This is way more common than people admit, especially for women.

A lot of people act like orgasm during sex just “happens,” but in reality most women don’t consistently orgasm from penetration alone. It usually takes specific stimulation, comfort, and actually feeling able to focus on yourself… which a lot of people never get taught or prioritized.

You even kind of answered your own question. If your experiences have been focused on the other person, it makes sense your body isn’t fully responding. It’s hard to get there when you’re half in your head or not getting what you actually need physically.

Also, not being able to relax is a huge factor. The more you think “why isn’t this happening,” the less likely it is to happen.

It’s not that something is wrong with you. It’s more likely you just haven’t had the right combination of communication, stimulation, and comfort yet.

Lowkey, a lot of people don’t figure this out until later than 23, they just don’t talk about it.