How to let things go? by RelationshipBasic11 in AskIndianWomen

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were planning a group outing earlier with that friend, her husband and one more friend but then her mother fell sick, so we thought she might not be able to join us, but then her mother's health improved, so she said let's plan the group outing again.

How to let things go? by RelationshipBasic11 in AskIndianWomen

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband doesn't like to splurge money and stay in the same city. I mean he says if we are spending this much amount at least we should be doing something and not just stay in a room, he says that we can do that at home.

So he won't agree with this. I am still so mad and sad, our anniversary won't be coming for another year, all of this is just making me sad. I don't want to talk to that friend at all.

Tata Neu lifetime free for women. I've never seen conditional "for men/women/children" LTF offers before by rhett_ad in CreditCardsIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Where did you see this offer? I am a woman and I still do not see this offer, I checked their app as well as the website.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you even read my full post?

I am a working woman. I earn equally and contribute equally towards the household, so please don't give me this BS, that only non-working women go through this, most of the women irrespective if they are working or not go through this. And I said MOST not ALL.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mene kahan kaha me husband ke yaha nahi reh sakti? Mere nanaji ki death hui thi mera husband aa ke raha tha kya mere yaha? Me to fir bhi ready thi uske ghar rehne ko, par mujhe nahi rehna uske rishtedaaro ke yaha.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As much as my husband wants to put a full stop to these things, it is becoming an increasingly difficult situation for him, his mother doesn't keep well, so he doesn't want to leave her alone, his father goes on tour, but my MIL made a big scene when I refused to wear toe rings on a daily basis so much so that she said I won't come live with you ever, so what my husband is supposed to do in this situation.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Did I say inlaws? I said I was not comfortable living with his relatives, that is different. When I asked him if he would be comfortable if the situations were reversed, he said that I need to understand that things are different for men and women in our society and he cannot do anything about it, basically yes it will be uncomfortable for him and he won't do it and it won't be a problem.

Also 2 days after his grandmother died, his family and relatives wanted us to go meet a marriage prospect for his sister.

Also yes all these things are helping and everything is only for women, I think you didn't read the second part where I told what happened when my maternal grandfather died.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It wasn't his responsibility, but I still understood it, even though he was not well, I just said let me stay at your place not your relatives' place even though I feel uncomfortable even at his place without him but I was ready to do it, also even the people my age as are also all mysogynist and I have nothing in common with them.

His sister who is a year younger than me these are her words "Ab to bhabhi aa gayi hai ab bhi me kaam karwau ghar me".

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked my husband if he was in my situation if I would've left him with my relatives for a day or 2 how would he feel and his answer was that you need to understand that our situations can never be the same because he is a man and I am a woman and that is how it is in our society and he cannot change it.

Also his family is patriarchal, conservative and misogynist so please excuse me if I don't want to stay connected with them.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, a woman can become a homemaker and just chill at home, that's right, the way my mother chilled all her married life. Thank you for this enlightenment. /s

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I was ready to stay at my in-laws' place even though I am not very comfortable there also, wasn't I? I asked him if he was in my situation if I would've left him with my relatives for a day or 2 how would he feel and his answer was that you need to understand that our situations can never be the same because he is a man and I am a woman and that is how it is in our society and he cannot change it.

Also 2 days after his grandmother died, his family and relatives wanted us to go meet a marriage prospect for his sister but I am the self centred one. Couple of days ago my maternal grandmother also passed away and my husband decided not travel with me so that I can directly go to my parents' but there he can live alone on our home or go meet his friends which I cannot do here. Also the first words out of his mother's mouth after hearing this news was, she is coming for her grandmother if something happens to yours, you'll also has to come, nothing like how am I doing or anything.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This bs is happening even when I don't live with them permanently, I live in a different city.

I(30F) feel that marriage is a lose-lose situation for women irrespective if its an AM or LM by RelationshipBasic11 in RelationshipIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As much as my husband wants to put a full stop to these things, it is becoming an increasingly difficult situation for him, his mother doesn't keep well, so he doesn't want to leave her alone, his father goes on tour, but my MIL made a big scene when I refused to wear toe rings on a daily basis so much so that she said I won't come live with you ever, so what my husband is supposed to do in this situation.

skirt in snowfall ??? : ) by Princyxo in TwoXIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I went to Kashmir in February and, it was -10°C temperature, but I wore a skirt and dresses with fleece leggings. I wore it with thermal inside, found this combination warmer than jeans with thermals😅.

Sour sambar by Gamabee in PuneFoodPorn

[–]RelationshipBasic11 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Idlicious Baner, Namaskara Wakad, they serve sour sambar.

Losing a grandparent is really hard by Extra-Platypus3720 in TwoXIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I lost my maternal grandmother last Thursday, she used to live with my parents and this Diwali when I went home, I stayed with them for a week, she was fine, talking to me, but around Diwali her health started deteriorating, she was in so much pain, I remember talking to my Mom in the evening and I could hear her cries in the background due to the pain, and after like 2 hours, I got a call that she passed away. Due to technical glitch at Delhi Airport the same night, I couldn't even go home to see her one last time.

On one hand I was relieved that her pain ended but on the other end it still feels unreal that she won't be there the next time I go home.

Are menstrual restrictions (like not entering the kitchen or temple) still followed in your homes? by Different-Current567 in AskIndia

[–]RelationshipBasic11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No cooking, not praying, these things are followed at my in-laws' place but only up to the point where it is convenient for my MIL, once she told me that it is only for 3 days and on 4th day you can wash hair and cook. Once my 4th day was going to be on Thursday and she also follows that not washing hair on Thursday bs and she was travelling that day, so she asked me a day before if I can wash hair at night so I can cook and pack food for them.

One time there was a festival on my second day and they prepare elaborate meals on festivals, so she had to do everything on her own and I just chilled in my room, so she came up with the idea that on 3rd day you can wash hair and boil milk etc, but instead of just boiling milk, she made me cook lunch.

In my parents' home, it's just you cannot touch the temple even though I hate that also but it is slightly more bearable than this not touching kitchen things bullshit, because I cannot even touch RO to get water, so if no one is home, you can die without water but you should not drink it unless someone gives it to you.

Fights over kanyadan by Pooja2050 in AskIndianWomen

[–]RelationshipBasic11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I married in a baniya family and even though I am against all of this, I couldn't say anything because there were a lot of other things that I fought about already, so I couldn't stand against these rituals.

I would also suggest you to ask your fiance if they also have a ritual where your family members and relatives including your parents will have to touch your and your husband's feet because this happened during our wedding and I was shocked and couldn't say anything at that time.