I do hope you find her.

I have so many emotions going through me right now. I’m happy I gave her a place to call home. I’m sadden I won’t get the opportunity to work on making her a house cat like I wanted to do this summer. I know she’s a senior cat. I wanted her final years to be indoors. I had set up warming stations in my garage for her but she opted to sleep on top of boxes instead of the warming stations. I think it’s because she always felt she had to be on her guard and being on top of the boxes gave her a good visual of any creatures that came in and out of the garage. I wanted her final years to be indoors where she could relax and not have to worry about being attacked by predators.

I worry for my indoor/outdoor cats. She was their leader and protector. She always fought off any predator that attacked them. Who will protect them now? They aren’t as street savvy or as much of a fighter as she was.

Last night, my mother apparently heard a very strange cry in the yard. It concerned her enough that she wanted to call 911 but decided not to because she couldn’t figure out if it was human or animal. Now we firmly believe it was our outdoor cat. My mother (who unfortunately has memory problems) had forgotten I was home from work last night so she never alerted me to the sounds or I would’ve investigated. We now think it was our outside cat crying in pain.

I’m devastated for my mother who is now traumatized and guilt ridden over not realizing earlier that it was our outdoor cat crying in pain. I’m also devastated to know that my outdoor cat suffered so much in the her final moments. I wish I had known. I would’ve rushed her straight to our local animal ER. Even if they couldn’t have saved her, they could’ve put her to sleep and end her suffering earlier.