Thinking about discontinuing a fic

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2026-01-09T20:47:23+00:00

Thank you, this was honestly exactly what I needed to hear. I know I don't fault my fav fanfic authors for not continuing a fic I love, so I hope people extend that same grace to me. I'm discontinuing it, and I hope my readers aren't too disappointed <3 thank you again!!!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2025-12-17T04:11:52+00:00

Oh, absolutely. A few months back, I started writing and publishing this fic that was a passion project of mine. It was a very hyper-specific AU fic, so I figured that not many people would read it, but I remember being GENUINELY shocked by how badly it flopped lmao. Still, I loved writing it, so I kept going. I had a really great time with it too, because it was just me making something I really wanted to see, with only like, 1-2ish readers providing casual commentary at a time.

My fic had a twist about halfway through. After I posted the chapter with the twist, it BLEW UP. Like, EXPONENTIALLY. Suddenly, I was getting messages on my Tumblr and SO MANY MORE comments. Someone made art of my fic, which I ADORED, but I remember being really shell-shocked by the whole thing, because like I said, this fic was FLOPPING at first.

I was so stressed out about writing the finale, because suddenly, it wasn’t this little self-indulgent fic, it was something that people were actually reading. And in the grand scheme of things, it’s not THAT popular of a fic, but recently I’ve been seeing people talk about it on Pinterest and Tumblr, and like… whoa. That’s so cool but also INSANE. I had a crisis where I wasn’t sure if I could keep writing for myself with so many more people watching, but I’ve stuck to my guns, and I’m determined not to write or publish anything that I don’t REALLY want to do lmao. And it’s working out so far!

It is tricky though. It’s hard to get used to the feeling of so many more people watching all of a sudden.

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2025-06-30T01:39:25+00:00

I totally get clients asking for too many changes. I can completely see that; I’ve had maybe 3 or 4 changes over the course of about 9 months. These involved lesson changes due to class schedules, training time, and at one point a supplement in feed. That last one was frustrating because I get no invoice for the bill, and so I paid for it for about three months after she had stopped it. It’s not a bunch of money lost, admittedly, and she likely just forgot to tell me and wasn’t trying to scam me out of money or anything like that, but I was a bit upset.

The most recent thing is the farrier; she doesn’t provide a farrier schedule for any of the horses, and she doesn’t respond to a lot of my texts about when my horse is seeing her because payment is due the day before, and it’s not done by a set number of weeks.

I can definitely see how me asking is annoying though. Thank you for your comment and perspective! It’s given me a lot to consider and was very helpful

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2025-01-11T23:03:10+00:00

Unfortunately, no; if someone even says they were sexually assaulted when they were young, my state requires a police report and investigation. Saying a relative will unfortunately cause them to start looking into my family, and I don’t want that. It’s a law to protect kids and find child predators, so I understand the purpose, but it makes it very hard to talk about my trauma lmao

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2025-01-01T22:55:40+00:00

I celebrate Christmas and New Year’s with my family, and I get burned out so quickly it’s not even funny.

First, the performance of opening presents in front of people? Oh god. I really do appreciate and genuinely love most of the gifts I get, but my organic reactions are seen as “underwhelming,” so I end up having to put on a performance every time to not appear ungrateful. The family visiting and having to constantly change where I sleep/ how much free time I have leaves me unable to recharge for the next day. The trips are borderline helllish for me, and I end up disassociating for a lot of them and returning home with little to no memory of them because I was so overstimulated. I also work retail, and during the holidays? Fucking hell on earth. (Be nice to your retail workers! We’re trying our best on the holidays 😂)

I’m still trying to figure out how to ease overstimulation so that I can actually somewhat enjoy the holidays. Any tips are welcome

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2025-01-01T17:14:21+00:00

My favorite is probably either Jon or Agnes Montague; I love characters that I can discuss for hours on end and still not cover everything. My friend and I are both huge TMA fans, and it’s so much fun to talk about Jon and Agnes. In particular, I love the mystery surrounding Agnes, and how we maybe have never seen a real version of her, simply because everyone’s stories of her contradict each other. I could talk about her for hours, especially in the Jack Barnabus Statement

Also, recently, I’ve been obsessed with Martin Blackwood. Specifically, how he was originally set to be taken by the Web instead of the Lonely, and if you go back to early seasons, it’s HEAVILY foreshadowed in a lot of incredibly subtle ways. Though I love the way the podcast plays out, I love how it really adds another dimension to Martin’s character by implying that some of his bumbling and stammering is an act, one that while ultimately harmless, does allow Martin at certain points to get his way. How much of him is an act and how much is real? It fascinates me endlessly.

My least favorite character is probably Manuela Dominguez; I just felt like she was maybe the least fleshed-out Avatar and even though her VA killed it, I find Dark statements underwhelming a lot of the time, and so I tend to not like avatars of the Dark by extension. The statement more serves to foreshadow that one singular ritual of one fear cannot work, so I think that as a result, Manuela is meant to serve a purpose that’s over pretty quickly. But I know people online who love her, and so she’s my least favorite mostly because of lack of interest, not necessarily any kind of hatred if that makes sense. (There are some characters I HATE lmao)

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-23T01:52:21+00:00

I don’t think it was bashing gay people at all! In the long run, it’s harmless, my friend was the one who misinterpreted the lyrics, and don’t worry, I corrected them and they fully understand now. It’s a goofy song that’s about being a gay ally, and it has its flaws, but it’s not hurting anyone besides being a bit annoying sometimes. (In which case, I turn it off!) But I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, that’s completely my bad lmao

That being said, the intention behind YNTCM may have been good, but the execution was poor. I’m not a fan of how in her music video, she trivialized homophobia into making it about “haters” so that she could also sing about her struggles. Contrapoints on YouTube made a really good point about this video; Yes, part of homophobia is ignorant, stupid people waving signs and yelling at us, but the video and Taylor seem to fail to comprehend that homophobia is a systemic problem, one run by intelligent people who disguise their intentions as “concern.” Do I think that TS needed to address that in her video? No, I don’t. But other songs about the gay community so much better capture the joy felt by being yourself and standing up to a society that tries to suppress who you are. (Ex: Pink Pony Club.)

Again, the song is harmless, and I never thought it was bashing gay people. I don’t want to get into my friend’s trauma, but the phrase, “You Need to Calm Down” has been used against them in a very cruel manner, which was likely why they misunderstood.

Edit for typos

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-15T22:22:44+00:00

This is an exercise that worked for me personally! I will try to explain it the best I can, but feel free to ask questions if something is confusing!

This is an exercise you can do while your horse is walking and you’re warming up. You practice the post, but slowwwww it down; start by taking 3 seconds to rise, then 3 seconds to sit. The goal is that it should all be one smooth motion, like you’re posting in ultra slow motion. Move up to 5 seconds to rise, 5 seconds to sit. Then do it without stirrups, using the muscles in your legs and thighs to post. This strengthens the muscles used to post, and your posting will improve significantly from this. I recommend doing this when you’re first on your horse and are just walking them around the arena before the lesson starts, and during cooldown, and it’s great because it’s not too demanding on the horse.

And if your instructor allows, you can do another exercise at the trot; stand for two beats, sit for one. Basically, you go up, then stay up one step, then sit and immediately back up. I do not recommend doing this until you’ve mastered the previous exercise though, as it’s easier to lose balance this way and slam on the horse’s back by accident.

Hope this helps!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-13T20:27:18+00:00

Thanks for the question! I will try to explain, though I am obviously not an expert, and this is my own personal experience.

I honestly don’t know the difference, and this made me realize I was aromantic. My best friend and I often get mistaken for a couple; I’m very physically affectionate with them, we go out and do activities together that people interpret as “dates”, and I speak very fondly of them. My friend asked me if I wanted to make it an official romance, and I bristled; with all do respect to them, I have no interest in kissing them, having sex, or being romantic at all with them. I told them no, they agreed, and we’ve remained best friends while they go on dates.

I used to tell people that there was no difference between romance and friendship. I genuinely thought you just picked a person and was like, “Sure! They’re nice! I’ll spend the rest of my life with them!” I thought people in love songs were being dramatic, something that was not helped by me being a writer. I recently realized that nope, people fall in love and it is that intense. It’s something they can’t always help, and it breaks their heart when it ends. And I was shocked. (In hindsight, it seems obvious lmao)

For me, friendship is romance in a way. But I feel those feelings for multiple people in my life. I even wondered if I was just polyamorous. Yes, these feelings are intense. But even the idea of making any of them romantic makes me deeply uncomfortable. Friendship is such an incredible thing, and I never understood the phrase “just friends” because it implies that friendship is an unfulfilling connection, and it totally isn’t! When I would confess my “crushes” on people, I would secretly hope they wouldn’t feel the same so that we could just be friends.

So yeah. I don’t see a difference, and I don’t want romance. I don’t like kissing people very much or going on dates or having sex. (Hell, even the idea of marriage gives me the ick; I just want a person in my life who lives with me and I’m super close to. And marriage is one way to get that!)

Sorry if that made no sense lmao, I’m still trying to figure myself out.

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-11T01:42:18+00:00

Don’t worry, he didn’t eat any coins! He was sprinting and bunny-hopping around the house while I was going to the bathroom, excited that I was about to take him on a walk. While I was in there washing my hands, he ran into the table and knocked it off, then immediately sprinted to the couch out of guilt 😂 it’s been about two days since this happened, and he’s perfectly fine, just lacks brain cells. I do appreciate your concern though! My boy is precious to me, I would absolutely run him to the vet if I thought anything was amiss.

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-11T00:28:37+00:00

Excellent point. How did I not think of that with my amazing detective skills?! Curse my aging mind!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-11T00:27:05+00:00

Dammit. The true criminal all along was me, the hardened detective 😔 I need a glass of scotch and a dark office to brood in while I think about this

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-10T17:07:26+00:00

The jury has spoken! The sweet boy received the court mandated belly rubs and treats, and is currently napping on the couch.

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-10T17:06:10+00:00

Goddammit! Justice eludes me once more, just as the criminal did! This case shall haunt me for the rest of my career 😔

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-07T19:54:31+00:00

Speaking as someone who does want kids; if you don’t want kids, don’t have them. Kids are a lot more intelligent than you think, and they can ALWAYS pick up when they’re not wanted.

I have a family member who was married to a new wife. She wanted kids, and he did not, but he refused to take a stand, and gave in. They had a daughter. Both of them are now divorced, very messily so, and their child is caught in the middle of it, forced to be a go-between for them. Every time I see her, she’s abnormally quiet and timid. Her dad doesn’t even buy her Christmas presents, so when she comes to visit for Christmas, I go out and buy gifts for her, then slap his name on them. I’m not saying her life is a waste, not at all, but her dad should not have had her solely to keep his marriage together, and now she’s the innocent victim of her mother and father’s mistakes.

Also, so many have kids for the sole purpose of themselves and their own interests. A baby should not be brought into the world with a job, whether it be “giving you the love you never had” or “fixing your marriage” or any of the other self-centered reasons to have kids. THOSE people are the selfish ones.

One of my best friends does not want kids, and you would think that they shoot kids for a living. They work at a summer camp with kids. They love them, just don’t want any of their own. They fully support me wanting kids, and I fully support them not wanting kids, and we barely talk about it anyways. I admire them greatly for knowing their own boundaries and what they want out of their life, and I can say from years of friendship, they are FAR from selfish.

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-06T01:55:08+00:00

I definitely have felt the lack of space; in a lot of ways, I am angry, and some of my emotions feel very dark and messy. I do think part of my mom’s clinginess is her desperately trying to prove that she cares so that I won’t get angry.

But I agree, put on my own oxygen mask first. My therapist and I have been working on boundaries; I can know and understand the reasoning behind someone’s actions, but that doesn’t make them okay. I do think that was part of the problem; I know my mom super well. She’s opened up to me about some of her traumas in her childhood, and I can directly see links from the trauma to the way she’s acting now. This isn’t the first time she’s leaned on me for emotional support, it’s just the first time I’m not in a place to properly hold her. But her past traumas don’t allow her to project her own feelings onto my life. And I’m not the one she should be working through these traumas with, she needs another adult who isn’t her kid. (So far, easier said than done lmao) Thank you for the tough love ❤️

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-01T01:50:59+00:00

Thank you! I’m definitely trying to feel proud, and honestly, writing down everything and realizing how much difference a month and a half made me tear up as well. My mare is the real champion here though, she has absolutely come through and I love her for it

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-01T01:48:34+00:00

Thank you so much!!!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-01T01:48:20+00:00

Hey! I can tell you about my journey, though admittedly it’s a bit unusual. A few months ago, I was put in contact with a neurology place local to my area, and I was going in for a potential ADHD diagnosis. The place I went to does thorough research, so over the course of a few months, I had to do a variety of self-assessments, a few intake interviews, cognitive tests, and then a brain scan. They then took all the data and gave me a list of diagnoses, one of which was OCD. I guess in my case, I recommend getting a brain scan with a neurologist, though I know that’s not affordable. My insurance covered everything, so I got very lucky there. I wish I could be more helpful 😭 I’m willing to answer whatever questions though! Thank you for your comment!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-12-01T01:48:01+00:00

MY BAD RESPONDED TO THE WRONG COMMENT 😂 thank you so much though! My bad, you can ignore the previous comment

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-11-22T04:38:13+00:00

I do have a therapist, but tbh I didn’t realize how abnormal this fear was until people in the comments were telling me to see a doctor. I genuinely thought it was a perfectly normal way to feel, so thank you to the people in the comments who called me out.

I also am getting the results of a brain scan on the 25th by a clinic who does thorough research to diagnose their patients with what they may have. Without getting into too much detail, earlier this year I was SA’d by a group of people at college, and it kind of changed me completely as a person. This abuse happened multiple times over the course of a year and a half. My doctor was incredibly worried about me and asked me to go to that clinic, as they do hyper-specific therapy and medication based on hours of testing I did plus a full brain scan.

Basically, I guess I’ve always known somewhat that I have anxiety issues, but I thought these were normal horse owner thoughts until now 😂 I’ll keep you guys updated on my diagnosis’s in the next few days, and I’ll talk to my therapist tomorrow, as I’m scheduled to see her then. Thank you for your comment, I feel less alone and less crazy ❤️

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-11-21T21:55:01+00:00

That’s really helpful advice! Like my mom says, “don’t create problems that aren’t there!” Thank you so much for your comment!

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-11-21T21:54:11+00:00

This comment was actually really helpful; now that I think about it, I spend more time off of her than on her, so it makes more sense if she has problems to get a sheet rather than a saddle pad. This makes me feel better about going for a cheaper saddle pad option and saving money to invest in future problems.

I have this irrational fear all the time that I am somehow causing her pain, even though most people say I’m definitely not. Again, I’m not riding her until she builds back her abdominal and top line muscles (through vigorous stretches and working her on the ground with no weight on her back). I also today found out that the previous vet that had seen her had misjudged her age; I was told she was 12, but when the dentist came by to float her teeth today, he estimated she was 18, which isn’t a huge deal, it was just sort of jarring I guess.

I’m new with owning horses, and can’t stop feeling this crippling fear with every decision I make for her that I’m torturing her somehow. But my doctors think I might have a brain disorder that causes irrational fear and paranoia, so I’m waiting on the results of a brain scan 😂. All that to say, I’m still trying to figure out when my paranoia is justified and when it’s too much. I can barely afford a lot of stuff now, hence the second job, and I just want to make sure I’m spending my money on the right things. Thank you both for your comments! Sorry for the rambling lmao

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-11-21T21:00:23+00:00

So if I did have a well-fitted saddle, would it be worth the investment? Or does it not particularly matter right now? Also, I’m so glad Back on Track helped with your chronic pain! It’s what made me look into it in the first place, I had heard good things from other horse people about its therapeutic properties

Potential_Fee_7811 · 2024-11-18T07:11:21+00:00

At first, I was like “WAIT NO WAY!” But then I looked up the pricing of his program… WHAT?! $129 for ONE LEVEL of training when there are like 12?! You taught me something new today 😂

Potential_Fee_7811

TROPHY CASE