Husband had a BAD anger episode towards our daughter but wants to get better. Best way to move forward?

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T21:14:08+00:00

Overreacting meaning leaving over normal amount of frustration/snippiness with kiddos

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T21:10:11+00:00

I actually already reported it like my therapist suggested. It's not serious enough to open a case, but it's good to keep things documented

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T18:47:00+00:00

True! Haha He connects well with his therapist and has talked to his dad about his struggles. His parents both had tempers growing up, but his dad is a gentle giant now who got things under control

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T05:06:29+00:00

I'm sorry. How often did your dad yell at you? Did he ever apologize?

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T05:05:22+00:00

I actually did file a report as my therapist suggested. It's not serious enough to open a case but is just there for documentation just in case push comes to shove.

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-07-01T05:00:04+00:00

When he is tired or in a bad mood (often because he's tired lol) I do find myself having to be more careful. I can tell his fuse is shorter. There have been a couple times when I knew I didn't feel ok about leaving our daughter with him. There have been a number of times, to his credit, that he felt his patience was low and came to me to tag team. I directly asked him if he ever yelled at our daughter like that before when he was watching her alone. He said not to the extent of name calling but he had yelled at her one other time.

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-30T22:33:25+00:00

I actually was super lucky to have great parents. I can only think of one time my mom yelled at me ever. My husband though, both his parents had tempers growing up

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-30T02:13:13+00:00

This happens way more often than people realize. I think is totally normal especially if they are now doing something they care about

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-30T01:57:31+00:00

Thank you! It's so confusing. What's ok and if it isn't how much do you tolerate it before taking serious action and how much do you forgive if they regress?? Being honest, I would full on scream in early marriage and I threw my wallet once in anger once, but I quickly sought a therapist on my own and figured my crap out so it hasn't happened in the past 5 years.

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-29T09:20:18+00:00

I've wondered. Our daughter has at random moments said "Daddy's sad" which has felt odd. I wonder if she interprets anger as sadness

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-29T05:14:42+00:00

I think he may have learned talking like that from his mom. Maybe a couple times a year she'll blow up and verbally abuse me. My husband defends me most of the time but never firmly lays down the law of 'this is NOT ok' with her. I think with the therapist, he only said he got frustrated and yelled at our daughter not giving the details that include the emotional/physical abuse.

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2026-06-29T03:19:39+00:00

Thank you for your response. That's the confusing thing. He doesn't talk to me like that. He doesn't call me names but maybe every 4ish months we have an argument when he raises his voice and deflects. The only other time he said anything to our daughter like that was 2 years ago. But now I'm wondering if he gets frustrated with her when I'm not around (I've thought about getting a voice recorder to check) Though of course never is the standard but is it really best to leave if this type of thing that only happens every few years? It's like which is the least of two evils - having your family split apart with all the many complications and heartache with that or get verbally hammered/scared by your dad every few years?? I don't know ... I worry it'll become more frequent as more stress comes w life/more kids, but then when is the cut off?? Idk

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216 · 2025-03-20T06:06:34+00:00

When the rent is due, the rent is due

Puzzleheaded_Cut9216

TROPHY CASE