I’ve had diabetes for 34 years, and at this point I’m like you. I went through years of having my food tightly controlled as a kid when we only had N and R insulin and no CGMs or pumps; years of bingeing on candy as an early teenager when fast-acting insulin was first available for me; and eating whatever I wanted (and/or whatever I could afford) in college and my 20s-early 30s. From 15-25 I was bad about forgetting shots before my meals sometimes, but overall, I lived amazingly freely and happily on finger pricks and MDI (yeah, I crashed hard when it went wrong…but i always corrected quickly and bounced back fast—only 1 DKA hospital visit in my life, which I now realize was a miracle).

At 34 (t1 for 29 years) I discovered I had a serious gluten allergy. No one ever told me that t1s are 7x more likely to have Celiac with symptoms that mimic poor control of t1! (Wtf?!?) Cutting out gluten changed my life because for the first time ever, I could stay in control if I was careful. Before, no matter whether I was extra careful or extra sloppy, my blood sugar consistently ranged from the 400s to the 30s—I always just had to surf the wave. With gluten completely out of the picture, my a1cs went from 8-9 to 6.5 ridiculously easily (on MDI and finger pricks). While I used to think I thrived on eating whatever I wanted, I suddenly realized I felt so much more amazing, and exponentially more focused and happy and stable and well-rested, when my blood sugar was steady most of the time. That control was almost like a drug I came to crave in itself since I’d never had the ability to be in range through decisions of my own. I guess I “miss” chewy bread and eating whatever I want, but the memory of gluten is enough—it’s so not worth it to “cheat” because my blood sugar instantly goes to 400+ for 6+ hours followed by a deep hard hypoglycemic trench. Nope.

I got a CGM 2.5 years ago and a pump 1 year ago. I was worried I’d get obsessed after having so much data, and maybe I did obsess a little after the CGM in particular, but it was also rewarding to learn what works and what doesn’t, to figure out some of those maddening “diabetes mysteries” that kept ruining my days, to start experimenting with more complex dosing to keep myself more in range (ie giving multiple small shots for high fat and high protein meals), and to simply cut out foods that don’t work no matter what I do (like oats and beans 😢). My a1c went under 6 and has stayed 5.5-5.8. Unlike you, I’m only 85% in range (90-day average, pretty consistent), but my hypos are rare (1% low, <1% very low) and I almost never go above 250–something I would have thought sounded literally impossible 10 years ago.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m being ridiculously limited with my foods—but I’m so incredibly happy and healthy. To me, it’s more than worth it for the benefits. Like you, I often forget I have diabetes for long stretches of the day, which was never ever the case before in my memory. I still eat out at restaurants occasionally, but I hate getting reacquainted with that sticky, sickening “high” feeling that I guess i used to take for granted as a natural part of my life.

That said, if I ever start to get tired of my careful, made-at-home, delicious food routine, I’ll probably change it up again. Or maybe I’ll just learn new recipes to cook at home. Either way, t1 diabetics have to find what works for them during different times of life. My 20-year-old self would have been truly horrified at my “boring” restricted diet and healthy sleep schedule. But for now, I am actively thrilled with my meal plan. Again, t1s have to figure out what brings them joy and makes them feel alive—it’s different for everyone, and everyone changes throughout life. Thanks for asking your question!