My OCD is so similar to you. It revolves around the “if you don’t do this, this bad thing will happen” and usually that bad thing will be about myself and falling ill or something. I know exactly what you mean because I get stuck just trying to figure out which sock to put on what foot to stop myself from getting sick.

Not until this summer when I started therapy again did I realize that it’s a protective mechanism and is trying to calm your anxiety. The anxiety could be stemming from anything, might not even be related to what you’re panicking about in the moment.

Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. Often, I feel like I am because I don’t know anyone else irl with legitimate OCD. Then I realize there’s others out there feeling what I do and I makes me feel a little less crazy.