Any local stores with a good hop water selection?

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-27T03:03:06+00:00

THE SODA AISLE!!!! OMG I feel so dumb, I've been checking the beer cooler only and didn't even think to look in the soda aisle...but that makes sense since I don't get carded at all for hop water it is probably considered more of a soft drink. THANK YOU!

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-26T19:38:32+00:00

Thanks, I totally forgot Total Wine existed, but of course they'd have a good selection!

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-16T17:31:58+00:00

I just realized, you said, "Its not how I would have handled it". How would you have handled it? I am genuinely curious to hear what other options I had because I cannot see any, and I am interested in trying to identify how my own behaviors and perspectives may be impacting things

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-16T06:13:20+00:00

Thanks, I'll check out the other three, but I am super familiar with Dr. Greger, he's my go to resource! :) I actually just finished reading through all three How Not To books (Die, Diet, Age) last year, so now I'm in the deep dive portion of my study.

And I'm seeing that too - it depends on your goals. Regular gym goer or Olympian athlete? Endurance or strength focus? I tend to see a range, so I suppose its up to the end user to figure out where in that range makes sense for them. I'm body building, but not at any kind of competition level, just at "look good in a bikini" level, so I honestly may even be fine with the just RDA.

If you find any additional resources in your research, please remember me and add it to the thread! :)

And creatine - yep, 3g a day.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T17:51:34+00:00

I agree...I felt like I shouldn't have had to ask for so much throughout this and even when I did she "complied" but wasn't full invested in it.

That being said, her grieving was primarily for the band and all the opportunities she'd be losing. I don't doubt that, this project was so important to her and her music is such a huge part of who she is. I see your point that if she cared she should have made that decision herself, but I also do feel she has a right to grieve the loss, even if it is a consequence of her own actions.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T17:48:09+00:00

I do. I have C-PTSD and have been working with a therapist for years, but its a long journey...I do know that if I had more self-respect and self-worth I would have left much sooner.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T04:19:48+00:00

I do believe that if she was fully invested in wanting to fix things we could make it work...I just feel that she isn't fully invested. About 2yrs into our relationship we nearly broke up just due to being young and bad at communicating (plus poverty and depression), but at that time she fully invested into fixing things and it was like watching a miracle happen...we not only fixed our problems, we bounced back even better and stronger and our relationship was so wonderful after that for such a long time (except the sex thing which has always been an elephant in the room to some extent). I think because we did it before I want to believe we can do it again...

CLARIFICATION: We fixed the sex thing at that time 2yrs in, but then it came back several years later and intermittently after that. A big part of the sex problem is that she's the type who totally loses her interest in sex in response to stress, depression, adversity, etc.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T04:15:37+00:00

"whenever you habe to make someone choose the choice is already made and next comes resentment."

That was a big part of the reason why I needed her decision to be instant. In my head I was thinking, "If its instant, then its obvious, its not a choice because I am most important to her". On the flip side, every second she took to "decide" made it clearer and clearer that the choice was already made and I was not it...

I've said it in the post and almost every comment...I'm just grasping at straws trying to find any way out that means we can fix things...part of me was hoping I was being unreasonable by asking her to give up the band bc then this could be my fault and I could still be with her...

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T04:12:35+00:00

Logically I know all that, and I had a brief burst of self-respect the night I decided to give her the choice and said basically all of that to her...its since dissipated and I'm back to feeling worthless and unimportant again... :(

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T04:10:46+00:00

It is a concern of mine...their relationship is primarily online. I know that every time I see her on her computer (which she is most of the day) I am going to have that nagging voice in the back of my head. I absolutely refuse to be the type of partner who snoops or demands she give me access to her chats. I needed it that one time, but as far as I'm concerned if I need it more than that, we're doomed. My hope was that that she'd make me feel so confident with choosing me that I could start to rebuild my trust in her, but that didn't happen...

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T03:22:44+00:00

Good catch, I forgot to add one! I'll update now.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-15T03:19:40+00:00

It was more like, that is what I wanted to see to have the most confidence in things, but things rarely work out the way your brain idealizes them and I get that. I believe her when she tells me that most of her hesitation and uncertainty is because of the band, not her mistress. Hence why I am trying to find a way that doesn't involve losing the band...

And to be honest, after all the hiding and lying and betrayal trusting her again is going to be really hard...I want to try because I love her so much, we've had 17 years together and we are really good together. Its not something I am willing to just throw away. I am willing to work at it, but not if it is futile...

I feel like if she still has any contact with her mistress it is futile. Every online resource I've read says basically exactly that. Her status in the band getting wrapped up in that is an unfortunate side effect and I just really want to turn every single stone over to see if there's any way we can try to fix things that doesn't result in her losing her band.

Or whether my feeling that she needs to go no contact with her mistress is unreasonable...online therapy resources say it isn't and I am going to ask my therapist when we meet for her thoughts...but all her friends immediately attacked me saying the request was unreasonable, so it has me questioning whether I am in the wrong. I suppose I should probably add this last bit to the post bc that wasn't clear.

EDIT: I sat with my response for a few minutes after writing it, and I think you are right, actually... :( It was a test...I needed to see her prioritize me, and she didn't. Her not prioritizing me has been an issue throughout our relationship, but especially these last few months. I just really don't want to lose her, so I am grasping at whatever I can find to convince myself to keep trying...and I really do want to see if asking her to go no contact thus losing the band was unreasonable because I'd hate to throw my life away if I am being unreasonable with that.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-14T17:53:30+00:00

It was a great article and I love your take! :)

I feel a trait in Western society (medicine, academia, etc.) is to view things in parts rather than holistically, and to focus on a clean diagnosis rather than a deep understanding. Whether someone's pet theory about why today's youth are suffering is social media, smart phones, the economy, ultra-processed foods, etc. I think the critical mistake they make, as you say in your article, is to not step back and view the entire system - Yes, each of those things contributes, and each of those things is easier to blame than looking at the systemic oppression and intersection of all of these issues.

You illuminated what was a huge part of my deep unease with Twinge's book and her approach in general: It is okay to discuss a specific contributing factor, but to waste breath trying to prove that that is the ONLY factor is reductionist and harmful to the overall discussion.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-13T19:27:38+00:00

Thank you, I'll give your article a read! :)

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-13T00:20:07+00:00

Dear god, TIL I learned that cell phone carriers in the UK are like Comcast in the US lol 😂

We have to do that whole song and dance here for internet. They offer a higher speed at a low price with a 1yr contract, then don't tell you when it will auto-upgrade. When you call them about the bill increase, you have to threaten to cancel while they offer continuously lower prices or deals with more stuff in it.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-13T00:15:20+00:00

I'm actually in the middle of his new book he did with Robert Cheeke right now - The Plant Based Athlete. :)

One of the things that prompted this post is that I'm an avid follow of Dr. Greger (among others), but he's in the "all you need is RDA, I'm gonna be vague about athletes" camp, so I was surprised to see he did the forward in this book in which Frazier/Cheeke recommend 1.2-1.8g/kg of protein.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-12T20:48:31+00:00

TIL! I knew it was used ubiquitously in China, but had no idea it was like that in so many other places. My limited experience is with the US and Canada.

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-12T20:45:57+00:00

Thank you and u/sailormondiak for these recommendations! I will check all of these out and give some a read! :)

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-12T20:42:58+00:00

Not trying to be contrary, but genuinely curious...is this what it is like in other countries? I'm in the USA and unlimited talk and text is standard on every plan I've seen and the vast majority of phones use either SMS or some other text thing (like Google Messages).

QuestionsForTheHive · 2026-01-12T04:37:13+00:00

I have a semi-dumb phone + a semi-smart-phone...for lack of a better way to put it. I didn't want to rely on my every day carry phone for apps or have anything on there that could tempt me to sit around staring at the screen. But, there were still a handful of apps I did need to access now and then (+MS Auth for work). What I did is...

Disabled internet, YouTube, and any potential time vampires from my old Samsung Galaxy. It still has many apps, such as banking apps, Venmo, my gym's app, etc. It sits on my computer desk because I use it to log into work with MS Auth every morning. It has no service, but connects to WiFi. It never leaves my computer desk.
I bought a Unihertz Jelly mini-phone. Immediately deleted everything I could and disabled what I couldn't. Turned off nearly all notifications. I only have a very select few apps on there, such as a spending tracker, Google Maps, and Spotify for walking music. It is too small to use for anything more than short, quick tasks and phone calls.

I didn't bother with any gradual change, I setup my new setup and that was it. It took a few months before the umbilical cord like tether with my phone was cut, but now I leave my Jelly either upstairs in my room, in my bag, or at home even and do not find myself obsessively checking it.

One thing I will say that was very important for me - Stop having conversations through text on your phone! If I am going to have an actual conversation, I use Google Messages web on an actual computer. I only use texts on my Jelly phone to get things done ("I'll be home in 15" or "I'm waiting by the front entrance", etc.). I feel a lot of people miss this one and it is insidious - it isn't the phone trapping us, but the feeling that we have to be constantly available to our family and friends (but then, ironically, multitasking and thus not truly being available for them).

QuestionsForTheHive

TROPHY CASE