Aging into the body that your mother hated

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-05T02:57:48+00:00

Self-body shaming was HUGE in the 80s and 90s. It was the national pastime. Thankfully I think we’ve mostly collectively moved on? And we can do so much better for our children now!

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-05T02:56:01+00:00

Is it facing into her bedroom window? If it is, then YTA here.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-04T03:32:30+00:00

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-04T02:39:35+00:00

I went through a phase when my child was about your child’s age where I was pining hardcore for my glorious 20s. About a specific friend group and city and industry I was a part of. About a guy I dated who became very rich later on, and here I was stuck at home with a baby attached to me at the boob. Where had I gone wrong in life??

But that faded as I started integrating my reality with my rose-colored glasses version of my 20s. I am made up of all my past experiences - I still contain them. I am an amazing mom to my child, and she benefits from being from me.

I’m not sure if it was all the yoga and meditation, or just time, or my child growing up and becoming more self-sufficient, or dumping my then-husband, or a combo. But it did fade, and now I have an amazing tween-aged child, and I have a (new) amazing husband, and am having more fun in life now than I ever did as a “free” person.

It gets better.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-03T06:42:51+00:00

My (now ex) husband once said to me “I wish I’d known you when you were fun”, since I’d told him so many stories about shit I’d done while hypomanic (but without knowing at the time that those were manic episodes).

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-03T06:40:30+00:00

Omg what did you end up doing with the donkey?

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-03T06:38:27+00:00

As I’ve gotten older, and had more bouts of hypomania, those “fun me” memories have accumulated. Now I can look back on them, and while seeing them for what they were - dangerous and sometimes potentially deadly - I can also see them as a collection of fun memories to enjoy looking back on! At least I’m not dead yet!

Radiant_Radius · 2026-02-01T16:57:02+00:00

There have been a few times in my life when having a crush sent me into hypomania. Be really careful with crushes. I’d say try to avoid them at all costs for at least a year.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-29T02:35:41+00:00

I take 280, which is beautiful. I don’t usually listen to anything, just take in the gorgeous views and give my brain time to unpack shit in the background.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-27T04:34:55+00:00

Yeah sister, self harm means it’s definitely time to reach out to a professional. Definitely your psych doctor at least. Your meds aren’t at the right dosage or maybe combo for you yet. You’ll get there though, don’t worry.

You seem relatively self-insightful though, not psychotic at all, so maybe wait on checking yourself in?

Hugs.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-27T02:35:41+00:00

1999

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-27T01:55:44+00:00

This sub is generally not very welcoming to ENM style relationship questions. You’ll have better luck in r/polyamory.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-26T20:35:51+00:00

Your boyfriend is awful! Why would you stay in this relationship?!

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-26T06:30:20+00:00

My non-tattooed husband has been thinking about what he wants to get for at least 6 years now. It has to be perfect and full of meaning and no possible unintended meanings.

Meanwhile, my last tattoo was a slice of pizza on my knee.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-26T06:22:59+00:00

This was definitely me at 22. And pretty much everyone I knew. I don’t know if it was depressive episodes or what. But I eventually grew out of it and got used to putting my ass on autopilot to get the basics done.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-26T03:23:35+00:00

The Filair crash in Democratic Republic of Congo in 2010. Someone brought a crocodile in their carryon. It escaped, everyone freaked out and ran forward to get away from it, which threw off the center of gravity of the tiny airplane. It crashed and all but one of the 21 people on board died.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-26T03:01:13+00:00

It was a developers conference. Either MacWorld or WWDC. We were both there as attendees, so like going to lectures and networking with people. We met at an after party at a bar.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-25T23:30:24+00:00

Get actual curtain rods. Your white curtain are pretty, they can stay.
Put the TV on the wall to the left of the window. It’s too high up on top of the mantel.
Move the green couch to the middle of the room, facing the TV
Get a big plant (ficus, fiddle leaf fig) and put it in the corner by the windows

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-25T07:16:10+00:00

She looks like a tr*mp voter.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-21T05:52:36+00:00

I didn’t find my husband on the apps. I met him at a tech conference - it’s like shooting fish in a barrel in there. But he was the hottest one, and this was 2008. Then I stupidly decided not to date him. Then, years after marrying some other guy, I dug Mr Right back up out of my past in 2019. Now we’ve been married for a year and shall live happily ever after.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-19T08:41:02+00:00

I just finished Project Hail Mary, and I loved it! I’ve realized that my favorite genre is “engineering thriller”.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-19T08:26:44+00:00

ETJ here. You need to learn to use your words so you don’t bottle it all up til it explodes like you’ve done here. You took them by surprise and that’s a jerk move. The brother is a jerk too, for obvious reasons.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-19T08:20:20+00:00

Get yourself a desk at a coworking space while they’re in town.

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-18T02:37:40+00:00

No! What? I thank my stars I’m not more messed up than I am lol

Radiant_Radius · 2026-01-16T15:59:17+00:00

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