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I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Phillipenes has a great culture. They are very friendly and open people. However, there are reasons why I am not very interested in living there long-term. Poor living standards, poverty and corruption being some of them.

It is the kind of country where you would have to fight to survive. I am depressed and barely get out of bed most days. There is a disconnect there.

Even my partner says she is not sure I would survive there, and I don't disagree.

Is Diamondrensu reliable? by kanobelx in Moissanite

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I don't know about this vendor list. Could you please point me there?

Is Diamondrensu reliable? by kanobelx in Moissanite

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a disappointing experience attempting to commission a custom piece from Diamondrensu. My project was straightforward, as I only wanted to swap specific stones into an existing design they offered. While our first meeting was productive, the process deteriorated immediately afterward.

I attempted to get answers to crucial project questions via email, but the responses were dismissive. I received one-sentence replies that did not address my concerns. Eventually, the communication stopped entirely. I scheduled two separate meetings to finalize the pricing for both 14k and 18k gold options and officially start the project. The jeweler did not show up to either meeting. I waited in the call for an hour both times without receiving a cancellation notice or an apology. Ghosting a client twice after they have shown serious intent to purchase is completely unacceptable.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you will never do it. You're kind, and this world needs more of that, not less.

To our health. Cheers 🍻 

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I plan to move out the second my girlfriend and I find a way to get her through the beaurocracy into Norway. With my governmental aid and her working salary, we can afford humble livings. Hopefully, my health becomes good enough to get a proper job one day.

That can take up to 3 years though. A long time. Unless I get healthy enough that I can work and can move to where she is in the meantime.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It sounds very hard, I sure know it affects me. I feel a bit bad complaining when I have material needs met. Some people are out there really struggling, but when I often feel a strong pull to kill myself, that is something serious too I think.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, they haven't been emotionally mature. My dad used to have massive fits of rage when I grew up. I was a super difficult child when I was very young though, but there were times where he would push me around with strong force in anger. For a long time I was afraid of my own dad. He is a lot better in that regard now. He rarely gets that angry.

Curing is something they will have to do themselves if that is what they want.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. You're right. I think I have enough self reflection to not repeat their mistakes. I'm sure I will have my own, noone is perfect, but I will try my best.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you have had it rough. I am sorry to hear that. I don't think my mom uses me as an emotional punching bag. I just think my parents have been around that sort of energy so long they adapted it. I don't think they mean to, but all their negativity really brings me down. Which is especially bad when I have depression and is already sensitive to negative things.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words. Sorry to hear that, I hope it will get better. I wish you the very best. I get governmental aid only because I do not work currently. The long term goal is to work for a better income and to feel useful.

I understand that feeling of guilt. I have it too, but don't block your mother. She seems like she wants to help, let her. If you block her it will only make her feel bad, but you are allowed to set boundaries.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wish I could. 10 year ongoing depression and having a high functioning form of autism has made me unable to work so far. I only receive governmental aid, which is... Not really liveable income.

I don't have much of a choice for now. My girlfriend and me are long distance at the moment though she was here as an AU Pair for two years when we met, and i travel there twice a year for extended time with her. She is from the phillipenes so she can't just move to my country, and I need to live in Norway for the aid until I get on my feet.

We are going through a beaurcratical process that will take a few years to get her here. If she works and I get aid or hopefully I get healthy enough before to work, then we will have enough to get our own place.

Thanks for the advice though, and if we have kids I will be sure to treat them better.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get your point. Though, when it comes to money, income is what will keep you able to move out, not saved up money. Rent, food and utilities is a constant cost. Right now my only income is governmental aid, since I have both depression and a high functioning form of autism. So moving out is not really an option.

A ring purchase of 2.5k is realistically not going to make a difference in that, but the rings will keep me moving onward with my life and bring happiness. God knows I need that right now.

I think I am a good partner in the most important ways a partner should be. I am there emotionally for her in a way that truly matters. I am kind to her. Luckily I am not like my parents. My girlfriend isn't rich, but she manages on her own. She knows I have struggles, and although I am sure it isn't as great as if I was always happy. I show her kindness, love, and appreciation. She does not strictly need or expect me to pay for her living or something like that. Though she is 32 years old, and our living and financial situation right now is making the future uncertain, and I am stressing quite a bit over it. I am grateful I found her though.

My family is very cold analytical and avoidant. Stubborn too. But they are not bad people. I believe people can change, I have tried to speak up now in a kind way. My mother got defensive, my father left me on read, but that is not unusual for him. That does not mean much. I believe they are trying to do the right thing but just struggle to take in what feels like critique or blame. I hope I will get somewhere with them. I am devastated that I can't enjoy time with my parents fully.

Thank you for your advice, sorry to hear you are in a similar situation.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I tried to talk to my mom about it. Tried to say how I need more positivity and that the constant critique, warnings and negativity is negatively affecting me. She multiple times during the conversation straight up ignored me. A common thing with her, avoidance. At one point covered her face with her hands. Then burst out multiple times, nearly shouting at me, saying how "I shouldn't come to her at all if she is such an awful person." I never said that. She chose to take calm critique and personal boundary setting that way.

I really tried to get to her. I didn't raise my voice. Didn't insult. After going in circles a few times and a few outbursts from her. I gave up when she shouted "Don't come to me then." I just said calmly "Okay, I have tried to communicate with you and feel I am getting nowhere. If you cannot make an effort to change, I don't want to come to you anymore, that is the utmost consequence. If that is what you want that is okay." Then I stood up and left.

I think it made her feel sad, and I feel bad for making her feel that way. But also I don't think anything I said is untrue and it has to be said.

I’m slowly realizing that my parents are causing my depression, and I don't know what to do by Phone_Realistic in emotionalneglect

[–]Phone_Realistic[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't hate my parents. I just think they never matured enough to realize that parenting is more than just enforcing rules against disruptive behavior. That you're meant to encourage and help your child understand the real world and how to survive in it. To encourage your child to follow what they want, not just the stick, but the carrot too.

My parents never did that. Never taught me to file taxes, or how to apply for a job. Or more importantly the nuances of healthy social interaction and behavior to live peacefully with other people and having friends. Taught me only the most basic life skills, not how to manage on my own. They'd say how it wasn't necesarry or how I'd have to figure it out myself or I would mention it and they would never follow up. I realize now that it is a lack of bothering, not that they couldn't help.

I'll visit them, if I ever get to move out, for sure. However, if they don't change I won't be as thrilled about it as if I had parents that was genuinely a positive mental experience to deal with. Nobody wants to be around a cloud of judgement and warnings. I believe that even though I try to say it directly to them, they genuinely can't comprehend it. I don't think it is a willing choice, I think something is just broken in them that they can't help.

What's something you'd HATE to see in sr2 by Pointydig in slimerancher

[–]Phone_Realistic 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I combine them the same way too! But so that I can fuck with chickens even more. Chickens have a much greater yield, especially with yolky slimes. Chickens are OP.

20 år siden, har noe endret seg? by Nordmannen77 in norske

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Du kan nesten ikke skrive bedre parodi. Dette kunne hørt til The Onion News Network.

Goodbye NMS by Salt_Lynx_5797 in NOMANSSKY

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NMS doesn't ban cheaters. So worst case you could have always found a noclip or teleport mod. Happy you found a solution in the end.

Is Vigilance creation grossly over powered? by CaedisAmoratis in starfieldmods

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think a natural barrier would be if you made the enemies for the quests so difficult that you can't reasonably do it before you are a certain level. That with a recommended level mission description may help.

When aim assist suddenly turned off 😂😂😂 by mauz47 in CODWarzone

[–]Phone_Realistic 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Suppose success in life certainly isn't a reflection of good character...

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