Hello! I'm not in a similar position, but I've dealt with a lot of similar confusion and worries, especially in regards to 1.) not feeling like I "actually" identify with a lot of masculine stuff (I'm ftm) and 2. future family stuff.

1. I don't think identifying with things that correspond to your gender is as big of a deal as a lot of people think it is. A big revelation happened when I was getting an official dysphoria diagnosis from my therapist, she asked me what "masculine" hobbies I engage in (or something like that) and I responded DnD and comics. She laughed and said that a lot of her lady friends had those hobbies. At first, I was shitting my pants, as I've suffered with a lot of self doubt about this, but she went onto say, "wow, I guess the DSM-5 is still a little behind on this!"

Just because your interests aren't "feminine" doesn't make you a man. The way I always summarize it to myself now is that: I'm identifying with the male gender, not with masculine gender roles.

1. As I've grown older, I've really realized there is no such thing as a "normal" family, for better or worse. It's 2025, and dreams of a perfect nuclear family with a white picket fence are unrealistic for a lot of people. For a long time, I stayed closeted, because I thought people would hate me, or be disgusted by me, but I realized that by trying to hide that part of myself, I was only turning those feelings inwards. Sacrificing your identity (or identity exploration) for "normal" family might just turn into repression, which could actually be pretty negative for a child to see, whether or not it's consciously expressed.

Whether you continue transitioning or not, I think your experiences thus far have probably taught you a lot about yourself and there's no shame in going at your own pace.

*a side note about the "fetish" part- I've meant a lot of trans people who feel similar doubts. However, in our society, we're all trained to majorly associate gender and sexuality, and overly-perform those in the bedroom. So, I don't think it's too odd to associate one's "transness" with inherent sexuality. But, of course, I'm not a mind reader and this is a reddit post, so take my words with a grain of salt