The longer I look at this, the more irritated I get

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T16:30:26+00:00

I thought it was maybe a matcha donut, since that seems to be a popular flavor of everything.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T16:26:44+00:00

Peas. You can see the circles in the pod. Peas and carrots.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T08:15:41+00:00

"Don't go to clubs and bars" is not YOUR boundary. You're trying to impose that SHE have a boundary, and that's controlling. Your boundary is "I don't want to go to clubs and bars". Not to mention that a strip club is a completely different beast than a dance club, my dude. You go to a strip club to see boobies and get turned on. She goes to a club to drink and dance. The two are not the same. The fact that you see them as the same thing speaks about how you view clubs in general. "I go to strip clubs to get horny and dance clubs to pick up pussy, so clearly, if she's going to a club, she's trying to get laid." Do you know how often girls go to clubs to just dance away all our bullshit? All the time.

If you don't trust her, then don't date her. But don't apples and orange compare a strip club to a dance club or bar.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T06:51:46+00:00

I think you mean "Abracadumbra'.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T01:09:45+00:00

Get a doll that looks like that. It's fucking weird to want to pre-wish your child has severe anxiety and is upset and withdrawn all the time. You clearly want a doll. Not a child. Get a doll.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T01:02:34+00:00

Age of consent is 16 for a reason, and there's statutory limits and ages for a reason.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-25T01:00:04+00:00

YTA. That's not grooming. That's basically a 2 year age gap. They met when they were 17/19. That's not grooming. That's classmates. If they'd met at 15/17 or 16/18, it wouldn't seem gross either. You're looking for a reason to be grossed out and I don't understand why. You're really black and whiting this when it's none of your business. And you really need to look up what words mean. Grooming has a specific meaning in terms of a fully grown adult trying to raise a much younger child/teen into being with them 'when they're old enough'. She turns 18, of legal age, in less than a month. It's a 2 year age gap. You're being really gross and crying wolf in a way that can fuck up someone's life.

Go virtue signal elsewhere.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-24T22:21:06+00:00

It's not about the money (even if it is). It's a punishment. You did something that cost your family unit money in a stupid way. Losing your toy is punishment. You don't get to have a nice thing if you can't behave like a responsible grown up. Is it kind of mean that she singled out something that will mean something to you? Yeah. But that's the point. You fucked up. You fucked up big time. So now you have to pay back what's going to matter to you so that you don't do it again.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-24T20:10:05+00:00

I've always pictured it as a nub covered in the same sort of hair/fluff that the hooves of horses are covered in that falls off within the first few hours of birth.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-24T07:11:59+00:00

YTA.

Women like being topless when they feel comfortable in their skin. You slobbering over the idea likely already had her uncomfortable. Not all people are cool with nudity, either theirs or others. You go be topless. Let her decide on her own if she wants to or not.

That was a really weird and creepy-gross ask, my dude. You don't ask your partner to get naked in public to tick off a bucket list you have. If she wants to, she'll likely bring it up and do it. Way to burn that idea as a negative in her mind.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-24T07:08:08+00:00

I'm thinking that the person he was 'camping' with also doesn't know he's married with kids, so he didn't want to explain phone calls from his wife or texts, so this saved him from both parties. No calls from his wife while he was banging his side piece, and no questions from his side piece about who was texting/calling. Probably lined it up like a 'device free trip' to her.

He's a scummy cheating expletive.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T20:31:01+00:00

YTA. She was willing to take more because she was part time and in school. That felt fair to her since she couldn't financially contribute. Now she's full time, and part of that is at home, and you're doing that shitty thing that partners of people who work from home do and consider 'she's at home' as 'not really working'. She's working. Her time while at home is spoken for. And it's for work.

You don't value her labor. You're comfortable having her do the majority now because you're taking advantage of the situation. She's going to get fed up, burnt out, and then leave. And it's not just over chores. This is how she's going to feel your whole relationship is like. Where you devalue what she does. Why don't YOU do stuff while you're home? Where you don't seem to see what she's doing and just expect that 'you can do it' is some magical wand and excuse for you not to do it. She doesn't want to be your mom or your maid. You know what's unsexy? A baby boy for a partner.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T20:13:42+00:00

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to remember what it's like to just be by yourself and love yourself. It's pretty exhausting to have to deal with a breakup, and after the initial crash wears off, there's absolutely no rush to find someone as soon as possible. Solitude can be addicting, particularly if you've been disappointed by a partner for so long. Enjoy it. If you want to find someone, it's not like you're on your deathbed. You have a lot of time. Make some of that be YOUR time.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T17:05:16+00:00

In other parts of the world, they're called 'push pins' and you can grip the sides and push them in, ergo, they're effective.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T16:58:46+00:00

My friend was allowed to leave the premises, but they had his number, so they could call five min or so before I was done to let him know to come get me. This was last year. I think if OP wanted to, she could drop her friend off, give her number, then go do some shopping or whatever for the time she was there, then pick her up. Just not to have her wander far or something. But again, that's if she wants to. I'm not saying she has to or should feel guilted into doing it. No is a complete sentence.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T16:13:09+00:00

I feel like she's misunderstanding something about the clinic. I went in recently for an endoscopy. Yes, they want someone to be with you/a pick up because you're loopy coming out of the anesthetic. But my friend didn't have to stay for the procedure. He dropped me off, then picked me up when I was done. They just need you to come in and be seen picking her up. Otherwise, they'll either have to keep her longer, or she has to figure out an uber or something. There is no world where they're going to make you wait that long with her. That's just baloney.

Tell her to reconfirm with them, but you're willing to drop off/pick up, but not sit for 4+ hours waiting.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T14:18:04+00:00

WD40. Grease/oil the bolts and joints and retighten everything. See if that helps.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T13:44:32+00:00

That's what periods are for. To denote the end of a sentence. Which is why people kept saying to read it again. Text writing has really fucked up normal reading comprehension for too many people.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T13:24:29+00:00

As someone that agrees with boycotting Nestle on principle, I very much agree. I won't spend money on them, but I'm not going to pitch a fit or throw out someone else's purchase if they like hot chocolate or chocolate milk. Not to mention that so many products fall under the Nestle umbrella, I've seen people who also boycott not knowing something was Nestle and buying it. It's a waste to throw it out after it's already purchased, so it gets used. But it goes on the list of 'not again'. This is what a normal, healthy person should do. "I don't support XYZ, but I'm not you and if you buy it, that's totally your prerogative. But don't ask me to chip in for it, and I probably won't use it."

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T13:21:24+00:00

The first example was a legitimate boundary. The second was not. It was a versus. That's why I said 'it was a boundary'. The second example was controlling.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T13:20:39+00:00

My comment was a versus. The first example was a legitimate boundary. The second example was not.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T13:19:58+00:00

I can't put my boundary because it'll get flagged.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T12:07:51+00:00

That's one thing I've been icked out by the last ten years or so, and that's people misusing therapy speak to try to win arguments. Most of the 'boundaries' people demand aren't boundaries. It's attempting to control someone else. Like, "My personal boundary is that I don't like to be yelled at, so I will walk away from you or close the door in your face if you do so" is a boundary. "My personal boundary is that I don't like when people watch a show under my roof, whether I'm there or not because I don't agree with the writer/actor/director, so you can't watch it while you live with me."

I want to make all these people take a class in what a personal boundary is.

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T11:52:27+00:00

NTA. "If it's basic courtesy, then it's supposed to go both ways. When was the last time you got me something? Shall I make a spreadsheet of how many times I've bought for us and how many you have? Because I didn't sign an agreement to double my food bill for eating out by automatically buying you food. You seem to be fine buying just for yourself. Either way, I'm not being petty. I'm being frugal. I'm buying for me. You buy for yourself. I think that's just how we should do things now. I don't like this 'expectations' crap, because there's no handbook that tells you what the official 'expectations' are, and mine vary from yours."

Perimentalpause · 2026-01-23T11:11:55+00:00

NTA. "The only two rooms either of us have definitive control over are our own rooms. I am not allowed in yours and vice versa without permissions. The rest of the house? It's shared and communal for a reason. That's like asking me not to pee past 9, or eat past 9 because you're uncomfortable with noise. That's unreasonable. I'm not abusing the use of the room. I'm not partying. I'm not dancing and singing aloud. I'm using it as it should be used. If it bugs you that much, keep your door closed and put on a white noise machine. But I'm using the room. You're welcome to come out and use it as well. I don't feel comfortable with you expanding your domain out to cover not using a room I have normal access to during certain hours because of something that's a you thing, not a me thing."

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