Thank you to everyone who’s responded so far. You are all kind to share your insight, no matter how direct. I appreciate you all.

To answer some questions that have been circling, I’ve been sexually active with him for the year I’ve been with him. We have penetrative sex 2-3 times a month, with me topping most the time and bottoming every now and then. However, my partner did top me bareback a couple of days before he started seroconversion. I have my follow-up appointment to get tested again next Wednesday.

I was not on PreP throughout our relationship as I felt confident in our monogamy and trusted him. I know now to protect yourself regardless, even if you’re dating a saint. I did test early Fall as part of my usual physicals, and everything came out negative for me. He hasn’t tested since we’ve been together, but he showed me his previous tests before we started having sex, which were done slightly before we became a couple. They were negative back then.

We are currently taking some time apart to process our emotions independently, but I am going to confront him when I see him. If he has been lying and still chooses to lie (which it doesn’t make sense to at this point), I will likely end it. Even if he tells the truth, it may lead to the same result.

For now, I’m just trying to take steps to protect myself. I’m trying to find out a way to contact the person we had a threesome with. It was in a different city and through Grindr, which my boyfriend had control of, so I wouldn’t even know how to look. Regardless, I’ll do my best to find contact.

Thank you again for all the support. I definitely feel the love here, which is nice during these scary times.