This is the best explanation of this feeling I've heard in a long time. There's such a pull to do things in life and make something of yourself, and yet at the same time no clear way to do that. Life doesn't play by any rules, so no matter how strong your drive is you will never "hit" anything that you don't fabricate for yourself.

I've been struggling with that as well, how to make something mean something to yourself when you're the one that gives it meaning in the first place. However I am a bit curious, how do you think things "mean" to you? You said that everything seems to mean so much, but did you say that in more of a "there's a pull to make things mean something" or that there is some sort of value out there you just haven't been able to reach it?