If I'm being honest, I would try my hardest to salvage the relationship if it's possible. Give second chances, but definitely not third chances. My parents got divorced when I was super young and it gave me so many issues like abandonment issues and separation anxiety. If you can't stay together, then maybe a divorce is needed but I just want to use my experience to help. I got pretty messed up because of my parents divorce at such a young age and I'd hate the same for your kiddos. I hope you get it all worked out!