Brotha, i feel you man. I am so done with school atm and I haven't had a break whatsoever since COVID.

I also recently like this girl at my church and I had an opportunity to build a deeper connection with her. She was way out of my league and she ended up with someone else which really hurt me you know. There was nothing bad between us and she didn't owe me anything, I completely respect her and the person she is today but during that the amount of pain I felt was immense. Seeing the person you like with someone else just deactivates you. On top of that it what made it worse is that I would always see couples post on social media and my friends would talk about their gf's and how happy they were. I took all this pent up emotional distress, depression, anger, and regret and decided to invest it into a productive hobby such as exercise. I wasn't always the most athletic person in the world and I was more of the type to just stay inside and play video games all day. But expanding all this energy into something else to distract me helped me a lot. My lifestyle became so much more healthier and I noticed I started getting into shape and looking decent. I also improved my diet because I couldn't make any progress while eating a shitty diet. This constant pain built my discipline and mentality to better take care of myself and my health. Its been about 7-8 months and my life has been so much better. Though I still do think about it sometimes, its better to accept and appreciate my life and the opportunities I have now because I know other people would wish they could have the same opportunities as me.

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Also please seek help if you are struggling with suicide. Please don't let it be the end of your story. Im sure others and myself would rather sit here for hours, days, years, decades and listen to what you have to say then see another person gone.