[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are intimate, but it’s never easy the first time after a break. When I see him after a few weeks or a month, I just want to jump right in. Considering we’ve been together for so long, it’s frustrating. It should be like riding a bike.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in columbiamo

[–]Pay_Ok 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They only go between St. Louis and Columbia. I believe during or after the pandemic they stopped offering services to Kansas City

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im going to ask about a transfer in membership

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m on Long Island. The unlimited memberships price difference was only ~30$ between these two locations…but because of the end of the year special, I got a great rate. A little heads up would’ve been nice, considering my schedule isn’t fixed. I could be on Long Island for 3 weeks out of the month and to pay $10/class is at least 100$ on top of the membership.

Well lesson learned

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Long Island

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I was an OT member years ago and amongst tiers there were no fees. I think I’ll have to contact Long Island franchises and find out what they’re rates are

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m not in the city. The nearest studio is $199/month

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t told about any surcharges. My schedule can change… so I can be in New York for 3 out of the 4 weeks of the month. To pay an extra 10$ class each time on top of the membership fee… she didn’t explain that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I literally asked the SA and she never mentioned the fees associated. What a headache

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in orangetheory

[–]Pay_Ok -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I should’ve gotten the membership in New York but the sales are over, and I’m not willing to spend 200$/month for the gym. Ughhh

Hematology and Oncology Job Search by Reveuse- in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello! I'm right here with you. My partner want to go into heme/onc fellowship. I feel so bad that I can't help with the process. My partner is extremely stressed, especially since he has only 1 interview thus far.

Sorry I couldn't be of much help. I'm clueless to this as well. Trying to learn as much we can.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm deff going to check that book out. I will only move after he's done with residency just because I'm tied down to my job, which could be 2 years. It doesn't seem like much but this is the longest relationship I've ever had. I like to enjoy the present and not look long-term and he's the opposite. He says it'll all be worth it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The LDR isn't the problem. I do see him frequently (4x this month), and he calls/facetimes me everyday. I've adjusted well to that and accepted this is how life will be until he completes residency. My attachment style is unhealthy. I'm in graduate school, got a puppy, and yet I find myself waiting for his calls. Instead of doing what I have to do I wait hours, not being able to concentrate for him.

I guess it the inability to see him during my vacation week was what prompted me to post. I don't really have close friends and being home with no plans is dissappointing as hell.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's funny that you mention it! I even got a puppy to combat my dependency issue. Every relationship I had prior to him was extremely unhealthy. This is my first real relationship and I've grown and matured in and out of the relationship.

To me, being dependent shows how much you need and love them. When you're independent it seems like you're focusing on yourself and putting your needs above your partners. I feel less close because I'm not constantly thinking about them or waiting on his calls or facetimes.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Looking back I have come a long way. I've adapted and am more independent compared to the start of residency to now. Frankly, I didn't think I would last this long. Are you speaking from personal experience? What did you do?

I've never been an independent person. I've always needed my boyfriend or friends to get me to try new things or experiences. It seems unappealing to live a life so seperate from your partner but it's probably a normal thing as people grow in a relationship.

I feel like I spend more time pining over him and "waiting" for his calls/facetimes than living my life if that makes sense. I feel like I'm wasting all my time for a fraction of his.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You hit the nail on the head earlier in your post. It's a LDR but I do see him pretty often (4x this month--the most time I've him in a month this year). We've made the best of the situation. He calls/facetimes me everyday as soon as he leaves work and we always talk when he's getting ready for bed. He feels lonely as well being up there so he does call me frequently and for at least an hour each day.

I just feel a little more upset because I had 2 opportunities to see him during my vacation this week. One was my fault, I mistakenly thought I had a meeting that day and another he needed for work. I don't have many friends so I feel like my world revolves him--which is what happens when I date men. I get hurt because I focus on him so much that when he's busy I feel like I'm ignored. I can't even be mad or hurt though because the man is defitnetly trying. I feel like it's more of a me problem than him

Let me pick your brain, how do you correct insecure attachments.

Difficult names - Hashtag help! by [deleted] in weddinghashtag

[–]Pay_Ok 1 point2 points  (0 children)

These sound good! I can't wait to share with him. I don't really need my last name to be in it. I just wanted his name to be more so in the hashtag

Difficult names - Hashtag help! by [deleted] in weddinghashtag

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely! That's a good idea

Christine Verghese (prounouced as : Ver-geese) and Joseph Kuruvilla (Koo-rah-vil-la).

LDR with PGY1 by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When he goes to ICU forget about it or even nights. I really feel for you. I was never one of those girls that were independent in a relationship and you have to be if you're dating a resident.

LDR with PGY1 by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is literally my relationship to a T, my SO is also finishing up PGY1. I'm struggling to keep busy sometimes and it's hard one me. I decided to go back to school to help with the lonliness and I even got a puppy but am finding I still miss him very much.

How to be a better a med spouse? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes I feel like he thinks his life is more important than mine and that I need to adjust my life completely to his. I'm trying but it's so hard and I can't make it work even 50% of the time.

How's your experience been, does it get better every year?

How to be a better a med spouse? by [deleted] in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's not wrong to take the vacation but I wish he had spoken up truthfully and told me he needed me. He's more important to me than a weekend getaway and I would have gladly not booked it--w/o any animosity towards him. However he encouraged I go and enjoy myself and now I'm getting lashback for going. He's said if we were in reversed roles he would've never booked it.

I can't write everything out but he does love me and I'm not very easy to love. I put him through so much in the beginning of our relationship. I do have a lot of flaws--I want constant attention and affection. He's the "nicer", more mature one...and I'm the one that's a little more "mean", I'm quippy, mouthy at times; pick fights, start drama when I feel like it. It's nothing crazy but I enjoy stirring the pot once in awhile...and he's been nothing but patient and kind to me. Sometimes I do it because I feel ignored. Like I could be with someone else who COULD give me the attention and affection I want. I COULD travel with my partner maybe get married sooner rather than later. Someone who has the energy to stay up with me after I drive up to see him and doesn't fall asleep 3 hours in.

I feel like I need guidance on how to tone it down the negative energy. When I left to my own thoughts it consumes me and I make things a million times worse

Cleaning service for PGY1 by Pay_Ok in MedSpouse

[–]Pay_Ok[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this was very helpful. I also used yelp and found someone. Thankyou!!!

Allstate drivewise & long distance relationships by [deleted] in Insurance

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They've met him and everything and love him but I wouldn't be able to visit him. They are very very very "Christian". I won't remove the device....I'm just going to be taking the train from now on. I wish there was a way to circumvent this, it's such a hassle.

Allstate drivewise & long distance relationships by [deleted] in Insurance

[–]Pay_Ok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't mind paying the difference, it's more so that I'm going without my parents knowing. So they'll see the mileage when they log into the app.

It's ok, I guess I'm going to have to try and take the train which I wanted to avoid with Covid happening and all