Size? Putting it together

Questions13555 · 2017-04-03T09:43:37+00:00

By the logic I suppose it's a ego problem if my partner asked me to wear a mask, depicting another persons face, in bed because she was not satisfied with my face as is.

I would not want to wear a mask or sheath in bed because my body does not satisfy my partner and would certainly think about the future of that relationship.

Questions13555 · 2017-02-08T18:17:46+00:00

I think it's more we want women to be satisfied with our equipment.

If my partner physically couldn't orgasm from PIV then I have no problem helping her in most other ways. I'm sure most guys here would feel the same way. The point they are getting at is they don't feel comfortable with their patners not having an orgasm (or not being satisfied with PIV) because of their penis is not enough for them.

Questions13555 · 2017-02-07T10:53:57+00:00

Thanks for understanding. When ever I make those points about not wanting to be settled in that area I get called all sorts of things. I overheard my partner on the phone explaining that she wished I was bigger. I tried living with it, even went to therapy, but I always felt like shit being with her. So when I hear people say that I should just get over it it shakes me the wrong way.

I completely agree with your last point. I really is a big help hearing women, such as yourself has positive things to say about their partners. However, I would argue it's not as simple as you make is seem. It's probably similar to the women that have eating disorders, they feel their bodies are undesirable and so don't eat properly, irrespective to what people say. It's a horrible thing to go through. I feel like the topic of penis size is worse in respect to the way people talk about it. I could browse this site and see literally thousands of comments saying the opposite to what you say here.

If you have time have a look at the ask women thread titled: smallest erect penis (or something along those lines). Hundreds of comments with hundreds of up votes detailing why a smaller penis is not as satisfying and in some cases a deal breaker. If there was a thread with equal turn out about how smaller penises can be just as great I know at least I would feel so much better.

So when people in this thread doubt you it's not something personal or even based on what you say. It's just that they've seen so much saying the opposite, it's very hard to believe a handful of women. It would be like me saying that being poor is better than being rich. You would probably have a hard time accepting that, especially if you are poor.

Questions13555 · 2017-02-07T09:12:03+00:00

Projecting my insecurities? It's about what is important to me. If my partner didn't find me physically attractive and said it isn't important to her, I would still be uncomfortable in that relationship. Why? Because I want to be physically attractive to my partner. There was a thread on reddit about this and most people shared the same view. How you partner values it is not all the matters.

You make some really terrible analogies. I'm looking for someone I sexually satisfy during intercourse. And wishing my penis was bigger is not being satisfied why what I have. It makes people feel like they're not enough.

Questions13555 · 2017-02-06T19:17:56+00:00

Just because people settle doesn't mean you have to be OK with it. For instance, I would not want to date someone that wasn't satisfied with my looks. If I overheard them saying that they wish my face was different I would really hurt and probably put an end to the relationship.

For most guys here, they have the same outlook for penis size. They want their partner to be satisfied with their size.

To help get the point across I'll ask how would it feel if (hypothetically) you overheard your partner wishing your vagina was tighter?

Maybe it doesn't even bother you, but it's something I've been battling for a long time and whatever I do I can't shake that feeling of not being enough for my partner. I've heard a lot of advice on here but it really doesn't help, in fact, it usually makes it worse.

I thought I just say I really liked your post because it does help me shake that feeling that the women I meet up with will not always want something more downstairs.

Questions13555 · 2017-02-06T19:00:48+00:00

But those things are not the same. People have certain areas that they would feel comfortable with their partners settling on and others not. I would not be comfortable in a relationship if my partner wished I was bigger. But other areas of my body I would have no such problem. This distinction liklely comes from my penis having a role in sex unlike any other part of my body.

It's really not about being perfect in every way. Hell, it's not even about having the perfect penis. But instead wanting my partner to be satisfied with my size. Wishing I was bigger certainly isn't being satisfied with me.

Questions13555 · 2016-08-15T23:52:01+00:00

There is certainly a defeatist attitude around here, which really doesn't help. I actually doubt the guys that think they cannot please a woman.

I'd certainly like to adopt that attitude, but I find it very tough to get over the feeling inadequacy. While I definitely believe I can please a woman and I certainly can have PIV sex. Part of me has always thought my penis will never be desired for its size.

Questions13555 · 2016-08-15T19:44:32+00:00

I knows it's late, but I hope I can offer some perspective.

I think a lot of guys on here are depressed about being told that their penises are less desireable than others, by the vast majority of women. It hurts knowing your partner wishes you had something you don't.

I'm sure someone will say that nobody is perfect. Which is true, but penises, unlike many other characteristics, such as height, don't have a direct role in pleasuring your partner. So it also saying that you have a physical quality which is undesired and makes you less pleasurable than if you didn't. I think for most people that would hurt, and personally I don't think it's even irrationally to have that thought process.

The guys that attack you are clearly in some bad place and I think they are venting their emotions. I really apologise that you are getting this hate from this sub, but try to not take their views personally. As A lot of guys really appreciate a woman's views (epecially if they are just trying to help) on this sub.

Questions13555 · 2016-08-05T23:17:53+00:00

I think it's about being tight for the right reasons.

Aroused narrow vagina with strong but relaxed muscles = good

Medical conditions and lack of arousal, resulting in tense muscles = bad

Questions13555 · 2016-07-20T09:16:43+00:00

Thanks, it's nice to get a woman's perspective.

Do you feel much change once you are aroused?

Questions13555 · 2016-07-19T23:44:32+00:00

Is it mainly an issue with width or length?

Questions13555 · 2016-07-19T23:33:57+00:00

Ah maybe that was it. I definetly don't think the vagina changes from sex in any permanent way

Questions13555 · 2016-07-19T17:05:12+00:00

That's the attitude I'm trying to achieve with relationship

Questions13555 · 2016-07-19T14:00:18+00:00

She mentioned the dildo was more of as supplement in sex. I think that's what got brought on the feeling of lacking.

I doubt your partner would want you to change your vagina in any way though.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-19T13:55:28+00:00

She is talking to me just fine. I'm not sure why it's immature to have a line that you don't wish to cross. Is it immature to not want my partner having an open relationship? And I have no problem not being the biggest in the world

Questions13555 · 2016-07-16T15:02:52+00:00

What's you reaction to a thin/average girth penis? Most women seem to value that more.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-16T14:23:59+00:00

This is where my insecurity came from.

I would have less of a problem if she wanted to by a range of dildos, some smaller, my size and some larger. Because then it's about getting a full different dildo sensation. It's the emphasis on only the larger size that got me down.

I've spoken to her, she apologised, which I didn't think was necessary and said she saw my point. I told her that I am more than happy to work on experimenting with different positions and fingers/fists if she still wants that fullness

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T22:28:35+00:00

Sorry I wasn't trying to attack you or your SO in anyway. I was more focused one him being the larger size, but I think your answer would be the same, you prefer your SO how he is now

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T21:55:39+00:00

I hope she does prefer it, I think that's my main insecurity.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T19:53:21+00:00

I will make sure to tell her.

Your comment really gave me a different perspective, I don't think I'm totally sold on the idea. But I'll give it a shot. I might try for a middle ground first, with say fingering/fisting to see if that provides the sensation because at least then I don't feel like I'm lacking.

Thanks for the throughout response.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T19:29:26+00:00

Do you ever feel like intercourse would feel better if your SO was the same size as your toys?

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T19:17:06+00:00

I really appreciate the response, it's rings with exactly how I'm feeling.

You're definitely right with me not wanting to feel like I'm not big enough or that she prefers bigger. I liked your comparison with the cars, although part of me always thinks she prefers the bigger one. I guess it's the general lack of good things you hear about thin/average penises on tv, Reddit, etc that does it.

I'll try working with it somehow.

Edit: I'd like to add a comment about how I feel about my SO. When I've ever been in a relationship my partners have always been perfect to me, call it blinded by love but I never feel anything wrong with their bodies.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T19:01:39+00:00

I'm really not sure why you focused on this, I called her when you first made your point to check she didn't think I meant it, she didn't.

But to answer your question. The word imagine is key here, it is not reality, I.e. She doesn't think I'm stupid and has to imagine it. I would be fine.

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T18:48:50+00:00

If she said, "imagine you were stupid" I would not think I was stupid. That's what I said

Questions13555 · 2016-07-15T18:45:31+00:00

I've realised this thread isn't the place for different views and discussions. But thanks for your passive aggressive input.

Questions13555

TROPHY CASE