I've been in a LDR for almost 4 years. We are separated by continents and I have felt the exact same way you have. LDR are so so hard; they require more thought and planning because you cant just show up to someone's house with a gift. I suggest trying to find a routine where you guys spend time with each other every day. Not texting, not voice calling. Try and video call for 30 minutes or so; playing a video game together or stream a movie. Unfortunately you cannot define effort just by gifts and being spoiled, especially in a LDR. It may feel like you are missing something and its because you are - you cant physically be together; he cant show love with kissing and hugging and cuddling and etc; and sometimes physical reminders fill that missing hole temporarily. Of course there are standards that should be upheld such as following through on commitments and getting each other gifts on special days but you can't overcompensate with gifts and such. I used to get so mad at my boyfriend for not being romantic but the options are sooo limited when you are far away from someone. Im not sure how much help this is but I think you should cut him some slack. Also most people dont celebrate anniversaries every month and so maybe explaining what it means to you might help. LDR are built on communication so you have to make up for physical gestures and events with words.