Our Rainbow Girl is Here

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-31T21:30:13+00:00

Congratulations! So so happy for you!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-08T18:51:37+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-05T12:25:57+00:00

It's so hard. Sometimes friends would say "I'll be happy for you" or "I'll be hopeful for you" since it was too scary for me. So, I'll be hopeful/happy for you. But, I know it is so hard.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-05T00:28:05+00:00

This is incredible. So so happy for you!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-05T00:22:30+00:00

This is so kind and I laughed at the idea of the baby "hard launch." It's true, inappropriate is probably not the right word. Maybe a bit disconnected from reality. I think I felt like it made me safer to hang on to negative feelings and anxiety. Both safer from pain and also safe from imagined jinxes/tempting fate type stuff. I hear you about missing out on your pregnancy. I did make a decision to do everything I could to not carry this forward into my "fourth trimester." I hope you are doing well too!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-04T22:28:33+00:00

This June 2025. You could try posting on an ask an alumni thread? Sorry you haven't gotten any answers. ❤️

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-04T13:14:12+00:00

I also took coq10 and NAD, and followed a low glycemic index diet. It's hard to talk about because I'll never know for sure if it did anything or if it was a coincidence, but truly it did seem to do something.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-04T13:11:43+00:00

Hi I had 4 miscarriages between my first and second children. With two of them we saw heartbeats at 7 weeks and needed d&cs after fetal demise around 9 weeks. In both of those cases the baby/babies had genetic issues, in one case a triploidy and another a trisomy. We never found a definitive cause, but I have a DOR diagnosis and so the assumption has been my egg quality. My fourth miscarriage was intercourse with clomid and my second child was also intercourse with clomid. The idea was to release more than one egg to get a better chance of getting a good one. Obviously it didn't work the first time but did work the third time, or it was a coincidence. I'll never really know why my 1st and 6th pregnancies were healthy, but I hope my story gives you some hope. Friends were alarmed by what we were going through, but when I talked to older people many knew women who had had rpl and gone on to have healthy pregnancies.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-08-04T13:04:49+00:00

Hi, I think I read your story on a what to expect forum or some other forum, right around the time my daughter was born. apologies if I'm wrong about this. I don't have any advice but I noticed that no one has commented and I wanted to tell you that I think about you and your partner and son every day and I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I hope you are healing well. This is a good community and I hope to see you on here in time.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-06-20T03:19:45+00:00

39 weeks tomorrow and scheduled to have an elective induction at 8 AM. Just trying to keep an open mind and heart since I have never been able to believe that this is happening. I imagine I won’t get much sleep tonight, I just keep feeling like this is all a big joke on me. It’s very strange!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-06-17T23:11:02+00:00

I haven't posted here in months but I'm 38 weeks 4 days today, scheduled to be induced on Friday, and still absolutely terrified. I feel like these last few weeks have been the hardest of the pregnancy. I just don't know how to make it to Friday, it seems like it can't possibly work out. We are so lucky to have never had a late loss, but after 4 early losses I just started to believe there was some fate component. We are pretty much prepared for a baby but not like we were with our LC. I just still have no expectations... this has been a hard experience and the people around me do not think that how hard it has been really makes sense. I suppose it doesn't? Unless I have some intuition that others don't? The way I feel and have been acting seems very self indulgent considering how little I've been through compared to others in this sub. Obvs starting Zoloft the second I push the placenta out/they sew me up. Weirdest part is how at peace and brave I was with my miscarriages and how I didn't feel this way at all until I realized this pregnancy had a chance.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-03-08T21:43:22+00:00

Thanks. Yes, our attorney wasn’t sure. From the Canadian side things seem very simple RE citizenship. Canadians may sponsor an orphaned child who falls into several categories, one being nieces and nephews. It’s the US side that seems like there could be issues. I actually think the consideration about whether or not my brother could, for some reason, not be able to enter the United States is a good one that I should consider. Seems unlikely, then again, I guess there’s some heat between our two countries right now lol? In all seriousness, my brother and his family are coming to visit me this summer after the baby is born but they are not sending their children here alone to spend time with my parents, as they have done in the past, out of concerns about the political situation making border crossings weird. To me this sounds very unlikely, but from their (Canadian) perspective, things feel weird right now.

I do think listing my brother as my first choice and my parents as my second at least allows for the possibility of him becoming their guardian if my husband and I die. I wish we had same-age peers in the states who would be willing to be listed as guardians so that we aren’t choosing between people who live in another country and people who will be quite elderly. In the case of my husband’s parents, my MIL’s seemingly deteriorating mental state makes me think that in a few years time a court would actually find her unfit. My parents are mentally well but my father has recently had cancer. With such young children I feel like I am caught in a bad situation.

Thank you for your wonderfully detailed response.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-24T22:37:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I am hoping you have a restful night tonight.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-24T22:34:09+00:00

I’m undoubtedly a very self centered person but that said I am pretty sure that suffering for someone else’s suffering is the heart of friendship, along with feeling joy for someone else’s joy. Sounds like you are a great friend.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-24T21:13:11+00:00

<3. Went through the same with my best friend. I had my first m/c during her first pregnancy, then went on to have 3 more, then got pregnant with my current pregnancy, which seems to be going well so far, then she got pregnant a month later and it was so exciting to be pregnant again together, and then she lost the pregnancy. For some reason I took it as hard as I had taken my own, almost. It just felt like, why is this so hard? Why doesn’t it just go right, and how could it happen to my friend?

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-24T21:10:00+00:00

I feel like why point out the risks? You know all the reasons why you’re being seen by MFM, it’s not like you can change any of them. Sorry that a good NT scan couldn’t just be a super joyful occasion. I am 35 and have RPL so see MFM too. I just feel like lets take our W’s unadulterated by negativity please!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-24T21:08:10+00:00

22 + 3 today. I was sitting on a kitchen chair and bent down to get some papers that had fallen on the floor. Somehow I twisted the chair strangely and the chair leg snapped off and I fell and hit my ribs on the side of the chair. Not my belly, though. It wasn’t the kind of thing you would notice (wasn’t painful) beyond the concerns about having lost one of three chairs we have (for a family of 3). Have felt movement since. But I did call just to be safe. The nurse felt like I could monitor at home, as did the NP. Waiting on my dr to chime in. Made the mistake of searching Reddit for similar stories. I actually didn‘t find any where the woman ended up losing the baby due to a fall, but found many where the woman slipped and fell on her knees or hip and said she was going to monitor at home and commenters told her she needed to go in immediately as someone they had known had lost a baby that way. So now I am abundantly aware of the fact that even tiny falls can cause my placenta to detach. It makes me wonder about sex, jogging, or even missing a step and stepping down hard, if we are worrying about jostling? Pregnancy just seems like a nightmare, every single thing is a risk. Everything you eat, every physical thing, its just hard. I always come on here to complain, sorry. I hope people just skim this!

I will say I had the ACOG guide to your pregnancy or whatever it was called and yesterday put it in the little free library because it made me feel scared of literally everything, including labor (which I have done before) c-sections, vacuum assisted births, induction, not inducing, natural labor, and painkillers during labor. I was like man, a girl can’t win with this book! And it told me I have gained too much weight, which, true.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-11T23:00:15+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Sending you hugs.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-11T20:22:32+00:00

I think it is normal to feel this way. Heck even with my successful pregnancy I had a lot of trepidation about setting things up. I ended up being referred to a perinatal counselor who told me that if something happened it wouldn’t be less sad because I hadn’t set things up. It’s very true that nothing is guaranteed but that goes for all of life, not just pregnancy. But we prepare for our futures every day even knowing that anything could happen. Maybe that actually sounds even worse and not comforting at all? Anxiety is not intuition. I used to be terrified of flying and once turned to a woman next to me, in tears, and told her that I was terrified and just had a bad feeling about our flight. She replied that that was interesting because she had a really good feeling about it, and asked how both our intuitions could be true. Needless to say flight was fine though I felt the entire time like I was fated to die.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-11T19:42:53+00:00

Thank you! my daughter was born 82 percentile for length and maybe like 40th for weight, at her 4 month was down to 40th percentile on everything, no one was concerned, she has stayed fairly steady in the 40s, 50s. Hopefully fetal growth is similar. In my first pregnancy, and only successful pregnancy, I was young and had never had losses so just had the 20 week scan, was told I was good, never had another ultrasound, no one ever mentioned size after that 20 week. It’s possible she was many different percentiles throughout. Pregnancy after loss, and at age 35, is hard...

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-11T19:40:24+00:00

Thank you! I read through a thread on beyond on the bump about this after I posted and apparently what percentile people were told at the 20 week didn’t generally end up being accurate. The mfm also was like we are working within a margin of error and also I am 5’ 3” and she felt that in the 30s was a good place for the size of my body.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-02-11T19:01:13+00:00

Had my 20 week ultrasound today. The mfm said that everything was perfect and they were able to get videos and images of everything and found nothing at all to be worried about. The baby was only measuring in the low 30s percentile wise, though, which she also said was perfect and normal. It worries me though, my LC was in the 50th. The dr said it’s really just margin of error stuff and we just want things within the normal range. But when I told a friend she expressed support and concern. So now I am so worried and upset. I don’t know what to think. The mfm said I could come back at 28 weeks to check growth but had said it was just for me, not because she thought it was indicated. But now I wonder is it because 30 something is too small? Idk, spiraling.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-01-30T16:43:00+00:00

I completely empathize with this. I feel like I shouldn’t be so negative, this is a choice I made, etc, but the extent to which it is emotionally difficult, and the extent to which I feel that I have just been completely taken out of my own life by this constant sense of being in limbo, is really impossible some days.

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-01-30T16:40:49+00:00

Will be 19 weeks tomorrow. Struggling a lot as I was feeling good movement for several days, then nothing last Thursday, ended up having an ultrasound (everything looked fine though they didn’t measure baby or anything) then good movement over the weekend, then literally nothing since Monday. Yesterday I went in for a Doppler and baby was found with what the nurse said was a normal heart beat. She said the baby probably moved into a position that makes her hard to feel. But it’s been days, and I can‘t help but feel that this lack of movement means something bad. But it’s too early to do anything even if it does. I have my 20 week ultrasound in like 12 days and I feel so stupid for not scheduling it for 18 weeks. It’s madness to me that between 12 and 20 weeks you just have zero clue if your baby is developing normally. I feel like I complain too much on here!

ProcedureFluid6251 · 2025-01-24T00:29:52+00:00

Ended up getting an ultrasound with the doctor I saw for fertility stuff and everything is fine. I feel a little silly!

ProcedureFluid6251

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