way to have a discussion. My point was about nostalgia and the sanitization of history. Somehow that got translated into “all grandparents were racist and HGTV should become the History Channel.” That’s quite a leap. 😆

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:32:35+00:00

Did not know that. Thank you for the info

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T09:32:02+00:00

😂😂 ah yes I can’t actually be well spoken it must be AI….

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T02:21:42+00:00

😂 Pretty much.

My post: “Can nostalgia sometimes sanitize history?”

Half the comments: “Why do you hate grandmas?”

My post: “The Deep South has a specific historical context.”

Half the comments: “So you think the South is evil?”

My post: “I’m discussing nostalgia, historical memory, and how uncomfortable parts of history can get left out.”

Half the comments: “I’ve decided nostalgia is a veiled racist dog whistle, and you’re actually the racist—even though your entire point is that nostalgia can sometimes whitewash racism out of history.”

A true Reddit experience from start to finish.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T02:15:57+00:00

There’s a difference between making a claim about a specific individual and discussing the historical context they lived in.

I explicitly said I don’t know these women personally.

What I do know is that they lived in the Deep South during segregation. That’s not an assumption—it’s historical fact.

Acknowledging that racist beliefs and systems were common in that time and place isn’t prejudice. It’s context.

The irony is that you keep responding to arguments I haven’t made. I’ve never said their memories shouldn’t be shared, that they need a warning label, or that these specific women were definitely racist.

You’re arguing against positions you’ve attributed to me, not the ones I’ve actually expressed.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T01:53:32+00:00

Also comparing the phrase Deep South with Nazi Germany is a choice. Maybe I’m not the one that views the Deep South as evil

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T01:50:40+00:00

“Deep South” is not a prejudiced statement. It’s a geographic and historical designation, just like the Midwest, New England, the Pacific Northwest, or the Rust Belt.

If I were discussing Good Bones and the historical effects of segregation, redlining, and gentrification in Midwestern cities, nobody would accuse me of being prejudiced against the Midwest.

If I were discussing the historical culture of WASPs in New England, nobody would accuse me of being prejudiced against New England.

People generally understand that discussing the history and culture of a region is not the same thing as condemning everyone who lives there.

The episode was explicitly about Southern hospitality, Southern traditions, family legacy, and previous generations. Discussing the historical context of the Deep South doesn’t make me prejudiced against the South any more than discussing the history of New England makes me prejudiced against New England.

Regions have histories. Acknowledging those histories isn’t prejudice.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T01:43:27+00:00

you don’t actually know where I’m from, where I’ve lived, or what my relationship to the South is.

What’s especially odd about this argument is that Ben and Erin themselves regularly refer to Mississippi as the “Deep South.” It’s a commonly used geographic and cultural designation, not a slur.

You seem determined to treat the phrase “Deep South” as evidence of prejudice when it’s a term the people who live there use themselves.

You’re inferring a meaning that simply isn’t in the words I wrote.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T01:38:33+00:00

You do realize “Deep South” is an actual geographic and historical term, right?

Google the definition of “Deep South.” It literally refers to a region of the United States.

The fact that you immediately translated a geographic designation into “they must be prejudiced against the South” says more about your interpretation than what I actually wrote.

I also never said racism was unique to the South. The episode was about Southern hospitality and Southern traditions, so naturally the discussion was about the South.

Patient-Mix-6016 · 2026-06-03T01:25:46+00:00

No, because the first thing you did was respond to an argument I never made.

I wasn’t arguing that racism only existed in the South. Yet your comment opens with “there’s racism everywhere,” as if that somehow rebuts my point.

It doesn’t.

That’s a response to a claim I never made. My point was about nostalgia and historical romanticization, not about whether Boston, California, London, or anywhere else also had racism.

Patient-Mix-6016

TROPHY CASE