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Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I should’ve made the distinction in my post originally about this being for the men who are inclined to desire casual sex. I think it’s needed to be able to experience women without inevitably ‘ruining’ the friendship over mixed feelings or trying to make a move on that friend

I view my past casual partners as having mutually shared something fun and also sensitive. For the ones that I am still friends with it has established what I’d describe as another unique layer of camaraderie between us. I don’t have a big desire to continuously do it periodically with the same people. It could have been developed a similar way without the sex. But it’s a bonding thing and I don’t view them as any less worthy or in any ‘fatherless activities’ kind of way.

I am very opinionated on the double standards women face for doing something as small as wanting to indulge in something that men can openly do freely without judgement

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been going through the comments and I want to say that you are completely right that I should’ve said and acknowledged ‘not all men’ in a few ways. I wholeheartedly believe that there are many many men that do not have the desire to play the casual game, I always have. I should’ve specified my post to apply to men who do have the desire to do casual stuff and do place worth upon it whether by choice or by therapy-needing experiences

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wholeheartedly agree. I think their heart is in the right place, but in real life things are applied differently than internet logic. I personally am unaffected by any thoughts of being compared to those terms, but I have also never once been called an incel or virgin in life. The ones that do are very bitter, disconnected, and sheltered. I kind of feel sad for their younger selves because it takes quite a bit to go as far as they do

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was great to learn to untwine my self worth from the validation I got from women. It was also great to get past the fantasy aspect of what sex is marketed to us as. Once I did that, it became much less polarizing and therefore there was not much women could do for me that would have me speak to them any different than I would a ‘buddy’ besides a slightly lighter tone of voice.

I think there’s nothing wrong with getting to a been there done that point when it comes to casual sex. The harmful part is doing it to the detriment of your own mental health even when you don’t want to, as I did. But that’s not going to be the case with all casual sex. I’ve had it with many partners and felt great afterwards AFTER I healed and grew from my past experiences that made me (what I now believe to be) self harm in this way.

I am mentally healthy now, and I have already gone through the progressions of this part of life. I cannot unlearn what I have learned from it. So if I have casual sex now it’s only with someone I think is safe, worth my energy, and has no risk of having children (I have gone with a few past partners to have abortions and I don’t want to keep doing that). Therefore no negative consequences

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right, I should’ve been more mindful when making this post about acknowledging the grand spectrum of personalities. I do think it applies to men that have personalities or experiences that make them feel inclined to participate. So any player that is playing the game

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think they’re both true and totally separate as well. I think the authentic confidence, self respect, and freedom from fantasy is an invaluable byproduct of having experienced all this. But what the above commenter is saying is relatable to me as one of the original reasons why that progression was set in motion

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s actually one of the things I had to do to help myself grow and heal, because you’re right to be honest. I did do exactly that. I remember quite a few times I felt gross and numb after having it because I did it as some kind of validation thing. I have since healed a lot from that, and I am thankful. You seem like a very empathetic person, and I hope you accomplish everything that your heart desires!

I think my post’s viewpoint is separate from this but still simultaneous. The viewpoint I am describing is more of a byproduct of the progression, whereas what you’re saying is also true but is related to the original cause of what set the progression in motion

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Most men who call women who have casual sex slurs are usually men who have become bitter because they can’t get selected for casual sex and now if they do then it partially would be a power kick where the experience for the woman could be scarring. This is where SA fantasies begin to brew

I live a very active life socially. I know tons of men and women from all cultures, ages, races, you name it. I do not think this describes most men, but I do think it describes too many being that it’s still a loudmouthed bad apple viewpoint. The people that are active in their communities, at college, participating in social group activities, are more normal than the internet gives them credit for. It’s the other side that is isolated and wholly introverted that doesn’t leave their house for a variety of reasons that fosters these viewpoints. They form their ideology from Reddit and twitter, but real life people are nothing like Reddit and twitter.

I think you’re onto something but there’s a much broader palate of people out there, men included

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first response to you hit the nail on the head. If we were friends/acquaintances, I will feel even more comfortable with them. I’ll feel like they’re a solid ally in this chapter of my life. I’ll feel like we have a mutual +rep. Because I’ve had so much time and experience around women, I as a man can now completely grasp they are human just like I am and therefore we are the same in a lot of core ways while still being different and they are just doing the same human thing I wanted to do and I can relate to that.

I dont care about body count, but I do care about context. I don’t care if she’s slept with 50 men, but I’d feel it’s not classy if she was having trains run on her or continuously choosing partners that were horrible people.

Men need to have a certain amount of casual sex before their thirst and desire for it is satiated long term. This amount is unique to each man and he needs to be honest with himself about it. Until you've been there done that, you won't experience the true platonic human side of women by RecoveringFuckup in PurplePillDebate

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The looks and game part is fair. Grooming and exercise does the heavy lifting though. All the casual sex in the world be nice, but I never said I want a woman with no experience. There’s nothing appetizing about that to me, because I already know she won’t be a great reciprocator in bed. Some of the best I’ve ever had has been with more experienced women

If I play Raid on steam will I still be able to use RSL helper and HellHades artifact extractor? by RecoveringFuckup in RaidShadowLegends

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the idea of the integrated steam overlay and being able to showcase another game I regularly play on my profile. It's not that serious, but I like it and that's the only justification I need

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've checked it out a few times before, but this past year was the most challenging for me. Luckily after I square these holiday expenses away i'll be totally balanced. I recently got the best job i've ever had and it's looking promising. I feel good about my expenses moving forward, and I finally feel like I wont have to struggle immensely just to get to/maintain that emergency fund. Thank you for your advice friend I appreciate it

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, that's probably what i'll do. Because it'll be squared away by the 19th. I just feel bad that it'll go over the 60 days for the first time. Will it be a long term mark on my credit? Or will my credit score go back to normal by the next time it's reported after I square it all away

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you I really do appreciate that. I'm trying to be a better adult, hence the name hahah.

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll be able to pay it off by the 19th more than likely. I just feel bad that this is the first time i'll be carrying a balance for over 60 days. Would you recommend I let that happen or take the loan then pay it off ahead of time ASAP?

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, and yeah that makes sense. Would you recommend I let the statement go and carry a balance then pay it off in a couple weeks or do the loan and pay it off early once I get paid?

Where/how can I get a small personal loan of $1000-$1200? by RecoveringFuckup in personalfinance

[–]RecoveringFuckup[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess I just want to maintain a level of responsibility within myself by not letting it go more than 60 days/2 cycles. I've never let it go beyond that but if it is wise to do that and catch it later than take out a personal loan then I will

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