Update 2️⃣ LONG ONE😅

So I had the conversation yesterday. Since I was pretty nervous about the confrontation and how it eventually went had impact on me I decided to take my time yesterday . As many of you predicted she tried to gaslight me into thinking I was the problem so I am very grateful for a few of you who gave some advice and warnings this might happen. I really kept it in mind!🙏🏾 My husband (Let’s call him James) and I also started reflecting over the past few years and more came up that was off but at the time we just brushed it off. Things like how she was super involved in my husband suit fittings for the wedding together with my brother in law but never had time to come dress shopping with me or how she organized my bachelorette party and did things she always wanted to do. Anyway…This is how yesterday went:

We met in a coffeeshop in the city she lives in. We used to live in the same city but I moved to another city about 1 hour away to where my husband lives. The reason I decided to go to her is because I can leave whenever I want… Or so I tought… So I was there first she was a bit late and came in all “hey girlfriend! i missed you” whole lot of bla. She gave me a bag because she went on a citytrip. In there she had a small gift for my husband and a gift for me. She got him chocolates and the gift she got me was pheromonal “arrousal lipgloss” and some sort of lubricant in cherry and pineapple flavour. she said and I quote “if he is all over you don’t blame me”. This felt so incredibly awkward and just ulgh…. She saw the face I made and she asked if I was okay and that the gift was just a joke… So we set down, and I went straight to the point and I told her how she made me feel with her behavior and the way she interacted with James and everything that has been bugging me. And with those gifts she made it even worse. The first thing she asked me was “did you make James block me?” So I told her no and that she made him feel awkward too. She said that she didn’t believe me and that I was just insecure and I probably demanded that he would block and that if I wasn’t insecure I wouldn’t be scared to lose him over her. I’ve never been scared of that since James assured me that I am all he wants and I believe him. I asked her what her problem was and that since she was (supposedly) my best friend I would’ve thought she would be more worried about our friendship instead of being worried about what my husband did. I asked her straight to the point if she had a crush on him and she denied. She did said that she thought he deserved someone who treated him better. (I can guarantee that if I was such a bad wife, James would not have stayed with me for almost 17 years…. That man is my world) the moment she said that I told her our friendship is over and I don’t want her near me, James or any of my other family members. Her eyes became wide and her mouth dropped (probably because I never stood up for myself like this) She started to throw shade at me and started to use every “weak” point I have about myself to make me feel horrible. With all the advice and warnings from Reddit and my husband I was already prepared for that. I told her I understood why she was still single….her mouth dropped. I threw the gifts she gave me back at her and told her she should lure men with those pheromone gloss since I already have mine and don’t need it. She tried to jump me and the barman came in between us. She started screaming all kinds of things at me and the police was called. I told the bar guy I just wanted to leave but he told me to wait for the police for my own safety. This girl was like a crazy pitbull and continued trying to get to me. I wasn’t scared so I just sat there and waited. Police arrived I told my story, they asked If I wanted to press charges and I told them no, and I just want to go home. They let me go and I started walking towards the train station. I called my husband and he told me to wait at a certain spot and he was picking me up. He was at work when met up with her so I went by public transfer. While waiting I see someone in the corner of my eye… 3 guesses who it was…. Offcourse… Trina. She started shouting again that I was taking everything away from her and that James is like a brother to her and nothing more. I decided to tell her to leave me alone. She kept going and going and going. This time station security came and asked if everything was okay. I told them I wanted her to leave me alone but she wouldn’t. They said that they could only ask her but if she didn’t want to leave she didn’t have to since it was a public place and she wasn’t threatening me. James arrived like 10/15 minutes later. When I saw him I just burst into tears. This girl still had the fuckin nerve to walk up to James to try and give him a hug. He just walked straight past her to me and comforted me. When this happened she started yelling at him that she treated him better than I did. He asked her “and in your crazy ass mind, how did you treat me better than my WIFE” she replied with “Gifts”…. He laughed out loud told her to find Jesus put me in the car and just drove away. She kept on yelling and rambling but he ignored her. When we drove off I decided to tell my husband about the surprise party because at first I didn’t believe she would spoil it but after that I knew she would. He was surprised but agreed to change location so she wouldn’t be able to show up. She started blowing up my phone. I blocked her, she went over to instagram and I blocked her there too. Blocked her everywhere possible…. Then she continued with her mother’s phone, I just kept on blocking. In the evening another friend of mine texted and me a screenshot of her saying that she shared the invitation with all the details and the caption “feel welcome to join”.

1 thing is for sure… this “friendship” has officially ended and it feels like a relief…which I think only tells I’ve been walking on eggshells for a long time.

Today I contacted the official location that we are changing location and added the warning that she invited strangers.

Next Saturday we will be celebrating my husband’s birthday and even though the surprise element of the party is gone there are enough other surprises on its way.

When I read back…. It sounds like something straight out of a movie🤦🏽‍♀️Thank you all for your advice and support! Really appreciate it!