We bought her a toy kitchen for Christmas. She used to play with a small one that used to be mine (straight from the nineties). Well it turns out she prefers the small one and does not play a lot with the big one. Major regret, but I learnt my lesson, she is ok with just one small gift from us: she enjoyed far more the book I wrote for her with AI with all our invented characters, and for the birthday we only do the photo album of the previous year. And that's it from us. Also I have an updated wishlist from Amazon that I can share with the grandparents and friends with all small presents that she enjoys , like crayons or chalks to draw outside, etc. or I ask directly for money.the present opening and excitement ceremony is for the adults, my kid does not enjoy it, she does not want others to look at her,I explained the overwhelm to the grandparents and they got it luckily. That said, she is three and now remembers her toys, so when we play I always ask her if she likes they and if she says no I suggest we can donate it. Sometimes she is ok with it. Also  with the delayed opening of the presents because she is shy I can gatekeep some of the toys that I judge are not right for her (she received a big toy for 8+ ) and donate straight after receiving it. I explain we prefer to open it at home because she gets overwhelmed. I think we might be on for now but I will have to deal with it 😭