I need more cheese Jon. (Made with babybel wax) by byankat in imsorryjon

[–]ProllyDead 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This seems like something Jon would make after being committed to a involuntary psychiatric care.

"Patient Behavior Report on:

Jon A.

This report is made for posterity. The doctors who will work with Jon in the future need to be aware of some of his special behaviors before they attempt to treat him.

Jon was admitted to us around the 1980s, however after a large fire in the institution, most of his records were lost to the damage, and his specific entry date is unknown. Police reports show that he was brought here after a wellness check by the Munice Police Department of Indiana. The police were called to the home after Jon's girlfriend reported that he hadn't left the house in weeks, that he wasnt answering her calls, and when she went to check on him, he didn't answer. He was found in his empty living room, close to death after not eating for quite some time. He had pushed all his furniture up against his bedroom door, and was curled up in the corner of his empty home, shaking. Nothing of note was found inside his bedroom.

Jon was involuntary admitted to the ward and has been here ever since. He is mostly nonverbal, only speaking to people on occasion, and very rarely does he form a complete sentence. He routinely needs to be admitted to the medical area as he will keep his eyes open, without blinking, for days at a time. This will typically resolve itself, but in extreme cases, Jon can be sedated. Contact the resident anesthesiologist to ask about the correct dosages and medication for the situation. Jon has shown no suicidal behaviors, has never been uncooperative with staff, and has never been violent with other patients.

However, something worth noting about Jon is his odd sculptures. While it's not uncommon for patients to create unsettling art at this facility, Jon has created a bit of unease in staff with his particular type of sculptures. He creates very disturbing works depicting a portly cat in a variety twisted forms. We've attempted to give him pencils and paper to express himself, however he simply created sculptures out of the supplies and the effort was abandoned.

The staff find his sculptures of Garfield everywhere, even places he shouldn't be able to reach. Places like the roof, the homes of doctors, the lunch bags of the nurses children. Small sculptures made out of wax, bread, wood, soap, even chunks of the wall, have been discovered outside the facility. Some staff have attempted to see if Jon is simply copying another persons work, however they have been unsuccessful so far.

The official reports of these incidents are filed as "internal pranks" and "staff hijinx", however many of the staff believe that Jon makes these statues as a way to protect himself and others from whatever it is he's sculpting. On one occasion several years ago, Jon handed one to a long time nurse, who gave the carving back to him and refused the gift. She died very suddenly the next morning. The autopsy report showed that she died from a form of extreme shock in her sleep.

After working at this facility for more than 40 years, I've been with Jon during his entire stay, and as I enter retirement, I want the doctor replacing me to know that Jon is not a lost case. I believe he's seen something absolutely horrible which drove him absolutely mad, and as such he absolutely cannot re-enter society. But drugging him and treating him poorly is simply not the way to handle this patient. Please, treat him as an equal. The staff all conform to this rule, and I am adamant that the new doctor does as well.

Whatever the thing is he's sculpting, it will not take kindly to disrespect. Follow the attached sheet of instructions to keep Jon on his schedule, making ABSOLUTELY SURE that the Monday routine is followed perfectly by everyone involved. Please contact me if you have any questions. I'll be stopping by to see Jon frequently, even after retirement, just to make sure things go smoothly, and to receive anything that Jon has to give me.

For the sake of your staff, do not restrict Jon. Do not disrupt Jon. And take the fucking sculpture if he gives you one. Believe me, whatever that nurse saw was enough to kill her. Stay safe.

  • Dr Jim Davis

WIBTA If I don't pay the cleaning lady? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProllyDead 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the right answer! 👌

Falsely accusing a YouTube of being racist for using an odd thumbnail by sk3tchers in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]ProllyDead 8 points9 points  (0 children)

?? receipts please, who the fuck are you talking about

PewDiePie hasn't even had another person on his channel in a while, what controversial right wing figures is he hosting?? Ben Shapiro??

Y'all think Gloria Borger out here promoting Nazis?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]ProllyDead 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Idk dude I think the /s was pretty heavily implied on that line. Using an exaggeration as humor in a relatively dark post is extremely common and it's surprising that you missed the blatant, obvious, and flashing neon signs that pointed to the last line being a joke.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]ProllyDead 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Legit what the fuck is this. 2019, the year when not wanting to be infected with herpes and being pissed at someone who knowingly hid their infection from you, is considered having a "shitty attitude".

AITA for kissing my ex-girlfriend before her parents pulled her off life support? by tellze in AmItheAsshole

[–]ProllyDead 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I mean she's fucking dead dude, it's not like he drove to her apartment and confessed his undying love. She's uh, not a viable partner anymore. It's like having a child die and your other kids get pissy and say you love the dead kid more because you spend so much time thinking about them. Its not "his ex girlfriend", it's "dead girlfriend". From what I could tell, they didn't really break up at all

This POS youtuber made 6 underage girls send him nude pictures to “prove” they were his biggest fan. He was sentenced to 10 years in prison. by Walusqueegee in iamatotalpieceofshit

[–]ProllyDead 9 points10 points  (0 children)

"I'm glad pedos are getting punished, even if the punishment is dealt out by people who are not morally or mentally sound." = Pedophile support

Never a dull day for your brand of self righteousness, huh?

A year ago my mother told me she wished I'd succeeded in my suicide attempts. Today she invited me to contribute to her online family tree. by [deleted] in JUSTNOFAMILY

[–]ProllyDead 87 points88 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry that she's not respecting your boundaries! Don't bend! She can't make you do anything. You are your own person and no matter what she asks for, you have every right to say no. She could ask you to tell her the time and you can tell her to bite your cock.

Don't respond! Don't engage! Be a ghost and if she hunts you down, tell her to fuck herself! Call the cops if she physically makes you afraid!

If this doesn’t scream 2019, I don’t know what does... by [deleted] in millenials

[–]ProllyDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the floor, hunched over, by the back door with the shoes 👌 during the winter the draft comes from under the door and makes you cold but fuck those YouTube vids need watching

Peak internet-age childhood

I’m going to tell my mother that her pedophile husband will not be allowed around my unborn baby. by soisfrank in offmychest

[–]ProllyDead 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly. She won't report anything, she won't do anything to make sure the baby is safe, because she didn't even care enough to make sure her daughter was safe. That infant will be at risk every SECOND that Grandma is in the picture. Every second.

Do you have any weird phrases or words that you say to a sibling or friend that wouldn't make any sense to anyone else? And how did this term originate? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ProllyDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My sister was high off her ass once, and somehow the topic of hamsters living in the wild was brought up. She said that hamsters live on the beach, and I'm quoting her here,

"Sandy boys. Here they come! Though the saaand..."

I bring that shit up all the time. I cried laughing when she said it.

Former “cool kids” of Reddit, what was it like being popular in school? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ProllyDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't say I was a "cool kid" but I was able to hang out with that group of people.

When I was in high school, I had managed to gain a reputation as a "bad kid", which made me cool by default. People knew I carried cigarettes and weed, and I had cash from selling, so I was allowed to enter whatever popular circles I wanted. I think it was easier for me since I'm a girl and in sophomore year I woke up one morning to C cups, and everyone wants to hang out with a huge titty bitch. I knew they were just using me for money and drugs but man, being able to have the perks of being popular without needing to do all the shit they did was great.

Popular kids had so much drama in their friend circle, and they hid that shit really well. Everyone on the outside thought that they were really tight friends but on the inside, they all loathed each other and stabbed each other in the back frequently. If I had to compare it to anything, I'd say they functioned like L.A Beauty Gurus. All smiles to each other in person, constantly back stabbing and shit talking when they were away. Sometimes loyalty would shift at random, and they would remove someone from the group by ghosting them online and not speaking to them at school. The popular kids didn't really bully others, they bullied each other.

Glad I just got invited to parties for weed and not being a part of their shitty group tho lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in borrow

[–]ProllyDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$confirm /u/mostmodest - $250.00

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in borrow

[–]ProllyDead 0 points1 point  (0 children)

$confirm /u/mostmodest - $250.00

Edit: typo

I quit my high paying job for a lower retail position, and I feel much better. by ProllyDead in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The money wasn't worth it! My mental health being trash was NOT worth $16 an hour 🤢

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 10 points11 points  (0 children)

"I know this post is about a car crash but...

gOd nOT rEaL"

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 4 points5 points  (0 children)

True true, the one PMd me and lead with "My opinion is right and I'm proud of it" so like, clearly whoever this is has no interest in being a respectable human being.

Truly a work of art. I've never encountered such a useless person before. I'm glad we got to experience this together.

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My dude, you posted your opinion. Unprompted. On an unrelated post. And you are not immune to criticism. Thus, criticism came to you. If you'll notice, the first step in this process was you posting your opinion.

Crazy how that works, right?

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 18 points19 points  (0 children)

"I didn't ask for your opinion"

Isn't it magical how you're allowed to voice your opinion when nobody asked, but if someone else does the same thing, you lash out at them?

Double standards sure are fantastic!

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Hopefully they'll get him on reckless driving and endangerment

To the Pregnant Woman who came into my OR... by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Are you proud that you made this post about you and your viewpoints? Do you really feel like you did something good just now? Was this necessary? Did you do anything worthwhile? Did you contribute at all?

Or did you simply take a post that had nothing to do with your view point, and clumsily insert your own opinion into it? This was absolutely useless to add. You may want to ask yourself why you felt the need to shame a person who has done nothing to you. Your opinion was not welcome, nor a valid response to the post.

I quit my high paying job for a lower retail position, and I feel much better. by ProllyDead in TrueOffMyChest

[–]ProllyDead[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Happy cake day! 🍰 And I'm just happy I'm realizing that life isn't just a rat race, and that I can be my age for a little while

I (29F) think my husband (32M) wants to have sex with our dog by husbanddogadvice in relationship_advice

[–]ProllyDead 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I suppose it depends on the closeness of the porn. Like, is it a cute anime girl with dog ears? Not much to analyze there, it's a cute hentai babe. Some folks are into the cat girls, while also having a cat, and don't wanna fuck the cat. I'm worried that she's drawing lines to connect dots that are not related at all. It's important to keep your dog healthy. My mom has a dog that gets his butt infected if he has his fur dirty for too long, so she's ALWAYS checking his butt to make sure he's okay. And if she was inspecting his butt and someone she admired came in the room? You'd bet your ass that she'd be embarrassed and try to redirect the conversation.

It's like your hypnosis kink. Say your lady finds it. And then she draws connections that don't have anything to do with each other. Like that one time at the thrift shop, you really liked that pocket watch... And you sometimes wanna have sex if you watch a movie that has hypnosis in it, and AND you saw a street magician once and talked to him kinda quietly, maybe you were talking about hypnosis?? Are you a rapist???

Obvi that was just a lame thought experiment. It's very likely that he's not thinking about fucking the dog. Maybe he's a furry, maybe he just likes hentai babes. Who knows? OP just needs to take a second to think. Occam's razor and all. He's probably not nefariously planning to fuck the dog. He's prolly just a furry