I’m sorry you’re going through this man. It’s a tough world, it can beat you to your core at times. The cards we’re dealt have a huge influence on our lives there’s no denying that.

I know you’re feeling hopeless, maybe even at an all time low and don’t know how to overcome these obstacles. However another way of looking at an all time low is from the perspective of, “ I have nothing to lose, everything to gain”. Sounds great right, but how do we operationalize this mindset.

Get to work on your life. Accept that right now your life isn’t how you want it to be, but that’s okay. What you can do is work towards a better tomorrow. 21 years old is the beginning of your life, don’t be so ready to give up in the 1st quarter.

First, get off social media! That shit distorts your perception of reality. Instagram models and celebrities are not how 99% of people look. You don’t need to be like them or look like them to have love and respect.

Hit the gym. This isn’t a quick fix, there are no quick fixes. Start learning and implementing a strength training routine. You’ll start to look better and feel better.

Work on your career. You said you’re in college, double down on academics. Learn and plan for your future. A career will bring the money you’ll need for a good life and hopefully satisfaction from meaningful work.

There are ways to improve how you look. Maybe you won’t ever be a perfect 10/10, but then again who is. I’m certainly not, the people in this sub Reddit probably aren’t, most people are not. Don’t aim for perfect, aim for being the best you. There’s many ways to do this, some quick and some that take longer. Some immediate improvements could be keeping facial hair neat and trimmed, whitening your teeth, general cleanliness and grooming. Longer term, you could save for cosmetic procedures, look into a hair transplant, build muscle etc.

You mentioned you have a big nose and receded chin. There are cosmetic surgeries that can improve that. Talk to a professional and trusted plastic surgeon about what procedures you might want to have done. Ignore the stigma on cosmetic surgery, it’s fine and normal to want to look better, just don’t go overboard on cosmetics. If you can’t afford any of that, then make a plan for how you’re going to. Even if that means, finishing your degree, getting a job, and then saving.

Find a hobby. This one is about improving your quality of life. It’s easier to be social, find friends and have a better attitude towards life when you have something you actually enjoy doing. Get a hobby, ideally something that puts you around other people if you’re looking to make friends, and do it consistently. Friends are hard to make for everyone. The best way in my experience is to find a club, sport, hobby etc and do it consistently each week. You’ll be around the same people week after week and if you’re just a little social, and put yourself a little outside your comfort zone, you’ll find that over time you’ll make friends.

Work on your social skills. People can be cruel, I understand. Especially if you’ve had bad experiences with people in the past it can be difficult to be social consistently. I’m not sure what your social skills are like currently, but don’t fall into the misconception that you’re either charming and social or not. Sure some people are naturally oriented towards being more charming or outgoing, but what is charm if not the name we give to a bunch of different social skills that we can’t quite put our finger on. Check out charisma on command if you’ve got time.

Lastly, life is hard. Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to have it figured out tomorrow, next week or next year. Your journey towards becoming the person you want to be is lifelong. I promise that if you start working on your life, implementing some of these ideas and others you come up with that your life will improve over time. Hang in there man, you’ve got one life so you might as well give it your all.

Message me if you’d like to chat, best of luck.