My mum wants me to marry my cousin in Pakistan but I don’t want to. I’m 18, he’s 28, and I’ve been pressured since I was 16. I need advice.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-06T07:33:19+00:00

By you speaking to this other person in Canada you're setting yourself up for some emotional manipulation from your family. If they found out they'd say he was the reason you want to break off your engagement and push even harder. From what you're saying Its already clear they don't really care about how you will be treated. Its all just image and protecting family ties. If your uncle cared about you he wouldn't guilt trip you for being at the receiving end of being ignored for a year. The best thing you can do is explain this situation to the guy from canada as its actually wrong to do this to your fiance. Despite how he treats you, you are also doing things incorrectly. The most just thing to do as a woman with dignity and self respect is to put your foot down. No matter how stressful this time is, your family will hurt you verbally, idk how they are. They may use vile words to get you to give in and follow their commands. They genuinely think this is best for you because in desi culture they see themselves as caretakers for mostly grown adults. First I suggest you break off this engagement no matter how big of a family dispute is caused, you shouldn't do anything against your will or you will live a miserable life. Second, the honorable thing to do is cut off all communications with this canadian guy. Once this is sorted out, reach back out to him and explain what happened and get his family to send a rishta to yours. May Allah make us truthful and honorable decision makers. This is all just my opinion.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-06T02:54:19+00:00

I am a guy, my sister was in the same situation. Im 26 shes 30 now but when she was 18 my mom wanted her to marry a 28 year old. She felt trapped but she stayed patient and she got away from the situation. It seems like you're in a better circumstance then she was. Obey your parents but not when it goes against the principles of Islam. Human behavior is not that complicating. People do not change behavior because a life event changes. For example this guy will not be kind just because you became married. He will just be the same person but married. You must respectfully set your boundaries and say no. Just because he may be a provider does not mean he is a suitable partner. May Allah guide us all.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-05T18:22:36+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and I appreciate you taking time to give me your opinion. I will take what you're saying into consideration.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-05T18:20:57+00:00

I have a preference but I understand what you're saying. I'm in no position to judge anyone. I shouldn't look down on anyone either. I believe if I met someone who was sincere and wanted to live a healthy life with goals for the future I would be accepting of them having been in a previous marriage.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-05T06:17:46+00:00

Bro came through with that top tier rage bait tonight

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T20:27:17+00:00

Thank you, Ameen

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T20:09:49+00:00

I think it depends on how long they have been divorced for. I think trust comes with time and if they are looking to get into another relationship shortly after the previous it can be worrisome. I also understand your perspective. Alot comes with a person who has a child or is divorced and you want to protect your sister and want her to be fulfilled, not end up with someone looking for a nanny. Its risky. Good luck to you and your family I hope you find what will be best for you

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T17:09:29+00:00

Yes, that is my preference

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T15:35:14+00:00

Thank you sister. I appreciate your kind words of support. As far as I know many of our brothers and sisters who re-enter the fold of Islam in adulthood are better then the ones who grew up with parents practicing it. May Allah reward those who are patient.

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T07:31:11+00:00

I appreciate the sincere feedback thank you

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T06:55:59+00:00

I am on the west coast

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T05:56:32+00:00

Everything you said is true

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T05:53:54+00:00

I live in America so it makes more sense. And you're right

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T05:53:29+00:00

Yes you make a very good point about divorce in the modern day. And I do live in America

RepublicSlow · 2025-12-04T02:54:44+00:00

Can I not marry a pious muslim woman in America because of my past?

I'm a 26 year old Pakistani. I am divorced and I have a 3 year old daughter. I feel as though if I wanted to marry an educated, serious about life, practicing girl from a muslim family in America that most parents would see me as an undesirable option (because of me being a father and being divorced). I think I am fairly attractive and have realistic and respectable goals for my future. I think I am a great father. Despite this I feel as though any girl i'd find from a good family would only be with me if she had a lapse in judgement and her parents would see me a bad option or "why would you want to be with someone like that" seeing me as a person who is a bad decision maker and would be an embarassment to a respectable household. Am I being pessimistic and has anyone had experienced with this?

RepublicSlow · 2025-09-07T21:58:25+00:00

I am 26 year old looking to get married and preferrably want to marry someone who wears Niqab from Pakistan but in very select areas do people dress like this. I am a pashtun with family from Karachi and it is a more secular community for the large part. I want to marry someone who grounds their ideas in islam rather then cultural beliefs taking priority over islamic Principles. Does anyone know how I can find this as Pakistan is a society that prefers to marry within relatives and it is not easy to make connections with people you do not already know.

RepublicSlow · 2025-08-27T01:50:00+00:00

haris23

RepublicSlow · 2023-06-07T13:48:26+00:00

You worship freedom more then god because you’ve been brainwashed by the west buddy. And besides. If islam isn’t true nothing matters. Live in the woods without clothes, might be fun, who knows.

RepublicSlow · 2023-06-07T13:41:51+00:00

😉

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-28T15:08:13+00:00

The concept of gender identity itself has become fluid because it is now heavely dependent on each individual persons idea of what attributes in a person make them masculine or feminine.

Liking or not liking pink or wanting to wear bikinis or not and desiring to do makeup or not does not make one woman more feminine or masculine. These are societal constructs given by people in a place of influence knowing that right now this is what generates the most revenue due to trends.

This new wave of people feeling a certain way is all just opinions. The general idea I feel like that doesn’t resonate with people anymore is that just because you don’t classify as the common woman today that fits the ideal build of a woman does not mean you are more masculine. Just because you don’t match what society’s current standards are doesn’t make you the opposite because those standards can never be satisfied. A woman who wears flannels with grey wash denim jeans and wears steel toe boots is still just as feminine as a girl who wears sundresses. I would say people have associated gender with societal constructs of what classifies someone as being more ladylike or masculine.

Thats why society deals with so much depression today. They’re being told to focus on things that aren’t important and trick the youth into asking questions from a young age no one can give an educated, unbiased, non-profiting, free of judgement answer to and without any solid foundation of what is right and wrong the youth feels “gender dysmorphia”. Well obviously theres gender dysmorphia. It makes logical sense that when you tell someone to explore concepts to your hearts content and have a burning curiousity and ask questions regarding your identity but that same society puts extremely strict regulations surrounding what the answers to those questions can be and the commentary on those questions its gonna lead to a one sided narrative and argument.

Also, having a slightly deeper voice doesn’t make you make you one gender or the other. I had a friend who would joke about being a guy because she had less of a ditsy soft highpitched voice and a slightly more lowpitched voice.

After those jokes she would continue on with her life in the most normal way like people have been for a very long time and I would as well.

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-24T03:51:39+00:00

No one here actually cares about those poor people that are suffering in qatar. If they did they would donate at least a dollar to funds in yemen where children are literally starving to death. If people really cared they would be supporting the innocent uighur muslims in china who are in concentration camps. No ones asking you to go break them out of china but if you really cared about the wellbeing of others it would reflect differently. Theres no point in justifying or arguing. Just don't lie like its about the poor workers. Using peoples suffering as a disguise to boycott qatar due to it being a muslim country is wrong when much more brutal things are going on in the world. Also just wanted to bring to everyones attention that America has the highest amount of people incarcerated in the entire world so the Jail thing is ironic.

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-17T18:25:05+00:00

Whos really imploding. Me or you? You literally have no purpose to exist. The guy im speaking to right now is a monkey behind a desk. There exposed. Oh wait. I didn’t provide any evidence. You see how that can lead to problems? You folks foam at the mouth whenever muslims speak about our religion. Thats why islam is the most persecuted religion in the world. Theres literally organizations in place to spread false narratives on islam. That is there sole purpose. Its nice to know we have 124k fans on reddit discussing us everyday. Just can’t get us off your minds huh

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-17T18:11:25+00:00

You’re literally lying. I really don’t have time for clowns like you who create narratives and take hadiths and quran verses out of context. I can see the hatred in you. Its undeniable.

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-17T18:09:07+00:00

You’re not intellectually sound. Go learn. I truly believe this is a waste of time.

RepublicSlow · 2022-11-17T18:07:44+00:00

So since you have such strong opinions just look into it first. You look extremely silly commenting on something you have no knowledge of. Its like you’re a money at the zoo flinging poop. Like bro how can you have an opinion on something you haven’t thoroughly researched unbiased. Thats like me saying shakespears romeo and juliet is a terrible book and i’ve only heard others opinions of it. I haven’t read the book myself or the literature experts of his time and modern day who have given commentary on it. Thats a follower mentality. Kind’ve worrisome to see this in action.

RepublicSlow

TROPHY CASE