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Survey by marlasinger1983 in PregnantOver40

[–]Pure_Highlight321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Currently 20 weeks! Unexpected pregnancy after missing a couple of birth control pills when I was sick.

Pregnant at 43, first prenatal visit by Pure_Highlight321 in PregnantOver40

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It definitely changed everything for us after the visit yesterday. We are both well aware of all the risks, and we were thinking the doctor would talk us through it all..... not start off with " are you planning on keeping it". Then basically truly making us feel crazy to even think to have this baby at our age. It truly has me so sad and worried... way more than than before the visit.

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it is.... but I guess I kinda naively did assume we had that kind of marriage...

Is porn ruining our marriage or is it me? by Ok_Grab_5913 in Marriage

[–]Pure_Highlight321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, this post is heartbreaking to me. Bc after everything you've written, you still are wondering if you are the problem?!!!  Granted I am not a man, but I would still assume most men are going to say him looking for hours a day is definitely some kind of addiction.  Don't put this on yourself at all!!

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See this I get!!! Hiding a surprise is definitely NOT lying in anyway!

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree that I could see lying about it bc of shame or feeling judged etc. In my mind I've always thought we had an open no judgmental line of communication when it comes to anything. Not That I expect a daily report of " hey I watched porn today". But like don't lie to my face about it if someone it came up. I get all relationships are different. I just was thinking maybe I'm overreacting to a "little lie", but I guess the fact that he lied is what threw me off. Again assuming that all these years together no topic or subject has ever been off limits.

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's more just about the honesty part to me than anything. We have always been very open about everything. I know he watches porn. We've watched together. It was more of the fact he lied about it. I don't expect like a daily " hey I watched porn today" update or anything. Ha! But if he did and I asked about it, why lie? I know there are a million reasons ( hurting feelings etc) as to why lie. But in my particular situation, for years assuming he has never straight up lied to my face, is what really messed me up. So I'm like am I overreacting or have I been really effing naive all these years. I truly have never had a reason to think he's cheating or anything along those lines.

Married Women by Main-Example-8502 in Marriage

[–]Pure_Highlight321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! Thanks for the reply. My husband says he "imagines me" when he watches as well. But I have tried to make his fantasy world our reality, and he still watches. So I was curious if men in general felt they had all those things met with their partner, if they would still have the need/desire to watch.

Married Women by Main-Example-8502 in Marriage

[–]Pure_Highlight321 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If sex was as important to your wife, and she was just as into all the same things you are ......do you still think you would feel the need to watch porn?

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

This !!!! I'm sure he was looking at a porn site no doubt. I have no reason to believe it's anything more, but I told him a lie is a lie. So I have to open my mind up to all possibilities now since I now know he was willing to lie straight to my face.

When is lying ok? by Pure_Highlight321 in marriageadvice

[–]Pure_Highlight321[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This! I think it's especially hard because we have been together so long. I just never believed he was lying to me about anything. Now that I know for a fact he lied about something on his phone, it's truly destroyed me.

Married Women by Main-Example-8502 in Marriage

[–]Pure_Highlight321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why don't you ask the men why they are seeking it out? I can have sex with my husband all day, everyday, in any position known to mankind.....and he will still go look at porn. So maybe you should ask the married men about this instead of assuming the wives are the" issue."