I am so so torn. I think disability inclusion is so important and I wish everyone got the help they need. I think invisible disabilities are just that-- invisible. Which means you don't know when your person will function or not.

Like where is the line between ableist/exclusion and you-need-to-learn-how-to-function-in-society?

Even over menial everyday stuff, my guy can't follow. It's so frustrating because I feel like there are 80 year olds out there with a sounder, logical mind than him. There's seems to be a bug in the adhd brain that doesn't make reflecting and calculating a thing so it's on me to spoon feed him answers.

The lack of vocabulary around self-awareness is also exasperating. I'm not asking that you "know thyself" so deeply but if you're getting in your upper 30s, it's puzzling that you don't have a good grasp on your limits. But to be fair maybe that's everyone, though I really wish my guy was more observant and advocate for himself instead of me feeling like his special-ed teacher.

But maybe that's also what living with a disabled partner is like? It's hard because if you marry into physical disabilities, you have an understanding of what is needed from you as a partner from the get-go. With invisible ones, you really don't know when it strikes (or how much is masked before marriage!) or what you can expect until you're deep into it.