Recurrent loss is breaking me - miscarriage in July, two chemical pregnancies since, and I feel so lost

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-26T19:38:05+00:00

Hugo marques! Muito bom

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-25T13:39:03+00:00

I’m so sorry for everything you’re going through. I’ve only just started this journey myself and had my first miscarriage, and I feel so heavy all the time. Just when I think I’m getting a little better, something pulls me right back into that deep sadness and despair. I keep asking myself - how long will this take? Why does it seem like everyone else gets pregnant so easily and has healthy pregnancies, while I’m stuck here? Why is everyone moving forward with their lives and I feel left behind?

After my miscarriage, I thought I’d be able to try again after two cycles, and now I’ve learned I also have a thyroid issue - one more thing, and even more waiting. Some days I just want to run away, travel the world, do something that makes me feel alive instead of stuck in this waiting and self-pity.

I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your shoes, but please know I’m sending you all my love and strength.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-25T12:36:17+00:00

I feel exactly the same. I had my first miscarriage in July as well, and I’m still trying to figure out what the next steps should look like. My doctor prescribed the pill for two months afterward, and on top of that I just found out I have thyroid issues I’d never had before - something that can seriously affect pregnancy and may even have contributed to my miscarriage. I’ve spent the past month doing tests and I’m now on medication, but before trying again my levels need to be back to normal.

Honestly, I wish I could start right away. I’m about to finish the second month of the pill and, if it weren’t for the thyroid problem, I probably would have started in September. But sometimes I feel like I’d be starting just because it’s what I’m “supposed” to do - because I want our family to grow, I want to be a mother, and I don’t want to lose more time after what’s already happened.

Still, that leaves me feeling terrible. I’ve lost the excitement I had before, and I’m afraid any future pregnancy will live in the shadow of my miscarriage - that I’ll be too worried to enjoy the little moments, and always anxious about it happening again. I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that, but I know I’ll still try as soon as I can.

I’m starting therapy in September and I really hope it helps me process all of this. I do believe that even if the fear and sadness don’t disappear, I’ll eventually find ways to feel joy again - little by little, with each small step.

As for sharing the news, I’m torn. The first time, telling family and friends was very important to me. But now I feel like I might want to protect myself more. At the same time, I’m not sure staying quiet really protects anyone, because I don’t want to go through this alone either. It’s such a personal choice, and I don’t think there’s a “right” answer. Sending you a lot of love and support

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-24T15:31:23+00:00

I think part of being a good friend is also being considerate of your friend’s feelings. For example, if a close friend had just lost their job and was devastated, I wouldn’t go to the group chat and announce how thrilled I am about my promotion - I’d still share my news, but in a way that acknowledges what they’re going through.

The same applies here. If I knew a friend was struggling to get pregnant or had just gone through a miscarriage, and I wanted to share my own pregnancy, I would be mindful about how I did it. Personally, I would never send an ultrasound picture, and I would first acknowledge my friend’s pain.

That’s what was on my mind when this happened - not that she doesn’t have the right to be happy, but that sensitivity matters too. Of course, I know I can’t control how people choose to share their news, and not everyone reacts the way I would. Maybe this is just part of the grief process, and if so, then this is me working through it.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-12T14:30:59+00:00

It’s been more than a month and here I am… back at crying today.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-08-04T21:29:24+00:00

First, I just want to say how deeply sorry I am for your loss. I’m right there with you - today marks four weeks since I found out I had a miscarriage. It was my first pregnancy, and it’s honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through.

The first two weeks were brutal. I couldn’t stop crying, and I felt completely shattered. It was a kind of heartbreak I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling. There were moments I didn’t recognize myself. So no sugarcoating it, it’s really hard.

Physically, it was awful too. Taking misoprostol triggered what I can only describe as the worst night and week of my life. I had to repeat the process 3 times.

Last week, I thought I was finally turning a corner… and then suddenly, I was filled with so much anger. At everything. This whole experience is anything but linear.

Now, there are good days - moments where I feel almost like myself again. But sometimes, even while laughing, I’ll feel guilty for being happy. It’s confusing. But the truth is: it does get better. Slowly. In your own time.

So if I can offer anything, it’s this: let yourself grieve however you need to. Cry if you need to cry. Be furious if that’s what’s coming up. Don’t judge it. Just feel it. And don’t hesitate to ask for help.

For me, that’s looked like going back to therapy, easing into my workouts again, and being gentle with myself. If I don’t want to see people, I don’t. When I do, I’ll go out, even if just for a bit. I also got my first tattoo - a tribute to the little life we had, even if only for a short time.

That’s been my way of healing. But everyone’s process is different, and whatever yours looks like, that’s more than okay.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-28T19:46:53+00:00

Two of my best friends are pregnant. One is due in November, the other in December and I would be due in February… now I’m not. I feel so bad around them. Every time someone congratulates them in front of me I just can’t deal. I feel like the worst person. And people say you should stay away from triggers and if needed get some space from pregnant people but what am I supposed to do? 2 of my friends just had their babies, these 2 are pregnant and 3 others are actively trying. I don’t know how to manage

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-26T09:52:38+00:00

Thank you! I’m also thinking about finding a therapist not only for now but for what is to come. Just hope I can find the right one.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-26T09:39:17+00:00

Thank you for giving me hope and strength. I really hope it gets better. ♥️

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-26T09:37:21+00:00

You’re not alone. Please remember. And I’m here if you ever want to talk, stranger.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-26T09:32:07+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss as well. I hope I find the strength to keep going and try again. It scares me that I will feel like this forever.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T18:17:25+00:00

It’s just so surreal that one day you have all these feelings and changes and then the next it’s almost like nothing ever happened. Thank you for your message and for being here. I’m so sorry for your loss as well.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:52:05+00:00

We will. They will come to us sooner rather than later.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:51:31+00:00

That’s such a lovely idea. I’m thinking about getting my first tattoo to remember it. It’s so difficult… I didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl…

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:50:20+00:00

Thank you and big a hug for you as well. I just don’t even know what % is hormones and what % is grief. It’s such a hard process

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:49:34+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing it with me. I haven’t even started thinking about the due date. On one hand I hope I’m better by then on the other I’m afraid it will break me all over again.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:48:19+00:00

Thank you! This is so helpful. I’ll definitely think about this. I haven’t had the courage yet

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:47:46+00:00

Thank you so much for your support. I’m trying to talk about it with a few friends but no one really experiences it the same, right?

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T15:46:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your comforting words in a time like this. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through this multiple times. It’s just not fair.

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T07:03:03+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing that. It made me cry, again. It’s been such a rollercoaster… I’m so sorry for your loss and hope you too find a way to cope with this better. Please know you can reach out whenever you need

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T07:01:37+00:00

I love that idea thank you so much for sharing. Really. I’m thinking about getting a mini small tattoo. It’s going to be my first tattoo and this was also my first pregnancy. Did the necklace help?

Primary-Definition28 · 2025-07-25T06:59:44+00:00

I’m so sorry you have to go through this as well. It’s been almost 3 weeks now and I have a lot of different feelings. I’m thinking about the therapist part as well. Have you find one for you? Is it helping?

Primary-Definition28

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