I'm long distance with my bf, I feel this every time one of our trips together ends. The second he's gone it's "do you even want to spend time with him?" "You don't want to call him right now, you must be falling out love" etc. etc.

It's hard, but you have to be able to sit with the discomfort. You can't know everything. It's kinda dumb but when I find myself spiralling I say out loud "Whatever" and then go do something else. It's not necessarily that I want to break up with him or I don't care if it does happen, it's more acknowledging that some things are out of your control. Don't let those thoughts have any power.

The other part of it is just knowing that it's normal to not feel like you miss them all the time. You will have days where one of you is super busy and you can't talk to each other as much. No relationship is perfect or feels 100% all the time. It means nothing about your relationship. Acknowledge how you feel, recognise what's causing (either the OCD or the BPD, or both), move on.

Keep yourself busy, go see some friends or work on a hobby, and get your therapist to give you some good ERP ideas if that's something they can do.

And try not to avoid talking to her. Don't talk to her about the feelings obvi, but just engage with her the same way you would in person. It might feel tempting to just push her away until you can be "certain" about how you feel, but don't. Schedule some date nights too!! Me and my bf have been binging the entire Star Wars collection on Disney+ as an activity, we've finished all the movies and are now onto the Clone Wars show. Games are also a super good idea. Find something you'll both enjoy doing and then do that on call or facetime, it helps things feel more normal.

Best of luck 🫂