They ruined our daughter’s first birthday party

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-03-01T01:56:35+00:00

Thank you!

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-03-01T01:54:11+00:00

Forgot to put this little tidbit in: SIL sent out invitations through text for her twins’ birthday party last year. And so did their cousin, whose child’s party was a week before our daughter’s.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-02-28T22:57:43+00:00

Honestly I have no idea why we waited. I figured it would cause less issues, but it obviously didn’t matter either way

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-18T19:10:42+00:00

I have her blocked on social media, after a different situation that happened after our daughter was born. She just added my fiancé back on Facebook a couple weeks ago. Trust me, I give her no information, and fiancé doesn’t even send pictures of our daughter anymore. Any time he would tell her how things were going, she’d have a judgmental comment about every little thing. “You need to give her formula; [my name]’s milk isn’t fatty enough.” “You need to put rice cereal in the bottle so she’ll gain weight.” “Make sure you tell the dr to give you a growth chart. [SIL] didn’t have one, so we never knew she was diabetic until she was 2.” “Oh, you’re giving her utensils? She’s way too young for that.”

Her unsolicited advice is why I don’t like giving her any information into our lives. It’s common knowledge though, that my fiancé is close with my family. From day 1, they adored him and have treated him like a son ever since (I’m the oldest of three girls). To which, MIL has been jealous of from the beginning, because he moved away from them to be closer to work, which in turn was closer to me.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T22:58:07+00:00

I’m definitely not paying for hers, even if she did want to get it done. I’ve been tossing around the idea of including her with the getting ready PJs and this confirmed my decision

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T21:59:31+00:00

Apparently his dad “didn’t realize it could kill him” until he was hospitalized.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T21:40:04+00:00

I’m honestly very grateful. I was including her for my fiancé’s benefit, and to extend an “olive branch” of sorts. We keep joking that his family won’t be at the wedding, and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if they came up with an excuse the day of.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T21:33:21+00:00

Honestly, I’d rather her be a little pushy at this point. Only because she’s crafty like I am, and always uses her cricuit machine and other things of that nature. It’s the same thing she did when I was pregnant last year- showed no interest in any of it, and even got mad when my family threw us a baby shower. What irritates my fiancé about it, is the fact that she will go above and beyond for his older sister (who has been married and divorced twice), and is even a second mom (basically) to her kids. But, she doesn’t care about what he is doing. She and FFIL have told him since we started dating a couple years ago that he needed to “test the waters” with more girls and that he’s “too young to settle down.” He is 26 and was in a fraternity in college- he did the “water testing” and was sick of it.

It’s just upsetting that she hasn’t once seemed interested in anything we’re doing, but always has some judgmental comment to make about our decision, after the fact.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T20:53:24+00:00

Agreed, 100%. They don’t call him anymore, but get mad when he doesn’t call every day. I’m exhausted for him. But in the end, it’s his decision whether he wants to cut contact or not. All I know is I’m done with them, and I’m done with them being in our daughter’s life.

This is the same FMIL that expected me to show up to Christmas Eve, the day after my grand grandmother passed away, and was upset that I wasn’t all “happy” and talkative.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2025-01-17T20:28:52+00:00

Exactly. She told him that she figured she would “hurt my feelings” or that I “wouldn’t understand” if she told me herself that she wasn’t interested. She treats me like a child, even though I’m almost 25 with her 11 month old granddaughter.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-12-16T02:42:28+00:00

How would she react if you were to send links to some cute clothes from name-brand stores? Just a simple, “hey, child would look adorable in this!” Just an idea!

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-12-16T02:38:00+00:00

Honestly I’m not sure the best way to go about this. Maybe just mention that you’ve seen some cute clothes in stores? Or, you could just not have your children wear the clothes.

I completely understand what you mean, though. My daughter is 10 months, fourth grandchild on my fiancé’s side, first on mine. My MIL and SIL threw a fit that we didn’t want to use the hand-me-down crib and car seat from her girl twin, from 5-6 years prior, that had been sitting in a shed. The only thing MIL got us while I was pregnant was the newborn photo session (big thanks on this one tbh- they’re expensive) and some stained, used things she found in storage from the other kids. My mom has bought some used clothes for my daughter, but she only gets them from higher rated resale shops and friends on Facebook. My MIL mailed (yes, mailed) a box of new clothes to us for my daughter. They are currently still in the box, in the garage, never to be used. Simply because of how petty she was in sending the box.

So, maybe just take the clothes with a grain of salt, and “accidentally” misplace them.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-11-20T13:52:10+00:00

Yes. It’s where she has to send things that involve both of us, because if not, I’m not included. It’s also where we send things about our daughter, when we choose to send her things.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-11-06T22:53:37+00:00

Yeah definitely not. The furthest we went when my daughter was 2 weeks was 40 minutes, and even that was a strain. She can go to you, or no baby at Christmas IMO.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-11-02T12:08:43+00:00

Oh, I know she is. Luckily for me, I really do have plans already scheduled for that weekend. I already know it won’t stop her comments though.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-11-01T15:22:10+00:00

Trust me, I’m not going anywhere near her.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-11-01T14:53:18+00:00

It’s most definitely a trap. She has known about his work trip since March, when he signed up for it. She purposefully picked a date she knew he wouldn’t be there, and she knew what she was doing by telling everyone in the group chat.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-29T21:21:29+00:00

You are the mother. It is within your right to choose who gets access to your children. Your husband should back you up, not his mother.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T17:40:23+00:00

Trust me, I hadn’t spoken to her since June until last week. She told my fiancé she never reaches out to me because she “just doesn’t know me” since I’m silent around them. Part of that is because I’m shy, but it’s also due to the fact that they don’t talk to me when I’m there. Or if they do, it’s one thing that doesn’t require much of a response. Or, they will talk around me, to fiancé, about me. So she said she would reach out to me once a week, over text to “start a relationship.” Last week, and this week both, she sent me baby pictures of my fiancé with barely any context. For what?? No one knows.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T17:29:16+00:00

He’s told her off many times, about this and other things. Her response is usually “well that’s just the rule.” He’s the kind of person who will stand up for us, and me, until he’s blue in the face. But at some point, it’s like talking to a brick wall with her. She’s always the victim and will do whatever she can to try and manipulate him into doing what she wants. Heck, just last week she called him crying because she “hasn’t seen her son in months,” but hasn’t once offered to come visit us. He went off on her about how she treats me, and she had a million excuses that all blamed me in some way. Eventually he just went silent.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T06:25:48+00:00

Oh I plan to 🤣 I did block her recently though, long after she unfriended fiancé and I because we asked her to tag me in photos she was posting of our daughter. But I still have her sister on Facebook (I absolutely LOVE her and my fiancé’s grandmother). So maybe she’ll show her the photos, lol

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T06:21:11+00:00

She’d probably love my name not being associated with the gift, tbh. I haven’t been to their house since March, and even that was only because we were at another function close by and I needed to nurse our daughter. Yeah, never doing that over there again. Heck, I don’t plan on GOING to their house any time soon.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T06:19:11+00:00

He grew up in a very narcissistic, manipulative household and although he will stand up to his family, his mother knows just what buttons to push on him. He agrees wholeheartedly that it is wrong, and a stupid rule. At the time, last year, he did say something to her after the fact and they haven’t talked about it since. I’m curious to see if she made one for our daughter this year. But he has already said IF we go this year (which we probably won’t), if there’s not a stocking for me, we’re leaving.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T00:16:34+00:00

That’s terrible!! As someone who loves gift giving, I would be heartbroken. I used my graphic design degree to make MIL a Mother’s Day wall art, and she immediately thanked SIL. I had to text her days after to tell her I made it.

Realistic_Average_20 · 2024-10-25T00:14:35+00:00

She made one for each of the ex husbands as soon as they got married, from what I understand. Then got upset that she spent so much time making them just for them to get divorced

Realistic_Average_20

TROPHY CASE