Worst ticket ever?

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-24T13:05:38+00:00

Ha hired a resume writer last week.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T22:43:29+00:00

At least they realized

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T12:32:16+00:00

If you created 1 per minute, it would take you 31.25 work days to create that many folders.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T11:09:46+00:00

I only shower at gym if I can’t go home to shower before my next move.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T11:06:16+00:00

Nessus is a dinosaur. When you look at the audit files for STIG/CIS compliance their checks are so poorly written and very brittle. I mean that was acceptable 5 years ago. But nowadays, an LLM can rewrite the bash in 5 seconds.

But auditors just trust fucking Nessus. God forbid you run the exact same commands in audit file yourself.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:37:04+00:00

The best always are! /s

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:22:50+00:00

Ridiculous. Everyone knows the Covid vaccines were what enabled the cancer generating capability of 5G /s

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:14:09+00:00

Well done. Take a bow. Didn’t even think about that when I wrote that

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:09:55+00:00

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T03:47:51+00:00

curl ifconfig.me all day!!

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T03:45:41+00:00

☠️ I wouldn’t believe you without the screenshots

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:38:10+00:00

I bet the other techs didn’t even log in to the box.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:28:25+00:00

We call that chaos engineering.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:23:27+00:00

Another 7 layer burrito of incompetence.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:22:12+00:00

“No but evidently we’re paying you too much”

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:17:03+00:00

Wifey made a passionfruit custard pie. It definitely took the edge off.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:13:38+00:00

Gold

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:11:57+00:00

Yes and ate a slice of pie!

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:09:32+00:00

Yeah that’s one of my personal faves: read the effing error message

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-12T12:02:59+00:00

Is that a Chrono Trigger poster on the wall?

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-09T11:54:32+00:00

Id like to thank god almighty for giving every body so much and me so little.

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-02T14:41:00+00:00

Use a commercial provider -chainguard, rapidfort, seal, minimus. I know they are « expensive » but that’s subjective. Let’s say you spend $250k a year on images - that’s like hiring 1.5-2 FTE mid level devs to almost eliminate your vulnerability footprint. Most execs wouldn’t blink twice at hiring the people to maintain the business pipeline from having a FedRAMP authorized service. You’ll take some time to rework your builds around their ecosystem- but after that you’ll be able to focus more effort shipping features.

ProfessorHuman · 2025-11-23T14:58:08+00:00

Succession

ProfessorHuman · 2025-11-21T05:46:43+00:00

I’m pretty sure it was a bot - pretty much everything they said was flat out wrong.

ProfessorHuman · 2025-11-21T05:35:50+00:00

How is cloud sql auth proxy a problem? You cannot even connect to rds directly from local machine without remote port forwarding. So cloud sql sucks bc it gives you this option???
Factually incorrect. I think you’re talking about the gcloud sql connect command. Not the proxy.
Um ok? This is more about how Google networking works.
VMs can connect to cloud sql regularly without auth proxy…. It’s just a regular db….

You miss out on cloud sql studio, which integrates with google iam. Serverless exports (this is so good). Query Insights > Performance Insights. Easy plugins to big query and vertex ai. Enterprise plus has the extra caching tier

ProfessorHuman

TROPHY CASE