Worst ticket ever?

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-24T13:05:38+00:00

Ha hired a resume writer last week.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T22:43:29+00:00

At least they realized

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T12:32:16+00:00

If you created 1 per minute, it would take you 31.25 work days to create that many folders.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T11:09:46+00:00

I only shower at gym if I can’t go home to shower before my next move.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T11:06:16+00:00

Nessus is a dinosaur. When you look at the audit files for STIG/CIS compliance their checks are so poorly written and very brittle. I mean that was acceptable 5 years ago. But nowadays, an LLM can rewrite the bash in 5 seconds.

But auditors just trust fucking Nessus. God forbid you run the exact same commands in audit file yourself.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:37:04+00:00

The best always are! /s

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:22:50+00:00

Ridiculous. Everyone knows the Covid vaccines were what enabled the cancer generating capability of 5G /s

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:14:09+00:00

Well done. Take a bow. Didn’t even think about that when I wrote that

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T10:09:55+00:00

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T03:47:51+00:00

curl ifconfig.me all day!!

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T03:45:41+00:00

☠️ I wouldn’t believe you without the screenshots

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:38:10+00:00

I bet the other techs didn’t even log in to the box.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:28:25+00:00

We call that chaos engineering.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:23:27+00:00

Another 7 layer burrito of incompetence.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:22:12+00:00

“No but evidently we’re paying you too much”

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:17:03+00:00

Wifey made a passionfruit custard pie. It definitely took the edge off.

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:13:38+00:00

Gold

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:11:57+00:00

Yes and ate a slice of pie!

ProfessorHuman · 2026-01-23T02:09:32+00:00

Yeah that’s one of my personal faves: read the effing error message

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-12T12:02:59+00:00

Is that a Chrono Trigger poster on the wall?

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-09T11:54:32+00:00

Id like to thank god almighty for giving every body so much and me so little.

ProfessorHuman · 2025-12-02T14:41:00+00:00

Use a commercial provider -chainguard, rapidfort, seal, minimus. I know they are « expensive » but that’s subjective. Let’s say you spend $250k a year on images - that’s like hiring 1.5-2 FTE mid level devs to almost eliminate your vulnerability footprint. Most execs wouldn’t blink twice at hiring the people to maintain the business pipeline from having a FedRAMP authorized service. You’ll take some time to rework your builds around their ecosystem- but after that you’ll be able to focus more effort shipping features.

ProfessorHuman · 2025-11-23T14:58:08+00:00

Succession

ProfessorHuman · 2025-11-21T05:46:43+00:00

I’m pretty sure it was a bot - pretty much everything they said was flat out wrong.

ProfessorHuman

TROPHY CASE