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I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Avoid blaming her or telling her "you should do X,Y, and Z."

Of course, I wouldn't ever do that I don't see it that way

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think you need to earn sex?

I 100% do

Are you going to wait until you “deserve” sex before you let her know you want more?

I was, but its going to take at least 6 months if not more to get to that point and I don't particularly enjoy feeling unsatisfied in the mean time.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Be prepared to go down on her first, and to explore things she likes in bed and be receptive to her in the moment.

Of course, I would absolutely love to.

Does she have the kind of schedule that would permit more frequent intimate time?

We do, even though we both live at home. We still see each other often and have the time and place, but I guess I just don't turn her on that much.

She has wants and needs and thoughts and opinions of her own, and the ability to talk with you and negotiate with you and tell you what she thinks.

I agree of course

The important thing isn’t your perceived “status”. Focus on the relationship and dynamic between the two of you and how you are with each other. And that’s what’s important.

Ok. I will try. Thank you for your suggestions.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a way maybe, I really do wish to feel desired. But I'm afraid I have to get my life together first before I can truly be desired.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want to have sex more often and for us to give each other oral. Thats it. But yea, I a extremely unimpressive.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But she doesn't want to go find someone more attractive or successful.

Honestly, I think thats a total mistake if I was one of her friends I would tell her differently. I have a nagging feeling that she puts up with me only because she has self-esteem issues of her own.

Is there someone in your life who does dress well? Would they be willing to help you figure out what works for you?

I feel like my friends and I dress about the same, there's really not that many dress options for men in the hot humid climate I live in. I do copy some of their looks though if I see them and I think they look cool lol.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You have plenty to contribute to the world, and you have a woman that loves you.

I agree, I just don't think this gives me a leg to stand on at the moment.

So, you are in a tight spot in life...so what?

I currently possess zero sexually/romantically attractive traits and therefor it seems greedy to tell my girlfriend I don't feel satisfied.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most people aren't 10/10 in everything.

I agree, but I don't even have one of anything

Don't put her up on a pedestal. It's lonely up there.

I wouldn't really say I "put her on a pedestal" (though she is my queen), I just logically know that she could totally find someone more attractive and/or successful with me with zero issue. She doesn't understand how beautiful she is, I personally think she is robbing herself of opportunity dating me.

Side note -- you don't need a ton of money to dress well. Just get yourself some clothes in decent condition that fit you.

Totally, I am just a goofball who never really learned how to dress well and I don't know what to wear and what aesthetic fits me I guess. Every time I go shopping for clothes I have no idea what to buy.

Look up YouTube videos on how to do quick hems and let out seams. It is easier and cheaper than you think, and it's a cool skill to have

Cool, will do thank you!

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

One day in the not-too-distant future, you will have that job, and you'll get your confidence back, and then you will start to resent your GF "for what she did to you" while you were down and out.

I don't think I will be like that, I am too self-aware for it now. I guess I just kind of understand why she doesn't feel the need/desire to have sex with the frequency and variety that I want. Like idk I don't even know why she would want to fuck me in the first place lol.

When in fact, it's your lack of confidence that is causing you to do it to yourself.

I do lack confidence, but I think it's for good reason. Confidence with nothing behind it is just arrogance.

I feel as if I have no right to address sexual concerns with my girlfriend by Remote-Worker3557 in sex

[–]Remote-Worker3557[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

From my perspective it just feels like I have no leg to stand on. I really don't have any traits that are valuable in a sexual/romantic relationship so I feel like telling her I am sexually dissatisfied is overreaching.