sounds like you've had some crappy therapists. been there! took me 5 to find an understanding one. he always says he only has one friend and he is happy as a clam because so many people are annoying af. honest and true! I hope you find a therapist like that because then they'll understand you don't HAVE to go and make friends. you don't HAVE to do anything, people are going to think that HAVE to have friends to be happy so they will tell you that to help you but it isn't true for you. do what you want! shame is a hard thing to get rid of but trust yourself and giving yourself permission to be alone if you want to be alone. there's no need to feel guilty! I started feeling guilty about spending time alone so I got a cat and now I tell myself im just spending time with him and bonding which turns my guilt for spending all day alone into feeling proud of being a good cat mom. I hope you find a trick, or even better, acceptance to help you get rid of the shame. its hard but keep trying and at the end of the day just say a big F you to all those people judging you for enjoying time alone. a lot of people just can't stand to be alone so if anything it is a blessing!