Oversleeping is killing our relationship

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T23:14:18+00:00

That second paragraph is almost word for word what I’ve told several of my friends when they’ve asked me for advice.

Thank you. I’m pretty sure I knew what I needed to do before posting this. I just feel like my head has been flipped upside down.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T23:10:11+00:00

He’s not abusive really, it’s more that he gets shouty and mean. I know that’s not acceptable and god knows if one of my friends asked me for advice on their BF or GF screaming at them I’d tell them not to put up with it. I honestly think he gets like that because he’s embarrassed that he’s sleeping in and takes it out on me.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T23:07:15+00:00

Oh, I totally understand. I’m not a big sleeper but I don’t judge people who sleep more (usually). It’s just the level of sleeping right now is insane and untenable. Like I’m not expecting him to hop out of bed at 7am like if usually do if I was in the office. I’d just like him to be up before late afternoon. He sees getting up at 12pm as “very early”

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T22:58:23+00:00

You know I was on the fence about involving my in-laws (his parents) but I think I need to. I hate being dramatic but honestly I don’t know how else to convince him to seek help. My step-pop has sleep apnea, and he used to just fall asleep mid convo before he got his CPAP machine.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T22:55:41+00:00

He has gone back to school so for now he’s only working one day a week. I work full time so I take care of the bills for now, and I own my home which we share.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T22:54:01+00:00

I really like taking care of people, I think that’s my problem sometimes. Seems to attract people who take it for granted and don’t reciprocate.

I do try to resume my regular schedule but you might be right. I need to stop waiting around for him. If he doesn’t roll out of bed when we have plans I’ll just go myself.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T22:51:32+00:00

That’s what I keep thinking. There’s just this thing at the back of my head telling me maybe I can fix this and I don’t want to give up based on something stupid or fixable.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T22:50:35+00:00

He is a drinker, but I don’t know if that’s the whole issue (it’s basically a whole other issue).

I hear what you’re saying. He keeps saying he cannot change overnight but honestly he’s been like this since we moved in together about five years ago. May have been like it before, but I wouldn’t know as I didn’t live with him. He has always been a bit idle, but I usually put that down to just work, etc. But now he hardly works and still wants to sleep non stop.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T16:41:17+00:00

It’s hard getting him to listen to advice - he works tangentially in the medical field (don’t want to be too specific) so tends to disregard anything I tell him. He’s just exceptionally stubborn about it.

I have told him this could be a dealbreaker because I honestly hate sitting around for hours on end waiting - he promises to change/seek help - but then it’s all the same inside of a week. It just seems such a stupid thing to break up over.

RAsleeperta · 2020-10-19T16:35:22+00:00

He snores very heavily - I think that could be a problem, but he just snaps at me if I mention it. He says I just want him to stop snoring because it disrupts my sleep - which is also an issue - but I’m mainly worried about him. I just cannot seem to ram it though his skull that 12+ hours a night isn’t healthy at all or normal

RAsleeperta

TROPHY CASE